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By Myke Macapinlac

How To Bond With Others As An Introvert

If you want more quality connections in your life as an introvert, you need to learn how to bond with others.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.

I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to have a social life and build closer relationships.

What You'll Learn In This Post

  • 1. Open Up Your Schedule
  • 2. Take The Initiative
  • 3. Do Small Favors
  • 4. Focus On Your Commonalities
  • 5. Be A Good Listener
  • 6. Open Up More
  • 7. Stay True To Yourself
  • 8. Be Reliable
  • 9. Ask Deeper Questions
  • 10. Have A Sense Of Humor
  • 11. Manage Your Emotions
  • 12. Take Your Time

1. Open Up Your Schedule

If you’re tired of being isolated, then you may want to take a look at how you’ve been spending your time.

I know it’s easy to get caught up with the responsibilities that life throws at you.

It can feel like work is the only thing that you do.

Next thing you know, it’s been a while since you’ve made new connections or hung out with your existing friends.

The thing is, you can say you want deeper connections in your life.

But if you’re always at the office or playing video games, then your actions say otherwise, right?

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If you’re wondering how to bond with others as an introvert, you have to prioritize it.

Stop making excuses and be willing to make a change.

Create space to build relationships with others by opening up your schedule.

By doing so, you’ll be able to actually do more interesting things and figure out how to not be boring.

2. Take The Initiative

Those who have difficulties maintaining their relationships tend to be too passive.

They make the mistake of always waiting for others to reach out to them.

If you want to know how to bond with others as an introvert, don’t be so prideful.

Check out this video if you want to know how to have a social life and have more friends.

YouTube Video

Take the initiative and be the first one to reach out to make plans with others.

Give them a call, hit them up on social media, and host events regularly.

From my experience, my friends always tell me that they appreciate it when I reach out to them.

If you want lifelong relationships, you need to get good at keeping in touch with people.

3. Do Small Favors

It’s convenient to spend time with someone when things are going well.

But friendships aren’t just all about having fun.

How you show up for others during challenging situations can really make or break your relationship.

If you want to figure out how to bond with people, do small favors for others especially when they need it most.

For example, you can listen to them when they’re having a bad day.

You can give them advice on a topic that you know a lot about.

You can even just help them out with a chore.

Now I’m not saying you should bend over backward for others.

You should always make yourself a priority and take care of your needs.

But if it’s within your means to help someone out, then make sure you do.

By doing so, you’ll inspire loyalty in others and have people be there for you during your time of need.

4. Focus On Your Commonalities

Remember, we like people who are similar to us.

If you want to know how to bond with someone, focus on what you have in common.

Make an effort to explore mutual interests as much as you can.

That’s why whatever you do, avoid talking about sensitive topics.

Getting into an argument is a quick way to end any interaction.

And just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t make others wrong.

Be empathetic, and try to see where people are coming from.

Respect your differences and just agree to disagree.

5. Be A Good Listener

The truth is, we’re all inherently selfish.

That’s why we tend to be fond of those who are interested in us.

Remember, there’s a reason why we have two ears and only one mouth.

If you want to know how to bond with others as an introvert, you have to be a good listener.

The next time you interact with someone, be present and give them your undivided attention.

Whatever you do, don’t interrupt them when they’re talking no matter how excited you are to share something.

When someone is done saying something, give it a few seconds before you respond.

Remember, it’s normal to have quiet moments during your conversations.

Don’t rush yourself to fill in the void and just take a moment to let what the other person said sink in.

By doing this, you’ll make whoever you talk to feel special and that’s how you stand out in a good way.

6. Open Up More

In order for people to trust you, they have to like you.

And in order for them to like you, they have to know you.

That’s why you have to open up and let them see who you really are.

Don’t be afraid to tell people what’s actually going on in your life.

Now I’m not saying you should just air out your dirty laundry.

You should always protect your reputation and keep some things private.

You have to find the balance of being vulnerable and sharing too much information.

My advice is to open up incrementally by sharing a small secret about yourself.

Gauge the other person’s feedback and see if they reciprocate.

By being vulnerable first, you encourage the other person to open up as well.

