Do you feel shy and nervous around people you don’t know?
If so, then you need to figure out how to be more outgoing as an introvert.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Fill In The Knowledge Gaps
From what I’ve noticed, the reason why most people struggle socially is because they don’t know any better.
It’s not like they teach you this stuff in school or at home, right?
If you’re like most of our clients in our social skills coaching program, you’ve probably been too focused on acquiring technical skills.
But if you want to live a more fulfilling life, then you need to learn how to be more socially confident as well.
Otherwise, you’re going to have a tough time building rapport with those around you.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If you’re not a naturally social person and you want to figure out how to be more outgoing, just know that you can develop it like any other skill.
It’s no different than learning how to play a sport or a new instrument.
You just need the right plan and enough practice.
Check out this video if you want to know how to develop social skills as an introvert.
To help you get started, you can read books, listen to podcasts or watch videos on how to interact with people.
And then, do your best to implement what you’re learning as much as you can.
Also, make sure you evaluate your progress on a weekly basis.
Take the time to identify what you’re doing well and what you still need to work on.
That way, you can be more strategic with your approach, and succeeding socially becomes inevitable.
2. Imagine Things Going Well
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of shy introverts in the past.
I noticed that most of them tend to overthink a lot.
They have a bad habit of ruminating about their past mistakes over and over again.
They focus on it so much that it significantly lowers their self-esteem.
If you’re wondering how to be more outgoing as an introvert, stop beating yourself up mentally.
Instead of thinking about the worst-case scenario all the time, why not assume the opposite?
When you expect good things to happen to you, then you’ll behave as if they will.
3. Let Others See The Real You
Most people who are socially anxious never learned how to stop caring so much.
Because they’re so afraid of being judged by others, they become timid and just keep to themselves.
If you want to know how to be more outgoing as an introvert, you need to be willing to let others see the real you.
Check out this podcast interview with Connor Beaton, Founder of Man Talks, where he talks about how to be vulnerable in relationships.
Remember, nobody likes people who are fake.
When you’re not pretending to be someone that you’re not, you come across as more trustworthy and relatable.
That’s why you should embrace your quirks and be the real you.
It doesn’t matter if you’re into nerdy stuff like comic books, cosplay, or video games.
Remember, the world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
Not to mention, the more authentic you are, the faster you’ll find the right relationships for you.
4. Think Of What’s Good About You
Let me ask you a question.
How can you expect others to like you if you don’t even like yourself?
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing as an introvert, you need to think of what’s good about you.
The more you focus on your positive traits, the better your self-image will be.
If you do this consistently, you’ll feel a lot more hopeful and motivated.
You’ll realize that you’re actually more capable than you give yourself credit for.
You’ll see yourself as a high-value person instead of always feeling like you’re not good enough.
As a result, you’ll be less intimated by others and you’ll put yourself out there more.
5. Play To Your Strengths
If you’re an introvert, you don’t have to go to bars and clubs to socialize if you don’t want to.
You just need to be more intentional with your approach to connecting with others.
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing as an introvert, play to your strengths.
The best way to do this is to add a social component to your passions, hobbies, and interests.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, go to a trendy coffee shop.
Join a fitness class instead of working out by yourself.
If you want to meet creative individuals, sign up for writing or photography classes.
Do you see how that works?
Remember, mutual interest is the foundation of every great relationship.
Isn’t it so much easier to interact with someone who likes the same things as you?
My advice to you is to focus on meeting people whose values align with yours.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to meet like-minded friends a lot faster.
6. Find More Extroverted Friends
As the saying goes, you become the average of the people you spend the most time with.
If you want to know how to be outgoing as an introvert, surround yourself with socially confident individuals.
Find more extroverted friends and do your best to emulate them as much as you can.
They’ll push you outside of your comfort zone which will help you build your social confidence a lot faster.
That being said, make sure you know your limits and always prioritize your needs.
Take the time to recharge on your own to prevent yourself from burning out socially.
7. Ask More Open-Ended Questions
Have you ever been in a situation where your conversation felt like an interview?
You’re going through your questions back-to-back and you’re only getting short responses?
If so, there’s a good chance you were using closed-ended questions which can be answered with one word.
