Do you have a difficult time opening up and talking about how you feel to those around you?
If so, then you need to learn how to be more expressive.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to improve my communication skills.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Validate Yourself
Remember, you’ll be less likely to speak up if you don’t believe that what you have to say is good enough.
You’ll constantly feel hesitant if you don’t fully trust yourself.
If you’re wondering how to be more expressive, you need to raise your self-esteem.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to stop second-guessing yourself all the time.
From my experience, the best way to fix this issue is to shift your focus.
Stop beating yourself up mentally by constantly ruminating about your past mistakes.
Instead, start making a list of your positive traits and all your previous accomplishments.
If you do this long enough, you’ll feel good about who you are and you’ll increase your self-worth.
You’ll be less intimidated by others which will help you speak up more when you’re around people.
2. Accept Who You Are
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who you are and what you do.
There’s no way you’ll be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.
To succeed socially, you have to learn how to not take things personally.
In the same way that you don’t like every person you interact with, you can’t expect everyone to like you as well.
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If you want to learn how to be more expressive, you have to accept who you are.
Give yourself permission to own whatever it is that you’re into and focus on being your most authentic self.
By doing so, you’ll feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Remember, there are billions of people in the world.
You don’t need to pretend to be someone that you’re not just to be accepted by others.
My advice is for you to surround yourself with people who like you for who you are and encourage your growth.
3. Define Your Preferences
You’ll have a hard time figuring out how to be more expressive if you’re not self-aware.
I know it sounds obvious but in order to get what you want, you have to know what you want first.
From what I’ve noticed, those who are not assertive haven’t taken the time to identify what their needs are.
If that sounds like you, make sure you start defining your preferences.
Check out this podcast interview with Dr. Robert Glover, Author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, where talks about how to stop being a nice guy.
You can begin just by asking yourself what your likes and dislikes are?
And if you want to take this to the next level, I highly recommend you create a vision for your life.
Take the time to imagine what your ideal day would look like.
Doing these things will help you define what your priorities, values, and boundaries are.
As a result, you won’t be easily persuaded by others because you know what’s important to you.
4. Stop Caring What People Think
Those who suffer from social anxiety worry too much about what people think of them.
To avoid being criticized by others, they remain quiet and just keep to themselves.
If you can relate to that and you keep playing it safe, imagine what kind of life you’re going to have?
I can assure you that you’ll experience boredom and loneliness on a regular basis.
You’ll miss out on opportunities to connect with people and you’ll end up with a lot of regrets.
In order to feel happier and more fulfilled, you need to be able to put things in perspective.
If you want to learn how to be more expressive, you have to manage your expectations.
Just realize that nobody is paying as much attention to you as you think.
By keeping this in mind, you’ll figure out how to be less self-conscious in any situation.
This will help you become more courageous and you’ll be able to put yourself out there more.
5. Challenge Your Assumptions
Remember, you get exactly what you think about the most.
If you always anticipate a negative outcome then you’ll constantly feel nervous and afraid.
If you’re wondering how to be more expressive, you need to be mindful of your thoughts.
Instead of always thinking people won’t like you, why not imagine the best-case scenario?
That could happen too, you know?
Check out this video if you want to become outgoing if you have social anxiety.
To succeed socially, you have to get good at challenging your assumptions.
Don’t just believe everything your mind tells you right away.
When you assume that something will work out for you, then you’ll behave as if it will.
The more you do this, the faster you’ll learn how to relax around people.
6. Analyze Your Emotions
Most people who struggle socially have a hard time understanding how they feel.
That’s why they either suppress it or just ignore it.
If you want to know how to be more expressive, you need to get out of your head and move into your body.
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To help you with this, take the time to reflect on previous events and circumstances.
And then, start to figure out which ones made you feel good and which ones made you feel bad.
Try to notice recurring patterns and themes as well.
I know doing this can feel uncomfortable especially if you’re not used to it.
But if you keep at it, I can assure you that you’ll be able to make sense of your emotions better.
By understanding how you feel, you’ll be able to express yourself more effectively.
This will help you communicate better which will improve your relationships both personally and professionally.
7. Write Things Down
If you want to learn how to be more expressive, make sure you prepare ahead of time.
This is especially a good thing to do if you don’t have a lot of experience socializing with others.
To help you communicate more effectively, I encourage you to write things down.
By doing so, you’ll be able to organize your thoughts better.
When you can see what you’re thinking about, you’ll be able to analyze things more effectively.
You’ll be able to make the necessary adjustments to what you want to say.
This will help you convey your ideas in a way that others will receive well.
Again, the more you prepare, the more confident you’ll be talking to anybody.
You’ll prevent your mind from going blank and you’ll experience less awkward silences during your interactions.
8. Get Some Feedback
If you want to learn how to be more expressive, you need to know how you’re coming across to others.
That’s why it’s important that you get some feedback.
One of the best ways to do this is to role-play what you want to say with someone that you trust.
And then, ask them what they think you did well and what you still need to work on.
Try to keep an open mind and make sure you don’t take anything personally.
Use the information they give you as an opportunity to figure out how to get better at conversation.
But if you want to remove any of the guesswork and get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, you’ll get expert feedback and you’ll know exactly what to work on.
You’ll also have someone keep you accountable so you don’t procrastinate.
Remember, you have to interact with people every single day.
If you’re socially inept, you’re severely handicapping yourself from living your life to the fullest.
By learning how to be more socially confident, you never have to feel excluded and left out in any situation.
As a result, you’ll be able to build rapport with others more consistently and be able to create a quality network.
9. Work On Your Delivery
Remember, the majority of your communication is nonverbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
That’s why you have to pay attention to your delivery.
Check out this video if you want to speak louder and clearer.
If you’re wondering how to be more expressive, remember to have an open body language.
In order to appear more friendly, avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Remember to stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and keep your arms to your side.
Maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.
Use your hands to accentuate your points and try to vary your tonality as well.
To speak louder, talk from your stomach and not your chest.
You’ll be able to project your voice better when you do this.
Also, use “I” instead of “you”, especially during difficult conversations.
The last thing you want is to make the other person feel accused which can make them defensive.
When you do these things, you’ll come across as an effective communicator.
Whoever you talk to will be a lot more willing to hear you out and they’ll take what you have to say more seriously.
10. Open Up Incrementally
Being vulnerable is scary because you risk the chance of getting rejected.
But if you don’t open up, you’ll always have shallow interactions and superficial relationships.
In order to figure out how to be more expressive, this is something that you need to get good at.
To implement this, you’ll want to make small talk and keep the conversation light at first.
By exchanging some polite pleasantries, you’ll be able to gather relevant information.
This will help you learn more about the person you’re chatting with.
Once you feel like you have some rapport built, then try to share a small secret about yourself.
Gauge how the other person responds and then go from there.
If the person you’re talking to isn’t comfortable going deep, that’s okay.
Some take a bit more time to warm up compared to others so be patient.
By doing so, you’ll be able to bond with anybody much faster and deepen your relationship with them.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to be more expressive, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on challenging your assumptions or on analyzing your emotions?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.