To get along well with others, you need to know how to be personable as an introvert.

By doing so, you’ll be able to thrive in your personal, romantic, and professional life.

Today, I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to have a magnetic personality and attract amazing relationships.

What Makes Someone Personable?

After studying thousands of socially savvy people for many years, I’ve noticed that someone is personable when they make others feel comfortable in their presence.

They’re easygoing, positive, fun, and relatable, all of which makes it easy for anyone to spend time with them.

Can You Learn To Be Personable?

Yes, you can definitely learn to be personable even as an introvert.

Speaking from experience, I know this to be true.

First of all, I used to be socially inept as an engineer.

But despite that, I figured out how to be more socially confident with the right information, enough practice, and expert guidance.

That’s why it doesn’t matter how shy, socially anxious, or awkward you think you are.

You can change your situation if you want to.

How Can I Make Myself More Personable?

1. Understand Social Norms

As an immigrant, I had a difficult time fitting in with others when I was younger.

Growing up in the Philippines and being raised in Saudi Arabia, I was exposed to different cultural norms.

Because I didn’t know how to relate to people when I moved to Canada, I often made them feel awkward around me.

That being said, if you want to learn how to be personable as an introvert, you have to be able to read social cues.

If not, you may say or do things that could potentially offend others.

Check out this podcast interview with Max Beaumont, Founder of Potato Chip Communications, where he talks about the importance of soft skills.

To help you get started, I encourage you to do some people-watching.

Go to a public place and just observe how people interact with each other.

Pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions as well.

And then, do your best to emulate what they do.

The more you do this, the better you’ll understand social norms around you.

By doing so, you’ll figure out how to be less awkward and become more socially adept.

2. Stop Being So Serious

Growing up in a traditional Asian family, academic success became my main priority.

I was conditioned to excel in school so I could get a high-paying job after I graduated.

As a result, I rarely went to any parties because I was always studying.

That’s why I was so serious all the time.

Needless to say, having a sense of humor didn’t come naturally to me.

Speaking from experience, you can learn how to make people laugh if you want to.

It’s a skill that can be developed just like anything else.

And once you do, you’ll be able to lighten up the mood in any situation.

You’ll figure out how to be fun to be around and people will enjoy your company more.

To help you with this, I encourage you to watch more comedy shows.

When something amuses you, take the time to analyze the structure, timing, and delivery of the joke.

And then, do what you can to implement what you learned the next time you interact with people.

Just imagine how you would make fun of your close friends.

Use that same mindset if you’re wondering how to loosen up in any social situation.

By doing so, you’ll learn how to relax around people, which will help you adopt a more playful attitude.

3. Calibrate Your Stories

Remember, the meaning of any communication is the response that it gets.

That’s why it doesn’t matter how good your intentions are.

If you don’t deliver your message in a way that others will receive well, you risk the chance of being offensive.

This could hurt your relationships in the long run and damage your reputation as well.

Check out this video if you want to know how to keep a conversation going.

That being said, if you’re wondering how to be personable as an introvert take a moment to read the crowd.

Things can get awkward fast if you don’t calibrate whatever you share.

Keep in mind that there are certain topics that appeal to different kinds of individuals.

When in doubt and you’re around people that you don’t know, be observant first.

Try to gather some information so you can learn more about whoever you’re chatting with.

By doing so, you’ll get to know your audience better which will help you build rapport with them. 

You’ll also be able to participate in any group conversation much easier instead of always feeling like an outsider.

4. Present Yourself Well

At the end of the day, you can be really smart and interesting.

But, if you don’t like it, then who’s going to know?

That’s why whether you like it or not, your looks really do matter.

Your style, body language, and overall demeanor are the first few things people see.

If you want to learn how to be personable as an introvert in tech, you need to pay attention to the way you present yourself.

To help you appear more friendly, make sure you have an open body language.

Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and avoid crossing your arms or legs.

Maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.

Also, make sure your clothes are clean, up-to-date, and well-fitting.

Remember to groom yourself properly as well.

Again, if you’re wondering how to be approachable as an introvert, make sure you do all these things.

When you look like someone worth getting to know, you’ll give off a great first impression and people will take you more seriously.

5. Assume People Will Like You

Look, it’s easy to feel jaded if you’ve been burnt in the past.

In fact, this is a common issue that I see a lot with other engineers in our social skills coaching program.

Because they were socially unaware, they’ve been rejected a lot and have had lots of awkward experiences.

As a result, they started to act standoffish to protect themselves from getting hurt again.

But, if you want to be socially magnetic as an introvert, you have to shift your focus.