7. Stay True To Yourself

Most individuals who have trouble getting close with others often feel inadequate.

They feel like they have to be someone that they’re not in order for people to like them.

If you want to learn how to bond with others as an introvert, you need to accept yourself fully.

Check out this podcast interview with Derek Cajun, President of Love Systems, where he talks about how to be your authentic self.

That’s why developing self-awareness is one of the best confidence-building exercises you can ever do.

The more you know who you are what’s important to you, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own skin.

Embrace your personality and own whatever it is you’re into.

Remember, there are billions of people out there.

You never have to compromise your core values to be accepted by others.

Your goal is to become the best version of yourself.

And then, focus on meeting and connecting with those who will like you for who you are.

8. Be Reliable

Nobody likes people who are flaky.

If you’re wondering how to bond with others as an introvert, make sure you follow through on your plans.

Personally, I can’t stand it when people are always late.

And if someone cancels on me last minute, I will definitely hesitate to hang out with them again.

This is where managing your time better comes into play.

When you make plans with someone, make sure you’re reliable.

In the event that you’re running a bit behind, give the other person a heads up.

By doing so, you show others that you respect them and that you value the relationship.

9. Ask Deeper Questions

It’s totally normal to exchange polite pleasantries with someone you don’t know well.

But if you want to know how to bond with people, don’t just get stuck at making small talk.

Don’t be afraid to go deeper and ask more personal questions as well.

For example, you can ask what’s a hidden talent that they have or a skill that they wish they could develop.

You can also inquire if money wasn’t an issue, what would they do, and why?

By doing so you’ll prompt people to open up and share more details about themselves.

That way, you can get to know each other better and on a more personal level.

10. Have A Sense Of Humor

I don’t know about you but I don’t like being around someone who’s so serious all the time.

That’s why having a good sense of humor is such an important skill to develop.

When you know how to banter with others, you can lighten up the mood in any situation.

You’ll raise your status in any group because people will feel good when they’re around you.

If you want to learn to be funny, start by watching more comedy shows.

Pay attention to the timing and delivery of the joke.

When something makes you laugh, ask yourself why.

To help you get started, you can just repeat other people’s jokes for now.

That way, you’ll get the hang of things and see some quick wins as well.

11. Manage Your Emotions

Look, we all have bad days.

Sometimes, shit just happens.

That’s why it’s so important that you’re able to stay on top of things.

Your friends are there to support you when things get tough.

But if you want to know how to bond with people you have to get good at managing your emotions too.

Being around someone who’s always negative is extremely draining.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a time and place to vent and just release your emotions.

But rather than complaining, make an effort to find solutions instead.

Take responsibility for yourself and focus on what you can change.

By doing this, you solve your problems and you also become a more pleasant person to be around.

12. Take Your Time

Building deep friendships is like growing a plant.

It doesn’t happen overnight and you have to keep taking care of it.

When getting to know someone, just enjoy the process.

Don’t overthink it and just focus on having a good time.

Here’s me catching up with a good friend.

Personally, I’ve been friends with people for many years and some, for over a decade.

I can tell you from experience that great relationships require persistence and patience.

There will be moments when you’ll feel disappointed and discouraged.

To prevent that from happening to you, you have to get good at managing your expectations.

You have to learn how to not take things personally because you have no clue what’s going on in people’s lives.

My best piece of advice is to never assume anything.

Always make the effort to clarify whatever it is that you’re unsure about.

When you make the effort to see the best in others, they will do the same for you as well.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to bond with others as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.

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Filed Under: Friendship

About Myke Macapinlac

Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant from the Philippines who moved to Canada at 17.

After graduating from school, he got a job as a structural designer for a prestigious engineering company.

Even though he was technically skilled, he was often overlooked because he had no idea how to interact with people.

Tired of always missing out, he started working on his social and communication skills back in 2004.

After many years of getting mentored by some of the best coaches and having thousands of conversations with strangers, he finally developed his social confidence.

In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted professionals get out of their heads, have things to say, and speak up in groups.

He also writes articles, makes YouTube videos, and records podcast episodes on the same topics.

These days, he's in a happy long-term relationship with a quality partner and has built an active social life filled with like-minded individuals.

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