If you want to create more meaningful connections in your life then you need to learn how to be more socially confident.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to overcome my shyness and be able to put myself out there.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Show Genuine Curiosity
Remember, we like people who like us.
If you want to know how to be more socially confident, then you need to get out of your head.
Take the focus away from yourself and be curious about the person you’re talking to.
Ask yourself what’s so interesting about them.
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Be present, put your phone away and give whoever you’re with your undivided attention.
Actively listen by leaning forward, nodding, and mirroring their body language.
By being interested in others, you’ll make them feel special.
As a result, they’re going to be interested in you as well.
2. Have A Growth Mindset
Like I said earlier, if you’re a shy introvert, you too can be more confident and charismatic if you work at it.
You just need to change the way you think.
In this case, those with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
On the other hand, those with a fixed mindset assume that putting effort into something is a sign that they’re not meant to do it.
That being said, which mindset do you think you have?
If you want to figure out how to be more socially confident, avoid having a fixed mindset at all costs.
Make a conscious effort to choose a growth mindset instead.
When you do, you’ll be a lot more willing to put in the work.
You’ll see failure as a temporary setback and you’ll keep going until this whole thing makes sense to you.
With that attitude and work ethic, it’s only a matter of time until learn how to bond and build deeper friendships with others.
3. Change Your Self-Dialogue
Let me ask you a question.
If you talk to others the way you speak to yourself right now, would you still have friends?
If the answer is no, then you need to practice more self-compassion.
If you’re wondering how to be more socially confident, change your self-dialogue.
When you make a mistake, avoid speaking to yourself in a demeaning way.
Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you could with what you know.
Remember, the relationship you have with yourself will dictate your relationship with others.
Talk to yourself the same way you would to someone you care about.
Be your own cheerleader and encourage yourself more.
4. Accept Who You Are
If you want to know how to be more socially confident and outgoing, you need to embrace your quirks.
Accept who you are and let others see the real you.
The world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
Remember, nobody likes people who are fake so stop pretending to be someone that you’re not.
It doesn’t matter if you’re into nerdy stuff like comic books, coding, or cosplay.
Do your best to show your true self in every social situation.
The key here is to talk about your passions, hobbies, and interests with enthusiasm.
Not everybody will like you anyway so don’t be afraid to polarize people.
Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself.
And then find those who will like you for who you are.
5. Look More Approachable
You never get a second chance to create a great first impression.
That’s why you have to take your presentation seriously.
Whether you like it or not, your looks really do matter.
The last thing you want to do is to turn people off unintentionally.
Check out this video if you want to know 5 psychological tricks that make people like you instantly.
If you’re wondering how to be more socially confident, you have to learn how to be approachable.
Your clothes, body language, and overall demeanor are the first few things people see.
That being said, make sure you dress well and also groom yourself.
Have a more open body language by standing up straight, making eye contact, and smiling.
Whatever you do, avoid crossing your arms or legs because you’ll appear unfriendly.
When you look approachable, more people are going to be inclined to talk to you.
6. Think Of What’s Good About You
If you want to know how to be more socially confident, you need to be mindful of what you focus on.
Keep in mind that nobody is perfect and we all have flaws.
But it’s up to you where you put your attention to.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.
If you want to know how to like yourself more, focus on your positive traits as much as you can.
To help you get started, grab a sheet of paper and make a list of what’s good about you.
In fact, this is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know of.
You’ll start to see yourself as a person of value and you won’t be as intimated talking to others.
The better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to put yourself out there.
7. Find A Social Hobby
If you’re a shy introvert, you need to go to bars and clubs to socialize if you don’t want to.
There are plenty of other options.
In order to figure out how to be more socially confident, you just need to do a bit of research.
What you’ll want to do is to add a social component to things that you already like to do.
Check out this podcast interview with Rob Riker, Founder of The Social Winner, where he talks about how to make friends organically.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, go to a trendy coffee shop.
See if there’s a meetup group for a specific interest that you have.
