As the saying goes, it’s not just what you know but who you know.
If you want to open up more doors for yourself then you need to figure out how to attract people.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to build a quality network from scratch.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Manage Your Emotions
Look, we all have bad days.
Sometimes, things just don’t go our way.
That being said, if you want to know how to attract people, you have to get good at managing your emotions.
Being around someone who’s always negative is extremely draining.
That’s why it’s so important that you’re able to stay on top of things.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a time and place to vent so you can release your emotions.
But rather than just complaining, make an effort to find solutions as well.
Take responsibility for yourself and focus on what you can change.
By doing this, you’ll solve your problems a lot faster.
You’ll also become a more pleasant person to be around.
2. Improve Your Sense Of Humor
I don’t know about you but I don’t like being around someone who’s so serious all the time.
That’s why learning how to make people laugh is such an attractive trait to develop.
If you’re wondering how to attract people, you have to improve your sense of humor.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be witty and clever.
What better way to learn to be funny and witty than from people who do it professionally?
You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.
That’s why I recommend you spend some time watching more comedy shows.
When you do, observe what kind of humor makes you laugh.
Ask yourself why you found something funny.
Make sure you notice little nuances as well.
Pay close attention to the delivery and timing of the joke.
Once you’ve done your analysis, do your best to integrate what you learned during your next interaction.
Keep in mind that some jokes are more appropriate than others.
When in doubt and you’re around people you don’t know, be observant first.
Pay attention to what they’re talking about.
The better you know your audience, the easier it’ll be for you to calibrate your material and delivery.
The key here is to be patient and persistent.
When you make a mistake, don’t take it personally and make sure you learn from it.
Observe what gets a positive response and what doesn’t.
If you keep practicing, you’ll eventually improve your sense of humor.
3. Be Your Authentic Self
Remember, nobody likes people who are fake.
That’s why you shouldn’t pretend to be someone that you’re not.
If you want to know how to attract people, let others see the real you.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
It doesn’t matter whatever you’re into.
The key here is to talk about your passions, hobbies, and interests with enthusiasm.
That way, you come across as more authentic and interesting.
Remember, the world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself.
And then find others who will like you for who you are.
When you act in alignment with yourself, you’ll figure out how to meet like-minded friends a lot faster.
4. Give More Than You Take
Imagine what would happen to your bank account if you withdraw more than you deposit?
You’ll be in the red in no time, right?
The same ideas apply to relationships.
Don’t be the type of person who only reaches out to others when you need something.
Check out this podcast interview with Charlie Houpert, Co-Founder of Charisma On Command, where he talks about how to become a high-value person.
I know people like that and it gets pretty annoying after a while.
Instead, make an effort to always be adding value to your friends’ lives.
For example, you can ask them about a goal that they’re looking to achieve or a current struggle that they have.
And then, find a way to help them out.
It doesn’t have to be anything big.
It could be as simple as recommending a book.
You can also give them advice on something that you have a lot of knowledge and experience in.
When you do this consistently, you’ll build lasting friendships with others.
You’ll also have people who’ll help you out in your time of need.
5. Keep An Open Mind
Getting into an argument is a quick way to end any conversation.
If you want to know how to attract people, try to keep an open mind.
Be empathetic and see every situation from other people’s points of view.
Remember, just because you don’t agree on something doesn’t make the other person wrong.
Not everybody will share your views and opinions, and that’s okay.
Make an effort to respect your differences.
Remember, familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
That’s why we like people who are similar to us.
Instead of getting into a debate about something controversial, try to focus on finding commonalities instead.
The more you do, the faster you’ll build rapport with whoever you talk to.
6. Be Genuinely Interested In Others
Those who don’t know how to relax around people think that all eyes are on them.
They feel too self-conscious because they’re overly concerned about what others think.
As a result, they stifle their personality and try way too hard to fit in.
But if you want to figure out how to attract people, you have to be able to take the focus off yourself.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming as an introvert.
Get out of your head and be interested in others instead.
The truth is we’re all inherently selfish.
If you want to appear more interesting, you have to be interested in other people first.
The next time you interact with someone, give them your full and undivided attention.
Be curious about them, actively listen and ask more open-ended questions.