Remember, you get exactly what you think about the most.

If you don’t know how to stop thinking about the past, then you’ll always feel guarded.

You’ll hold yourself back from putting yourself out there and you’ll have no social life.

To fix this issue, you need to start reframing your limiting beliefs.

Instead of always thinking others won’t like you, why not do the opposite?

Challenge your assumptions and be warm towards people right away

To help you with this, just imagine how you’d treat an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while.

That’s exactly what you want to be focusing on when you meet people for the first time.

When you assume that you’ll get along well with others, then you’ll act in ways to make that happen.

6. Ask Interesting Questions

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with making small talk.

To get people to warm up to you, it’s good to exchange polite pleasantries with them first.

But if you want to know how to be personable, you have to be able to get past that.

The thing is, you won’t be able to really get to know someone if you just talk about the weather or what traffic was like earlier that day, right?

If you want to have more meaningful conversations, try to ask more interesting questions.

For example, instead of asking someone how they’re doing, you can ask them what’s been the most interesting part of their day.

Instead of asking what they do for work, ask them if they have a passion project that they’re working on.

Instead of asking what they do for fun, ask them what’s a skill they’ve always wanted to develop.

Do you see how that works? 

Keep in mind that most people usually don’t get asked these types of questions.

Not only do these sound more engaging, it also makes for a more stimulating conversation.

My advice is for you to memorize a handful of these questions before you go out and socialize with others.

On that note, make sure you have your own answers prepared as well.

That way, you’ll be able to respond confidently and keep the conversation going with ease.

7. Put Your Attention On Others

You see, it’s normal to feel anxious if you’re always worried about being judged by others.

This will cause you to second-guess yourself and you’ll be too afraid to take risks.

That being said, if you want to know how to be personable as an introvert, you need to manage your expectations.

Check out this video if you want to know how to stop being shy and overcome social anxiety.

Believe it or not, nobody is paying as much attention to you as you might assume.

The truth is, everyone’s too focused on themselves to begin with.

That’s why you don’t need to be overly concerned about what people might be thinking about you.

To help you feel less nervous, you need to take the focus away from yourself and put it on others instead.

Remember, every person that you interact with has knowledge and experiences that you don’t have.

My advice for you is to follow your curiosity and see what you can learn from others.

If you’re wondering how to be memorable in social situations, this is one of the best ways to do it.

8. Keep An Open Mind

At the end of the day, we all have our own unique life experiences that influence our view of the world.

That’s why if you want to figure out how to be personable as an introvert, you have to keep an open mind.

At some point, you’ll meet someone who sees things differently than you.

And when that happens, you have to make an effort to understand where they’re coming from.

Put yourself in their situation and try to consider things from their point of view.

By doing so, you’ll learn to be empathetic and even appreciate your differences. 

Not to mention, getting into a heated discussion can turn any interaction awkward really fast.

You see, even if you win the debate, you’ll still lose because arguing with someone accomplishes nothing.

Again, if you’re wondering how to be more likeable, explore as many mutual interests as you can.

By doing so, you’ll be able to connect with anybody you interact with much faster.

9. Manage Your Emotions

Remember, whatever you feel, others feel as well.

If you want people to be at ease around you, you have to be able to cultivate those emotions within yourself first.

If you want to learn how to be personable as an introvert in tech, you have to be able to control the way you feel.

From my experience, the best way to do this is to have a mindfulness practice.

Every morning, try to meditate for a few minutes.

Close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and just observe your thoughts without any judgment.

I would also recommend you journal regularly.

Set aside some time to empty your mind and put your thoughts on paper.

By doing these things, you’ll be able to think more objectively.

This will help you stay cool, calm, and collected, especially during stressful moments.

By having a clear mind, you’ll be able to make better decisions which leads to more favorable outcomes.

10. Show Some Vulnerability

The reality is, we all have flaws and insecurities.

We all make mistakes, and nobody has it all together all the time.

That’s why we relate to people’s struggles so much better.

If you’re wondering how to be personable as an introvert in tech, stop trying so hard to appear perfect.

Ironically, the more vulnerable you are, the more likeable you’ll come across.

If you’re not used to opening up, then this might make you feel a bit uncomfortable at first. 

You risk the chance of getting rejected which obviously doesn’t feel all that great.

To help you get started, open up incrementally by revealing a small secret about yourself.

By being vulnerable first, you set the tone for the type of interaction that you want to have.

This will encourage the person you’re chatting with to open up as well.

By doing so, you’ll figure out how to bond with others very quickly and deepen your relationship with them.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to be personable as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.