Social Confidence Mastery

Social Skills Coaching For Technical Professionals

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By Myke Macapinlac

How To Be Interesting To Talk To As An Introvert

Do you want to become more memorable when you interact with people?

If so, then you need to figure out how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.

I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I give to our clients in our social skills coaching program.

What You'll Learn In This Post

  • 1. Reduce Time Wasters
  • 2. Get To Know Yourself
  • 3. Celebrate Your Uniqueness
  • 4. Keep An Open Mind
  • 5. Develop Your Courage
  • 6. Expand Your Network
  • 7. Have Things To Talk About
  • 8. Acquire New Skills
  • 9. Stop Ruminating
  • 10. Develop Your Wit
  • 11. Ask Interesting Questions
  • 12. Improve Your Conversation Skills
  • 13. Create A Bucket List

1. Reduce Time Wasters

I hate to break it to you but if all you do is go to work, go home, and play video games, then something needs to change.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a time and place to stay in and watch Netflix.

Every now and then, doing so is a great way to decompress especially after a long day from the office.

But if you want to know how to be interesting to talk to, you have to make time to do novel activities.

Check out this podcast interview with Cam Adair, Founder of Game Quitters, where he talks about how to quit playing video games.

In order to do that, you have to fight the urge to do what’s comfortable.

I recommend you cut back on doing things that don’t really add value to your life.

Remember, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.

Once it’s gone, you can’t really get it back.

Time is the one resource that we can’t make more of so don’t waste it.

If you want to become a more fascinating person, free up your schedule so you can try new things.

2. Get To Know Yourself

From what I’ve noticed, most people who struggle socially don’t feel good about who they are.

They often feel inadequate because they compare themselves unfavorably to others.

If that sounds like you and you want to learn how to be interesting to talk to, you need to stop doubting yourself.

Get to know who you are and figure out what’s interesting about you.

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In fact, developing self-awareness is one of the best confidence building exercises that you can do.

To help you get started, grab a sheet of paper and write down traits that you like about yourself.

You can also make a list of your accomplishments and unique things that you’ve done.

Remember, the more you know who you are, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own skin.

3. Celebrate Your Uniqueness

Imagine how boring the world would be if we all do the same thing.

That’s why you have to accept your individuality.

Embrace your quirks because they’re a big part of who you are.

Check out this video if you want to know how to be extroverted and confident.

YouTube Video

Instead of just going with the flow, do more things that you’re actually interested in.

Stop seeking validation from others and start giving it to yourself.

Whether you’re into coding, comic books, or cosplay, you should own it.

Remember, passion is very contagious.

It doesn’t matter how nerdy you think your interests are.

The key here is to talk about them with enthusiasm.

When you’re excited about something, others can’t help but feel the same way as well.

4. Keep An Open Mind

Having a routine is great if you want to get things done.

But, as the saying goes, variety is the spice of life.

My advice is to be open-minded and become more spontaneous.

For example, you can go to a restaurant that you haven’t been to.

You can listen to a genre of music that you normally wouldn’t.

You can book a flight and travel to a city that you haven’t visited yet.

Do you see how that works?

Stop being so dismissive of new ideas and try novel things more often.

By doing so, you’ll gain new preferences and expand your perspective as well.

5. Develop Your Courage

Based on what I’ve seen, most individuals who are boring tend to play it safe.

Because they’re so worried about what others think of them, they just keep to themselves.

That being said, I want to remind you that everything you want is outside of your comfort zone.

If you want to figure out how to be interesting to talk to, you need to take more risks.

To develop your courage, you have to keep doing things that make you uncomfortable.

Whatever you’re afraid of, gradually expose yourself to it.

For example, let’s say you feel anxious in social situations.

If that’s the case, I recommend you start small.

The next time you’re out and about, just set a goal to smile and say hello to strangers.

Once you’re comfortable doing that, incrementally make things more challenging for you.

Eventually, you’ll learn how to not be socially inept.

Over time, you’ll realize that nothing really bad ever happens when you go for what you want.

Another thing to remember is that rejection isn’t about you.

You have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives so don’t take anything personally.

6. Expand Your Network

You become the average of who you’re around with all the time.

That’s why it’s important that you learn how to be more outgoing and social.

Here’s me joining a group at an event.

If you want to know how to interesting to talk to, you have to be able to connect with various kinds of people.

Diversify your relationships and hang out with individuals from different walks of life.

I encourage you to talk to people who are older than you, members of the opposite sex, and those from other industries.

By doing so, you’ll gain unique insights that will give you new ways of seeing different situations.

7. Have Things To Talk About

Not knowing what to say is a common issue that I hear a lot from our clients in our social skills coaching program.

If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going, make sure you prepare ahead of time.

Think about it, you wouldn’t write an exam you didn’t study for, right?

Why would you go to any social gathering and not have anything to talk about?