To improve the quality of your interactions, ask more open-ended questions instead.
For example, instead of asking “Do you like your job?” you can ask “What do you like most about your job?”
Do you see the difference?
The first question can be answered with a “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.
If you’re wondering how to keep the conversation going, make an effort to ask open-ended questions.
By doing so, you encourage the person you’re chatting with to share more details about themselves.
And if you think about it, the more they talk, the more information you have to work with, right?
As a result, that could trigger other potential topics that both of you can discuss.
8. Have A Mindfulness Practice
If you’ve ever bailed on events last minute, then you need to figure out how to overcome social anxiety and shyness.
Otherwise, you’re going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to connect with people.
If you’re wondering how to be more outgoing as an introvert, you have to get good at managing your emotions.
You see, this is where having a mindfulness practice comes into play.
If you’re not doing it already, I highly recommend you meditate and journal on a consistent basis.
By doing so, you’ll be able to disassociate yourself from whatever you’re thinking about.
You’ll be able to question your disempowering thoughts instead of believing them right away.
Remember, it’s your mind anyway.
You can fill it with anything that you want.
You might as well choose beliefs that empower you and support your goals.
9. Learn To Make Small Talk
If you want to know how to be more outgoing, you need to be able to have casual conversations with people.
That’s why learning how to make small talk for introverts is so important.
Think about it.
It’s weird to ask someone you just met such personal questions too early, right?
If you want to build rapport with others, you have to be able to exchange polite pleasantries with them first.
Making small talk will also help you assess the person you’re chatting with.
That way, you can steer the conversation in a direction that works well for both of you.
If you’re not sure where to start, try to be more observant.
Use the situation that you’re in to help you come up with things to talk about.
For example, let’s say you’re at a networking function and you want to connect with someone new.
If that’s the case, you can ask them how they heard about the event and what they’re hoping to get out of it.
The key here is to get out of your head and follow your curiosity.
Avoid filtering yourself and just say the first thing that comes to mind.
10. Take The Focus Away From Yourself
People who don’t feel comfortable in social situations are too concerned about what others think.
They assume that everyone’s looking at them which makes them feel too self-conscious.
But if you want to figure out how to be more outgoing as an introvert, you have to get out of your head.
The best way to do this is to take the focus away from yourself and be interested in others instead.
Follow your curiosity and have a genuine desire to learn more about the person you’re talking to.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
The next time you interact with someone, be there fully and give them your undivided attention.
Put your phone away, be present, and really try to see where they’re coming from.
Actively listen and encourage them to share more.
By doing this, you’ll make anybody you talk to feel special.
They’ll leave the interaction feeling good and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
11. Look For Things In Common
Remember, familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
If you’re wondering how to be more likeable during your interactions, look for commonalities as much as you can.
When someone is able to relate to you, you feel closer to them immediately, right?
Check out this video if you want to know 5 ways to make people like you instantly.
For example, let’s say the person you’re talking to mentioned that they’re from the same hometown as you.
Then, by all means, keep talking about that.
On the other hand, if a topic that you don’t know much about comes up, then dig deeper.
Find out their motivation for doing what they do.
That way, you can relate emotionally by talking about an experience that gave you a similar feeling.
When you do, you increase the feelings of sameness between you and the person you’re talking to.
The more you do this, the faster you’ll be able to bond with others.
12. Give Yourself Props
Nothing great ever happens overnight so stop looking for quick-fix solutions.
Don’t expect yourself to get things right immediately because you’re guaranteed to make mistakes.
You’ll improve your social skills eventually if you just keep at it and don’t quit.
That’s why whenever you mess something up, watch out for your negative self-talk and reframe it into something more encouraging.
Put all your energy on things that you can control and just let go of the rest.
Always focus on the process and remove any attachment to the outcome.
For example, if you made the effort to start a conversation with someone, give yourself props whether it went well or not.
What matters is that you took action which means you’re one step closer to developing your social confidence.
To prevent yourself from feeling discouraged, always have self-compassion.
Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you could with what you know.
By doing so, you’ll keep taking action until you reach your social goals.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to be more outgoing as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on finding more extroverted friends or on taking the focus away from yourself?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.