Having nobody to spend time with can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to how to attract friends and keep them.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to become more outgoing and build rapport with others.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Open Up Your Schedule
If you have no social life, then you have to evaluate how you’ve been spending your time.
The older we get, the easier it is to get caught up with responsibilities that life throws at you.
The next thing you know, it’s been months since you’ve done anything social.
You haven’t made any new connections or kept in touch with your existing friends.
Check out this video if you want to know how to stop being shy and antisocial.
The thing is, you can say you want to connect more with others.
But if all you do is go to work, go home and binge on Netflix, then something needs to change.
If you want to learn how to attract friends, you have to prioritize it.
Remember, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.
How you spend it is up to you.
Keep in mind that building any type of relationship takes time.
That’s why you need to open up your schedule and create space for it.
If you’re wondering how to improve your social life, you have to be willing to make a change.
Stop making excuses and take responsibility for yourself.
2. Focus On Your Commonalities
Familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
That’s why we like people who are similar to us.
Think about it.
Isn’t it so much easier to get along with someone who enjoys the same things as you?
If you want to know how to bond with others, focus on your commonalities.
Explore mutual interests as much as you can.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
To help you with this, try asking more open-ended questions.
These are questions that require more than a one-word answer.
For example, instead of asking “Do you like reading books” you can ask, “What do you do for fun?”
Do you see the difference?
The first question can be answered with a “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.
This encourages the person you’re speaking with to share more details about themselves.
Also, whatever you do, avoid giving short responses when someone asks you a question.
This makes it difficult for anybody to figure out how to keep a conversation going with you.
Instead, make an effort to volunteer more information about yourself.
By doing so, you’ll trigger other topics that you can potentially discuss.
As a result, you’ll have more effortless interactions and build rapport with others much faster.
3. Be A Good Listener
How nice does it feel when you know someone is really paying attention to you?
In order for others to be interested in you, you have to be interested in them first.
Remember, there’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.
If you want to know how to attract friends, you have to be a good listener.
The next time you interact with someone, put your phone away and be present.
Get out of your head and have a genuine desire to get to know the person you’re talking to.
Lean forward to show interest and nod in agreement to acknowledge what they’re telling you.
Also, whatever you do, avoid interrupting someone while they’re speaking.
It doesn’t matter how excited you are to share something.
Let the other person finish what they’re saying and wait a few seconds before you respond.
You don’t need to rush yourself to speak up just to fill in the void.
Take a moment to pause and let things sink in.
By doing this, you’ll make whoever you talk to feel special and you’ll stand out in a good way.
4. Follow Through On Your Plans
Time is the one thing you can’t more of.
Once it’s gone, you can’t really get it back.
If you want to figure out how to improve your social life, you have to be reliable.
Keep in mind that nobody likes people who are flaky so make sure you follow through on your plans.
Personally, I can’t stand it when people are always late.
And if someone cancels on me last minute, I will definitely hesitate to see them again.
This is where managing your time better comes into play.
Before you make plans with someone, check your schedule first to make sure you’re available.
Also, get in the habit of showing up a little bit earlier for all your commitments.
You’ll have a buffer for anything that could happen last minute.
You’ll also have some time to gather yourself.
That way, you don’t feel rushed before you hang out with someone.
In the event that you’re running a bit behind or something unexpected happens, give the other person enough notice.
It shows that you respect them and that you value the relationship.
When you do these things, people are going to be excited to spend time with you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
5. Remember People’s Names
As the saying goes, a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language to that person.
I know for me, as soon as someone says my name, that person has my immediate attention.
If you’re wondering how to attract friends, this is something you need to get good at.
By doing so, you’ll make whoever you talk to feel acknowledged.
If you want to be able to remember someone’s name much easier, try to spell it out in your head.
Make an effort to use it often in conversation as well.
You can also associate their name with an image that you’re familiar with.
That way, you increase the chances of remembering someone’s name.
6. See The Best In Others
Imagine how good it feels when someone says something nice to you.
It’s pretty awesome, right?
If you want to learn how to attract friends, be generous with your compliments.
Make an effort to see the best in others.
Check out this video if you want to know 5 psychological tricks that make people like you instantly.
For example, if someone just got a haircut or if you like their outfit that day, feel free to mention it.
But if you want your compliments to stand out, praise people’s efforts instead of their physical appearance.
They’ll appreciate it more because you’re giving them props on something they had to work hard for.
Also, avoid gossiping and speaking ill of others.
If you do, then you might lose people’s trust.
They’ll assume you’ll do the same to them and say bad things when they’re not around.
Again, if you have something nice to say, then make sure you say it.
If not, then be quiet and just keep things to yourself.
7. Have A Sense Of Humor
I don’t know about you but I don’t like being around someone who’s so serious all the time.
That’s why having a good sense of humor is such an important skill to develop.
When you know how to be quick-witted, you can lighten up the mood in any situation.
You’ll raise your status in any group because people will feel good when they’re around you.
If you want to learn to be funny, I encourage you to start watching more comedy shows.
Pay close attention to the timing and delivery of the joke.
When something makes you laugh, take the time to analyze it.
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To help you get started, you can just repeat other people’s jokes for now.
That way, you’ll get a feel for how things work and see some quick wins as well.
On that note, don’t be that person who’s always trying to make people laugh.
You’ll come across as someone trying way too hard and things can backfire on you.
In this case, less is more.
You’ll want to think of banter as salt and pepper to your steak.
Just sprinkle enough to add some flavor.
If you use it too much, then it becomes overwhelming, right?
8. Avoid Being Negative
Look, we all have bad days.
Sometimes, things just don’t go our way.
Going through difficult moments becomes much easier when you have people to lean on to.
But if you want to know how to attract friends, avoid being negative all the time.
You have to get good at managing your emotions too.
Being around someone who’s always complaining is extremely draining.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a time and place to just release your emotions.
But rather than just venting, make an effort to find solutions as well.
Take responsibility for your situation and focus on what you can change.
Whatever you do, avoid dumping your emotional baggage on others.
Your friends can only support you so much until they get fed up with it.
When you’re able to manage your emotions, you become a more pleasant person to be around.
9. Be More Thoughtful
Most people who struggle socially make the mistake of waiting for others to initiate something.
If you want to maintain your relationships, don’t be so passive.
If you’re wondering how to attract friends, you have to be more thoughtful.
Be the first one to reach out to people in your network on a consistent basis.
Check out this podcast interview with Thanh Pham, Founder of Asian Efficiency, where he talks about how to host an awesome party.
Making plans with others don’t even have to be anything complicated.
For example, you can invite people out for happy hour.
You can host a board game night at your place.
You can also organize a picnic at a park.
When you do these things, you’ll get invited to other events as well.
Naturally, those who come to your get-togethers will want to reciprocate and include you in their plans.
10. Never Assume Anything
Personally, I’ve been friends with some people for many years now.
I can tell you from experience that great relationships require patience and persistence.
There will be moments when you’ll feel disappointed and discouraged.
To prevent that from happening to you, you have to get good at managing your expectations.
You just have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
For example, I had a friend who I didn’t hear from for a long time.
He never picked up my calls or replied to any of my text messages.
To be honest with you, it pissed me off at first.
My mind was focusing on the worst-case scenario and I was starting to take things personally.
But then, I found out that he had a loved one passed away.
He was going through a grieving period and just wanted some time to be with himself.
That’s why you should never assume anything.
Always clarify whatever it is that you’re unsure about.
When you make an effort to see the best in people, they will do the same for you as well.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to attract friends, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to focus on your commonalities or follow through on your plans?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.