Do you have a hard time putting your thoughts into words?
If so, then you need to learn how to express yourself verbally.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Analyze Your Emotions
Most people who struggle socially have a hard time understanding how they feel.
They either suppress it or just ignore it.
If you want to know how to express yourself verbally, you need to be able to analyze your emotions.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming if you have social anxiety.
What you’ll want to do is to make time to reflect on previous events and circumstances.
And then, start to figure out which ones made you feel good and which ones made you feel bad.
Try to notice recurring patterns and themes as well.
Doing so will help you diagnose your emotions better.
The more you know how you feel, the faster you’ll figure out how to be more outspoken.
2. Write Things Down
If you’re wondering how to express yourself verbally, make sure you prepare ahead of time.
To help you communicate more effectively, you have to organize your thoughts better.
That’s why having a journaling practice is one of the best habits that you can cultivate.
My recommendation is to take the time to think of what you want to say in advance.
And then, write down your thoughts on paper.
When you can see what you’re thinking about, you’ll be able to analyze what’s going on internally much easier.
The more you prepare, the more confident you’ll be talking to anybody.
I also recommend you try recording yourself telling a story or discussing your idea.
By doing so, you’ll be able to observe your body language and hear how you sound.
This will help you make the necessary adjustments before you go out and socialize.
As a result, you’ll be able to talk to people with ease in any situation.
3. Consider Another Perspective
The truth is, we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why the best way to get what you want is to make sure others get what they want as well.
If you want to learn how to express yourself verbally, you have to be empathetic.
You need to consider where other people are coming from.
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Put yourself in their situation so you can see their point of view.
That way, you’ll be able to explore more options and find a situation that works for everyone involved.
Remember, people will be a lot more likely to hear what you have to say when they know you have their best intention in mind.
By doing so, you’ll be able to communicate in a more compelling way.
4. Get Some Feedback
You don’t know what you don’t know unless someone shows you how.
If you want to figure out how to express yourself verbally, it’s important that you get some feedback.
One of the best ways to do this is to role-play what you want to say with someone that you trust.
And then, ask them what they think you did well and what you need to work on.
Just make sure you don’t take anything personally.
Use the information they gave you as an opportunity to learn how to get better at conversation.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll get feedback from someone who knows what they’re doing which will prevent you from making unnecessary mistakes.
You’ll also have someone keep you accountable so that you don’t procrastinate.
As a result, you’ll make progress a lot faster and finally get this part of your life handled.
That way, you never have to worry about missing out on opportunities to connect with anybody.
5. Raise Your Self-Esteem
Most people who have a hard time speaking up don’t feel good about themselves.
They have low self-worth because they don’t like who they are.
They don’t believe that what they have to say matters that’s why they just keep to themselves.
If you want to know how to express yourself verbally, you learn how to like yourself.
One of the best confidence-building exercises that I know is to focus on your positive traits.
Start making a list of what’s good about you and all the things you’ve accomplished so far.
When you do this consistently long enough, you’ll improve your self-image.
You’ll begin to appreciate yourself more and more.
You’ll see yourself as someone worth getting to know and you won’t be as intimidated by others.
When you like who you are, you’re a lot more likely to speak up and say what’s on your mind.
6. Stop Overthinking
Those who don’t know how to relax around people think that all eyes are on them.
They assume that everybody just notices everything that they do and are judging them harshly.
The thing is, in order for others to be comfortable around you, you have to be comfortable with yourself first.
If you want to learn how to express yourself verbally, you need to stop overthinking social interactions.
The reality is, everyone is so concerned about themselves anyway.
Believe it or not, nobody is paying as much attention to you as might think.
By keeping this perspective in mind, you’ll figure out how to be less self-conscious.
As a result, you’ll feel more relaxed and act like yourself around people.
7. Work On Your Delivery
Remember, the majority of your communication is nonverbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
If you want to be able to hold people’s attention better, you have to work on your delivery.
Check out this video if you want to be able to express yourself louder and clearer.
Keep in mind that your body language makes a huge difference when you’re talking to someone.
