Social Confidence Mastery

Social Skills Coaching For Technical Professionals

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By Myke Macapinlac

How To Enjoy Socializing As An Introvert

If you don’t learn how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, you’ll have a difficult time meeting like-minded friends.

Today, I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach our clients in our social skills coaching program.

What You'll Learn In This Post

  • 1. Develop Self-Awareness
  • 2. Act As If You’re Confident
  • 3. Plan Ahead Of Time
  • 4. Accept Who You Are
  • 5. Overcome Your Approach Anxiety
  • 6. Volunteer Information About Yourself
  • 7. Be More Relatable
  • 8. Assess Your Situation
  • 9. Stop Filtering Yourself
  • 10. Be Genuinely Interested
  • 11. Practice Being Uncomfortable
  • 12. Work With A Coach

1. Develop Self-Awareness

The quickest way that I know to feel inadequate is to compare yourself to others.

You’ll hesitate to share your thoughts if you don’t feel like you’re good enough.

If you’re wondering how to enjoy socializing, you need to develop self-awareness.

The better you understand yourself, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own skin.

To help you get started, I recommend you take an online personality test.

Doing so will give you a good understanding of your strengths and weaknesses.

For example, if you identify as an introvert, then you tend to lose energy from social interactions.

You get drained after talking to too many people.

You like to recharge by spending time alone.

By having that kind of information, you can manage your expectations better.

You’ll be able to assess your situation more objectively and not feel like you have to be someone that you’re not.

As a result, you’ll be able to make decisions intentionally and put yourself in situations where you’re likely to thrive.

2. Act As If You’re Confident

Your mind and body and interconnected.

When you change one the other follows.

To prove my point, let me ask you a question.

What do you think would happen to a sad person if he jumps up and down while pumping his fists in the air?

He’d probably feel better, right?

You see, this is where fake it until you make it come into play.

Check out this video if you want to know how to be more outgoing and less awkward.

YouTube Video

No matter how nervous you feel, make an effort to adopt the body language of someone who’s charismatic.

I recommend you pull your shoulders back, keep your chin up and stand with your feet shoulder-width apart.

Make sure you smile, keep your arms to your side and remember to maintain eye contact with others.

When you look more confident, other people will treat you as if you are.

3. Plan Ahead Of Time

You wouldn’t write an exam that you didn’t study for, right?

So why would you go out to meet people and not have something to say?

If you want to learn how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, you need to prepare ahead of time.

That way, you don’t bail on events that you want to attend because you feel too anxious.

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Mitigate your fears by researching the social gathering that you’re planning on going to.

Anticipate what most people might be talking about and come up with some stories that you can share.

You can also familiarize yourself with trending topics and stay up-to-date with current events.

When you know you have something valuable to say, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable interacting with anybody.

4. Accept Who You Are

Most people who are socially anxious never learned how to stop caring so much.

They’re afraid of being themselves because they don’t want to be judged by others.

As a result, they stifle their personality and try way too hard to fit in.

If you’re wondering how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, you need to accept who you are.

It doesn’t matter if you’re into nerdy stuff like comic books, cosplay, or coding.

Embrace your quirks and let others see the real you.

Remember, nobody likes people who are fake so stop pretending to be someone that you’re not.

By doing so, you’ll come across as more authentic and relatable to others.

When you act in alignment with who you are, you’ll meet like-minded friends a lot faster.

5. Overcome Your Approach Anxiety

If you want to know how to enjoy socializing, you have to get good at walking up to strangers.

The sooner you manage your approach anxiety, the more abundance you’ll have socially.

If you don’t have a lot of experience meeting people, make sure you start small and improve gradually.

Gather as many positive reference experiences as you can.

You want to prove to yourself that nothing bad will happen if you talk to someone you don’t know.

Check out this podcast interview with Nick Sparks, Founder of Sparks of Attraction, where he talks about how to approach anyone.

Unfortunately, I’ve worked with clients in the past who got some bad advice online.

As a result, they got turned down repeatedly.

Because they don’t know how to overcome the fear of rejection, they took things personally.

Eventually, they became jaded and timid.

They just assumed that they’re not meant to figure out how to be more outgoing.

To prevent that from happening to you, lower the bar and get some quick wins.

Just do the easiest thing you can do and go from there.

For example, you can start by making eye contact and smiling at strangers.

After that, try to make some small talk.

And then you can figure out how to keep a conversation going and do some witty banter as well.

Do you see how that works?

As you can see, you don’t need to overcomplicate this process.

Work on one thing at a time, and build on your social successes.

6. Volunteer Information About Yourself

If you’re wondering how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, avoid giving one-word answers as much as possible.

For example, let’s say you’re a software engineer and someone’s wondering what you do for work.

Don’t just give them a short response.

This makes it hard for anybody to keep talking to you because they don’t have a lot of information to work with.

The person you’re interacting with has to keep asking more questions which can make things awkward.

To fix this, what you’ll want to do is to volunteer more information about yourself.

