Building rapport with others quickly is almost like a superpower.

When people like you, more doors will open up for you.

That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to be friendly and approachable as an introvert.

I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.

1. Look More Approachable

The truth is, we all make snap judgments about people right away based on what we see.

If you look unfriendly, then you might be sending out the wrong impression to others.

To prove my point, let me ask you a question.

Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have their arms crossed, and has a frown on their face?

Probably not, right?

If you’re wondering how to be friendly as an introvert, you have to pay attention to your presentation.

For starters, avoid crossing your arms or legs because you’ll appear closed off.

People will assume that you don’t want to be bothered which will discourage them from interacting with you.

That’s why you have to adopt a more open body language.

Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and keep your arms to your side.

Remember to maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.

By doing these things, you signal to others that you’re warm and friendly.

As a result, you’ll give off a great first impression which will help you connect with anybody almost instantly.

2. Remember People’s Names

Personally, whenever someone uses my name in conversation, that person has my immediate attention.

It shows that they were paying attention which makes me feel special and acknowledged.

Keep this in mind if you’re wondering how to have a magnetic personality.

That being said, if you want to know how to be friendly as an introvert, make an effort to remember someone’s name.

Implementing this is very simple.

The next time someone introduces themselves to you, make sure you spell out their name in your head.

Try to use it often in conversation as well.

You can also associate their name with an image that you’re familiar with.

When you do those things, you increase the chances of remembering someone’s name.

And when you use it the next time you see them, you’ll surprise them in a good way which will make you stand out.

If you’re wondering how to be memorable to others, this is one of the best ways to do it.

3. Do Your Best To Relate

As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.

They’re paid based on their technical expertise and they typically work in isolation.

That’s why they don’t have a lot of experience having social interactions.

As a result, they don’t know how to relate to people which makes them feel like an outsider.

If that sounds like you and you want to fix this issue, you have to get good at finding commonalities with others.

You can do this by relating logically or emotionally.

Check out this video if you want to learn how to keep a conversation going.

For example, if you know a lot about the topic that’s being discussed, then share your personal experiences as well.

On the other hand, if the person you’re talking to shared something you’re not familiar with, then go deeper.

You can do this by identifying their motivation for why they do what they do.

Ask them what got them into it and how it makes them feel.

And then, try to share something you did in the past that gave you that same emotion as well.

The better you are at doing this, the more quality connections you’re going to make.

You’ll increase the feelings of sameness when you talk to people which will make you more likeable right away.

4 Ask Interesting Questions

Making small talk is such an important skill to develop.

At the end of the day, you have to be able to have casual conversations with people first so they can warm them up to you.

But if you want to figure out how to be fun to be around, you can’t get stuck there.

One of the easiest ways to have deeper conversations is to ask more interesting questions.

For example, instead of asking someone how they’re doing, you can ask them what’s been the most interesting part of their day.

Instead of asking what they do for work, ask them if they have a passion project that they’re working on.

Instead of asking what they do for fun, ask them what’s a skill that they’ve always wanted to develop.

Do you see how that works?

These types of questions really get people thinking and will prompt them to open up to you.

The more you do this, the more engaging your interactions are going to be.

5. See The Best In Others

Imagine how good it feels when someone says something nice to you.

It’s pretty awesome, right?

If you want to learn how to be friendly as an introvert, be generous with your compliments.

Make an effort to see the best in others.

Check out this podcast interview with Ben Altman, Co-Founder of Charisma On Command, where he talks about how to improve your personality.

For example, if you noticed that someone just got a haircut or if you like their outfit that day, make sure you mention that to them.

But if you want your compliments to stand out, praise people’s efforts more often.

It’s more meaningful because you’re recognizing something that they worked hard for.

Also, whatever you do, avoid gossiping and speaking ill of others.

Otherwise, you’ll come across as someone not trustworthy.

Think about it.

If you’re saying all those bad things about others, people will assume you’ll do the same to them behind their backs.

Again, if you have something good to say, then make sure you say it.

If not, then be quiet and just keep things to yourself.

6. Be More Thoughtful

Isn’t it awesome when a friend reaches out to you randomly saying they were just thinking about you?

Personally, I love getting messages like that out of the blue.

It makes me feel special because someone out there remembered me.

That being said, if you want to know how to be more friendly, make an effort to be more thoughtful.

Take the initiative and reach out to people in your network on a regular basis.

Doing this doesn’t have to be anything complicated.

It could be as simple as sending someone a text or better yet, giving them a call.

You can hit them up on social media or invite them out the next time you host a get-together.

I know this sounds like a lot of work but there’s really no way around it.

If you want to learn how to bond with others and build deeper friendships, you need to get good at nurturing your connections.

7. Be A Good Listener

The truth is, we’re all inherently selfish.

That’s why we tend to be fond of those who are interested in us.

And there’s nothing more annoying than being in a conversation with someone who seems distracted.

That being said, if you want to build rapport with people quickly, you have to be more present.

Put your phone away and really take the time to understand what the other person is saying.

Imagine how good it feels when you know the person you’re talking to is listening to you?

It’s pretty amazing, right?

Remember, there’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.

That’s why you have to be a good listener.

By doing so, you’ll figure out how to be more likeable a lot faster.

People will have a good impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.

8. Do Small Favors

A relationship is like a bank account.

You need to deposit more than you withdraw.

Don’t be that person who only reaches out to others when they need something.

I know people like that and it gets pretty annoying after a while.

If you want to figure out how to be friendly as an introvert, you have to consistently add value to other people’s lives.

For example, you can listen to them when they’re having a bad day.

You can give them advice on a topic that you know a lot about.

You can even just help them out with a chore.

Now I’m not saying you should bend over backward for others.

You should always make yourself a priority and take care of your needs.

But if it’s within your means to help someone out, then make sure you do.

By doing so, you’ll inspire loyalty in others and have people be there for you during your time of need.

9. Manage Your Emotions

Remember, there’s nothing attractive about someone who complains a lot.

It’s emotionally draining to be around them so I do my best to stay away from them at all costs.

If you want to figure out how to be fun to be around, you have to be able to manage your emotions.

When you can maintain a calm demeanor consistently, people will feel more comfortable in your presence.

From my experience, the best way to do this is to have a mindfulness practice.

Every morning, I recommend you meditate for a few minutes.

Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and just observe your thoughts without any judgment.

If you’re not doing it already, I would encourage you to start journaling as well.

Set aside a little bit of time each day to put your thoughts on paper.

By doing these things, you’ll be able to think more objectively.

You’ll be able to analyze your thoughts better and reframe limiting beliefs into something that empowers you.

This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful situations.

The better you are at managing your emotions, the more charismatic you’ll come across.

10. Always Be Light-Hearted

Remember, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

It’s inevitable that you’ll talk to someone who sees things differently than you.

And just because both of you don’t see eye-to-eye on a particular topic doesn’t make them wrong.

To succeed socially, always put yourself in other people’s situations.

Really try to see things from their point of view.

Check out this video if you want to be likeable as an introvert.

When you keep an open mind, not only do you prevent any argument, you increase your chance of learning something new.

I know for me, I’d rather be liked than right all the time.

The thing is, even if you with the debate, you’ll still lose because arguing with someone accomplishes nothing.

Instead, what you’ll want to do is to lead the interaction into topics that both of you are interested in.

Explore mutual interest as much as you can.

By doing so, you’ll be able to build rapport with anybody much faster and you’ll become more enjoyable to spend time with.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to be friendly as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.