If you want to figure out how to be interesting, come up with stories to share.

In order to develop confidence in any social situation, try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.

I also recommend you stay up to date with current events as well.

Before you go out, try to come up with as many stories that you can potentially share.

When you do, you’ll be a lot more engaging in any group conversation because you have something relevant to say.

8. Acquire New Skills

There’s really no way around it.

If you want to know how to be interesting to talk to, you need to do interesting things.

Doing the same activities over and over again won’t give you a lot of topics that you can discuss.

Remember, a boring life leads to boring conversations.

That being said, make an effort to educate yourself and acquire new skills on a regular basis.

For example, you can take up dance lessons.

You can figure out how to play an instrument.

You can also learn to speak another language.

Does that make sense?

Not only will acquiring new skills make your life more exciting, it’ll also give you more things to talk about.

You’ll be able to relate to a wider range of people and you’ll come across as a high-value person as well.

9. Stop Ruminating

Those who are socially awkward tend to replay past mistakes in their heads.

Because they never learned how to stop thinking about the past, they beat themselves up mentally.

If you’re wondering how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, you need to get out of your head be more present in your interactions.

In order to do that, I recommend you adopt a meditation practice.

All you have to do is to spend a few minutes each day quieting your mind and focusing on your breathing.

If you do this long enough, you’ll train your brain to slow down and you’ll be able to analyze your thoughts better.

As a result, you’ll feel less anxious and you’ll figure out how to relax around people.

10. Develop Your Wit

Learning how to be witty will make all your interactions more interesting.

When you have a good sense of humor, you’ll raise your status in any group.

You’ll be able to lighten up the mood and make whoever you’re with feel good around you.

Check out this video if you want to know how to be likeable as an introvert.

YouTube Video

Remember, the element of surprise is a big part of figuring out how to make people laugh.

If you’re wondering how to be funny, you have to be able to make correlations with subjects that are seemingly unrelated.

To help you get started, what you’ll want to do is to observe the things around you.

And then ask yourself what else it reminds you of.

Set a timer and jot down as many ideas as you can.

Be playful, use your imagination, and get creative.

The more you do this, the more you train yourself to think quickly on your feet.

11. Ask Interesting Questions

Making small talk for introverts is an important skill to develop.

At the end of the day, you have to be able to have casual conversations with people that you’ve never met before.

But, if you want to know how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, you can’t get stuck there.

Instead of just chatting about the weather or the situation you’re in, try asking more unconventional questions.

For example, you can ask what’s a hidden talent that they have or a skill that they wish they could develop.

You can also ask if they could travel anywhere, where would they go, and why?

Because most people don’t typically get asked these types of questions, it gets them really thinking.

As a result, you’ll have more meaningful conversations instead of just surface-level interactions.

12. Improve Your Conversation Skills

Personally, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.

A mistake that I see a lot of them commit is that they bring up topics that others can’t relate to.

They also tend to use complicated terminologies that not many people would understand.

If this sounds like you and you want to know how to avoid awkward silences, stop doing this right away.

If you want to learn how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, you have to figure out how to get better at conversation.

For example, the next time you tell a story, make sure it has a beginning, middle, and end.

Leave out unnecessary facts and emphasize how things make you feel instead.

Also, make an effort to relate and find as many commonalities as you can.

By learning how to improve your conversation skills, you’ll be able to build rapport with anyone almost instantly.

13. Create A Bucket List

For most people, their career takes up a significant chunk of their time.

If that sounds like you, it can feel like work is the only thing that you do.

But if you knew you would die next week, would you regret not doing anything else?

If you want to figure out how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, you need to have a life outside of your job.

That’s why I recommend you take the time to create a bucket list.

To help you get started, ask yourself if money wasn’t an issue, what would you do?

Where would you live?

Who would you spend time with?

For example, have you always wanted to write a book?

Or perhaps you just want to take time off and go backpacking.

Or maybe you want to learn how to sing and perform on stage.

Whatever it is for you, start jotting some ideas down and actually make plans to do them.

At the end of the day, if you want to know how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, you have to live a life that you’re excited about.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to be interesting to talk to as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.

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Filed Under: Career, Charisma

About Myke Macapinlac

Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant from the Philippines who moved to Canada at 17.

After graduating from school, he got a job as a structural designer for a prestigious engineering company.

Even though he was technically skilled, he was often overlooked because he had no idea how to interact with people.

Tired of always missing out, he started working on his social and communication skills back in 2004.

After many years of getting mentored by some of the best coaches and having thousands of conversations with strangers, he finally developed his social confidence.

In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted professionals get out of their heads, have things to say, and speak up in groups.

He also writes articles, makes YouTube videos, and records podcast episodes on the same topics.

These days, he's in a happy long-term relationship with a quality partner and has built an active social life filled with like-minded individuals.

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