The next time someone inquires about your career, talk about what got you into it and what you like about it.

The more details you share, the more you’ll trigger other potential conversation topics.

Also, avoid using jargons when you tell your stories.

These are terms that only other people from your industry would understand.

If you do, that’s just going to go over people’s heads.

Use simple words to talk about anything that may seem complicated.

That way you make it easier for people to maintain a conversation with you.

7. Be More Relatable

We like people who are similar to us.

If you want to learn how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, explore mutual interests as much as you can.

That’s how you build rapport with others quickly.

Those who can do this well you’ll figure out how to be more likeable right away.

Check out this video if you want to know how to be likeable as an introvert.

YouTube Video

Keep in mind that there are two ways to relate:

You can do it logically or emotionally.

Relating logically is what most people do.

Let’s say you’re chatting with someone from the same hometown as you.

That’s a logical connection.

But what if that isn’t the case?

What if you meet someone who does something completely different than you?

This is when you try to relate emotionally.

You can do this by inquiring about their motivation for doing what they do.

You can also ask them how certain things make them feel.

From then on, you can bring up a story where you’ve experienced something similar in the past.

8. Assess Your Situation

Most people who struggle socially often have an exaggerated version of what failure looks like.

If you want to figure out how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, you need to assess your situation more objectively.

Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can realistically happen?

If you actually take the time to do this, you’ll realize that nothing is ever as bad as you might think.

For example, let’s say you’re at a party and you want to introduce yourself to someone you’ve never met before.

Well, a couple of things can occur.

You can either have an awesome conversation or make a new friend.

Or, things get awkward and you’ll feel weird for a little bit.

Both are possible outcomes for sure.

But if you think about it, the worst-case scenario isn’t all that bad right?

That’s why you should always challenge your assumptions.

Don’t believe everything your mind tells you right away.

By taking more risks, you’ll prove to yourself that you’re capable of going for what you want.

9. Stop Filtering Yourself

If you’re wondering how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, you need to raise your self-esteem.

You have to value your opinion more than what others think.

Stop pressuring yourself to come up with clever things to say all the time.

Ironically, trying way too hard has the opposite effect.

Instead of people liking you, you end up coming across as more socially awkward.

That’s why you need to stop filtering yourself.

Remove whatever expectations you have and be open to any outcome.

Just relax, have fun, and allow your true personality to shine through.

Remember, you’re not going to be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.

Most people are so concerned about themselves anyway.

They’re usually not paying as much attention to you as you might think.

Even if you say something silly, others would’ve forgotten about you in a few hours.

Just focus on becoming the best version of yourself and have positive intentions when you interact with people.

10. Be Genuinely Interested

Have you ever talked to someone who you know isn’t fully paying attention to you?

It’s annoying, isn’t it?

If you want to come across as someone memorable, remember to be present during your interactions.

Give whoever you’re with your full and undivided attention.

The best way to do this is to view yourself as a student.

Approach every interaction eager to learn something new.

By doing so, you’ll make whoever you talk to feel important and you’re going to stand out in a good way.

When you show people that you’re genuinely interested in them, they will be interested in you as well.

As a result, you’ll be able to build deeper connections with others much faster.

11. Practice Being Uncomfortable

In order to feel more confident in any social situation, you have to practice repeatedly.

For example, to help me overcome my shyness when I was younger, I got a job as a server in a busy restaurant.

It broke me out of my shell very quickly because I had to talk to strangers every single day.

On top of that, my tips were dependant on how personable I was.

I also learned to interact with different types of people because I was exposed to them a lot.

That being said, if you want to build your courage and overcome the fear of rejection, put yourself out there as often as you can.

The more you do, the faster you’ll figure out how to improve your conversation skills.

12. Work With A Coach

Let me ask you a question.

Would you take financial advice from a broke person?

How about tips on how to get abs from someone who’s overweight?

If you want to know how to enjoy socializing as an introvert, learn from someone who has what you want.

The thing is, information is cheap and it’s available everywhere.

What you’re looking for is insight and that only comes from personal experience.

Working with a competent social skills coach will help you fast-track your results.

You’ll get a proven plan to follow and specific feedback on how you’re doing.

You’ll have someone keep you accountable so that you keep taking the right action.

Get this part of your life handled so that you never have to worry about it ever again.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to enjoy socializing, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.

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Click here to apply for social skills coaching

Filed Under: Socializing

About Myke Macapinlac

Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant from the Philippines who moved to Canada at 17.

After graduating from school, he got a job as a structural designer for a prestigious engineering company.

Even though he was technically skilled, he was often overlooked because he had no idea how to interact with people.

Tired of always missing out, he started working on his social and communication skills back in 2004.

After many years of getting mentored by some of the best coaches and having thousands of conversations with strangers, he finally developed his social confidence.

In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted professionals get out of their heads, have things to say, and speak up in groups.

He also writes articles, makes YouTube videos, and records podcast episodes on the same topics.

These days, he's in a happy long-term relationship with a quality partner and has built an active social life filled with like-minded individuals.

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