That’s why it’s important that you pay attention to it as well.
In order to appear more friendly, maintain proper eye contact, smile, and avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Lean forward to show interest and nod occasionally to acknowledge what the other person is saying.
When you do those things, you’ll look a lot more confident and charismatic during your interactions.
People will listen to you and take what you have to say more seriously.
8. Question Your Assumptions
Most people who struggle socially tend to worry a lot.
They exaggerate failure in their heads so much that it cripples them from taking action.
If you’re wondering how to express yourself verbally, always question your assumptions.
You can do this by identifying what the best and worst-case scenarios are.
That way, you’ll be able to evaluate your situation more objectively.
You’ll realize that nothing is ever as bad as you make it out to be.
Instead of always assuming that bad things will happen, why not think of the opposite?
That could happen too, you know?
If you want to figure out how to overcome social anxiety and shyness, this is one of the best ways to do it.
9. Avoid Using Filler Words
Using “um, like, ah, and you know” in conversation is very distracting.
If you want to know how to express yourself verbally, avoid using filler words when you speak.
Whoever’s listening to you will find it hard to focus on what you’re saying.
To prevent this from happening to you, make sure you prepare ahead of time.
Like I said earlier, write down what you want to say and try recording yourself as well.
If you’re able to, roleplay your interactions with someone that you trust and ask for their honest feedback.
By doing these things consistently, you’ll figure out how to interact with people more effectively.
10. Open Up Incrementally
We all relate to people’s struggles better.
If you want to figure out how to express yourself verbally, don’t be afraid to show some vulnerability.
Feel free to tell others a little bit about what’s going on in your life.
Just make sure you find the balance between opening up and sharing too much information too soon.
Keep in mind that there’s nothing attractive about someone who’s negative.
Avoid complaining or discussing your personal issues with someone that you just met.
What you’ll want to do is to keep the conversation light and fun at first.
Once you feel like you have some rapport built, then try to share a small secret about yourself.
See how the other person responds and then go from there.
11. Use Simple Words
Remember, familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
The more commonalities you can find with others, the more connected you’re going to feel.
That being said, a conversation mistake that I see a lot of people commit is using complicated words when they share something.
They throw around a lot of technical terms that only their co-workers would comprehend.
If you want to know how to express yourself verbally, always use simple words.
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Try to explain high-level ideas in a way that’s easy for others to understand.
By doing so, you’ll become more relatable.
This makes it easier for anybody to keep a conversation going with you.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to bond and build a deeper connection with others much faster.
12. Don’t Take Things Personally
Most people who struggle socially make everything about them.
When they don’t get a favorable response from others, they automatically assume that they did something wrong.
If you’re wondering how to express yourself better verbally, you need to know how to not take things personally.
The thing is, you just have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
I know for me, I’m not in a very social mood if I’m in a funk myself.
To reduce your anxiety, put all your focus and energy only on things that you can control.
Once you’ve done everything that you can, you just have to let things go after that.
13. Keep Practicing
Most people who struggle socially lack awareness and experience interacting with people.
If you think about it, it’s not like you learn this stuff in school or at home, right?
That being said, I want to remind you that developing any skill set takes time.
If you want to know how to express yourself verbally, you have to put your reps in.
Check out this podcast interview with Joe Ducard where he talks about how to level up your social life.
As tempting as it could be, I encourage you to avoid any activities that isolate you for too long.
If I was you, I would limit watching television and playing video games for now.
Instead, make an effort to talk to people in your day-to-day life and practice as much as you can.
The more you do, the faster you’ll develop your social confidence.
To help you get started, I recommend you interact with people in low-risk settings first.
For example, you can chat with the barista the next time you get your coffee.
Make small talk with the cashier at the grocery store.
Feel free to strike up a conversation with your driver the next time you take an Uber.
By having interactions regularly, you’ll gain lots of positive reference experiences.
You’ll prove to yourself that you’re actually capable of communicating effectively with others.
The better your social skills are, the more meaningful relationships you’ll have in your life.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to express yourself verbally, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on analyzing your emotions or on writing things down?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.