You can also sign up for a course to develop a new skill.
That way, you can meet other like-minded individuals as well.
Do you see how that works?
As you can see, learning how to make friends as an introvert doesn’t have to be difficult.
This whole process can be enjoyable if you become intentional about it.
8. Accept All Valid Invitations
If you identify as an introvert, then you prefer to spend time by yourself.
Interacting with other people too much can feel draining for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a time and place to stay in and be alone.
But if you want to know how to be more socially confident and outgoing, avoid isolating yourself for too long.
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
As intimidating as it could be, keep an open mind and accept valid invitations from others.
You don’t even need to be out for too long.
Even if you only show up for an hour or two, that’s still better than nothing.
At the end of the day, building meaningful relationships is still going to be a number’s game.
The more you put yourself out there, the more opportunities you have to connect with others.
9. Know What To Talk About
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Because they sit in front of the computer all day, they don’t really have a lot of opportunities to interact with people.
They’re paid based on their technical skills not on how social they are.
That’s why most of them blank out mentally and struggle in conversation.
If this sounds like you, you need to prepare ahead in advance.
Take the time to come up with things to share with others.
Check out this video if you want to become talkative and never run out of things to say.
If you think about it, most people usually discuss the same things over and over again, right?
Write out some stories regarding your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
And then, practice telling them as much as you can.
By doing so, you’ll feel more relaxed in any situation because you know what to talk about.
10. Improve Incrementally
There’s nothing more encouraging than seeing progress.
If you’re wondering how to be more socially confident and outgoing, lower the bar at first.
Set yourself up for success and get some quick wins right away.
That’s why you need to develop your social skills incrementally.
When you’re starting out, just focus on the easiest thing that you can do.
For example, try to maintain eye contact and say hello to strangers at first.
And then, introduce yourself and make some small talk.
Eventually, you can have longer conversations and do some witty banter as well.
Do you see how that works?
By starting small, you’re a lot more likely to take action instead of procrastinating.
When you interact with people consistently, you’ll figure out how to be more social eventually.
11. Embrace Discomfort
Imagine going to the gym after not having worked out for a while.
You expect that your body will be a bit sore at first, right?
But that feeling goes away if you keep training consistently.
If you want to know how to be more socially confident, the exact same ideas apply.
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That’s why you have to manage your expectations.
Remind yourself that discomfort is a good thing.
That’s a sign that you’re growing and making progress.
So instead of resisting it, you should embrace it.
12. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
Rejection hurts because it triggers the same part of your brain when you experience physical pain.
That’s why most of us avoid it at all costs.
But if you’re wondering how to be more socially confident, you have to take more risks.
You have to learn how to put yourself out there instead of playing it safe.
Not to mention, you just can’t take rejection personally.
First of all, you have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
If someone turns you down, it’s safe to assume that it’s not about you.
They barely know who you are.
They’re probably just having a bad day and they took it out on you by accident.
That’s why you should only focus on what you can control.
Whenever you make a move and take action, you should give yourself a pat on the back.
How people respond isn’t up to you so stop worrying about it.
If you get rejected, just brush it off and move on.
13. Seek Expert Guidance
Most people who struggle socially just don’t know any better.
They lack awareness and experience interacting with others.
If you’re socially inept, then definitely educate yourself on how to be more outgoing.
You can read blog posts about it, watch videos and listen to podcasts around this topic.
And then, try to implement whatever you’re learning as much as you can.
The only problem is doing things on your own can only get you so far.
If you want to get results much faster, seek expert guidance and work with a social skills coach.
Remember, time is your most valuable asset because you can’t make more of it.
Once it’s gone, you can’t really get it back.
Imagine all the opportunities to connect with people you already missed out on?
That’s why learning how to be more socially confident is one of the best skills you can ever develop.
It will help you thrive in your personal, romantic, and professional life.
Conclusion
If you want to know how to be more socially confident, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on changing your self-dialogue or on looking more approachable?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.