By doing this you’ll make anybody you talk to feel more seen, heard, and understood.
That’s how you stand out and become more memorable.
7. Look More Approachable
Let me ask you a question.
Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have their arms crossed, and has a frown on their face?
Probably not, right?
As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression.
We all make snap judgments of people right away based on what we see.
If you want to know how to attract people, make sure you appear more friendly.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
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You have to pay attention to how you’re coming across.
Or else you might be pushing people away unintentionally.
If you’re wondering how to be approachable, remember to have an open body language.
Pull your shoulders back, maintain proper eye contact, and have a genuine smile on your face.
Keep your arms to your side and stand or sit with your feet should width apart.
By doing so, you’ll come across more inviting to others.
As a result, more people are going to be inclined to interact with you.
8. Be Reliable
Personally, I can’t stand it when people are always late.
And if someone cancels on me last minute, I will definitely hesitate to hang out with them again.
If you’re wondering how to attract people, make sure you’re reliable.
This is where managing your time better comes into play.
When you make plans with someone, remember to follow through.
By doing so, you show others that you’re someone dependable and trustworthy.
As a result, others will feel more secure and comfortable around you.
9. Meet People Strategically
If you’re a shy introvert, you don’t have to go to bars and clubs to socialize like extroverts do.
If you want to learn how to attract people, play to your strengths.
Be more intentional about your approach to connecting with others.
The best way to do this is to add a social component to things that you already like to do.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, go to a trendy coffee shop.
Join a fitness class instead of working out by yourself.
If you want to meet creative people, sign up for writing or photography classes.
Remember, mutual interest is the foundation of every great relationship.
My advice to you is to focus on meeting people whose values align with yours.
That way, you can create more meaningful connections much faster.
10. Give Sincere Compliments
Imagine how good it feels when someone says something nice to you.
It’s pretty awesome, right?
If you want to learn how to bond with others, be generous with your compliments.
Make an effort to see the best in people.
For example, if you noticed that someone just got a haircut or if you like their outfit that day, feel free to mention it.
But if you want your compliment to stand out, praise people’s efforts as well.
This is especially true if you gave them props on something that they had to work hard for.
Lastly, remember to be good at receiving compliments yourself.
Don’t just dismiss it when someone says something nice to you.
Receive it gracefully by smiling and saying thank you.
11. Ask Deeper Questions
It’s totally normal to exchange polite pleasantries with someone you don’t know well.
But if you want to know how to become a people people, don’t just get stuck at making small talk.
Go deeper and ask more personal questions as well.
For example, you can inquire if they have a hidden talent or if there’s a particular skill that they’d like to develop.
You can also ask if money wasn’t an issue, what would they do, and why?
By doing so, you’ll prompt anybody you interact with to open up and share details about themselves.
That way, you can get to know each other better and on a more personal level.
12. Elaborate On Your Responses
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
I noticed that most of them have a bad habit of just giving one-word answers.
If this sounds like you, avoid doing this at all costs.
The person you’re talking to you will find it hard to maintain the interaction.
They don’t have a lot of information to work with.
They’ll be forced to keep asking you questions which can feel pretty intrusive.
In order to prevent this from happening, make an effort to open up more.
Feel free to talk about yourself as well.
For example, let’s say someone asks you what you do for fun.
Don’t just give them a short response.
Try to go deeper and discuss specific things that you like about your hobbies.
Volunteer more information and be enthusiastic when you tell your stories.
By doing so, you’ll trigger other potential topics that you can discuss.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to keep a conversation going becomes much easier.
If you’re wondering how to avoid awkward silences, make sure you follow my recommendation.
13. Nurture Your connections
Most individuals who struggle socially make the mistake of being too passive.
They’re stuck at home on a Friday night waiting for people to reach out to them to do something.
If you’re wondering how to attract people, take the initiative.
Be the first one to make plans with others.
Give people a call and hit them up on social media.
Schedule to go for coffee or have lunch with your friends.
You can also organize a small gathering and bring everyone you’ve met together on a consistent basis.
I know this sounds like a lot of work but there’s really no way around it.
If you want to have lifelong relationships, you have to get good at nurturing your connections
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to attract people, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on improving your sense of humor or on nurturing your connections?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.