If you want to be able to connect with anybody, you need to learn how to get better at conversation.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I used to figure out how to never run out of things to say.
What You'll Learn In This Post
How Do I Know If I’m Boring?
You know you’re boring when your life is boring.
That means you don’t do much other than work.
Remember, you can only talk about the same topics until it gets repetitive.
That’s why you need to make time to do more interesting things.
My advice is for you to acquire new skills and have novel experiences on a regular basis.
For example, you can read good books, play an instrument, or take up a new sport.
You can also learn how to dance, take awesome pictures or speak another language.
The more knowledge and experiences you have, the more open-minded you’ll become.
You’ll expand your perspective and be able to connect with people from different backgrounds much easier.
Not only will this make you a high-value person, but you’ll also become engaging to talk to.
If you’re wondering how to be fun to be around, this is one of the best ways to do it.
How Can I Be Good At Small Talk?
If you want to be good at small talk and be able to come up with things to discuss on the spot, then be more observant.
You can do this by noticing what’s happening around you.
And then, create conversation topics based on what you see.
To make this work, you have to stop filtering yourself all the time.
Avoid ruminating so much so you can learn how to relax around people.
And then, get good at making associations, and just say the first thing that comes to mind.
Again, to prevent any lull during your interactions, use your environment to help you come up with topics to discuss with others.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to be more talkative in any social situation.
You’ll be able to connect with more like-minded people and you’ll have a vibrant social life.
How Can I Talk Without Boring People?
1. Be Aware Of Trending Topics
If you’re wondering how to be more talkative, you need to know a little bit about a lot of things.
That’s why you need to make an effort to stay up-to-date with current events.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to always have something to talk about.
From Shy To Social
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To be aware of trending topics, visit reputable news websites and follow their social media accounts as well.
When you’re in the know, you’ll have lots of ways to engage whoever you interact with.
That way, making small talk will become much easier for you and you’ll be able to relate to anybody much faster.
On that note, I want to give you a word of caution.
If you want to know how to be more likeable during your interactions, stay away from sensitive subjects.
Whatever you do, avoid discussing religion, politics, sex, and race, especially with someone you don’t know well yet.
You don’t want to get into a heated debate about something controversial to see whose point of view is right or wrong.
In order to get along well with others, try to be light-hearted and easy-going during your interactions.
2. Think Of What To Say
In order to prevent awkward silences during your interactions, you need to do some preparation.
This is especially true if you don’t have a lot of experience socializing with people in general.
If you want to know how to keep a conversation going, brainstorm some things that you want to talk about.
If you really think about it, the same topics tend to come up in conversation over and over again anyway.
That being said, I encourage you to come up with interesting ways to discuss different areas of your life.
Prepare some stories regarding your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
The more you do, the easier it’ll be for you to figure out how to interact with people.
Remember, it’s a lot easier to be present in social situations when you know what to talk about and how to respond.
3. Avoid Asking Closed-Ended Questions
If your interactions in the past ever felt like an interview, there’s a good chance you were asking closed-ended questions.
These are questions that can be answered with one word.
If you’re wondering how to get better at conversation, avoid doing this at all costs.
My advice is for you to ask more open-ended questions instead.
By doing so, you’ll prompt whoever you’re conversing with to share more.
Check out this video if you want to become talkative and be able to keep the conversation going.
They have to explain themselves in greater detail which will give you lots of information to work with.
As a result, that could potentially trigger different topics that both of you can discuss.
This will help you figure out how to hold a conversation much easier.
The more information you have to work with, the fewer quiet moments you’re going to have during your interactions.
4. Work On Your Listening Skills
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially tend to be too focused on what they’re going to say next.
They’re so in their heads that they’re not actually not paying attention to the person they’re speaking with.
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Remember, there’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.
If you want to know how to improve your conversation skills, you have to practice being a good listener as well.
Once you’ve taken the time to prepare your stories, you just have to let things go after that.
The next time you talk to someone, put your phone away and really try to see where they’re coming from.
Lean forward to show interest and nod in agreement to acknowledge what the other person is sharing.
When you do, you’ll improve your connection with everyone you interact with.
They’ll leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
5. Share Details About Yourself
As mentioned before, don’t just give one-word answers when you’re talking to someone.
This makes it difficult for people to keep chatting with you because they don’t have a whole lot to work with.
For example, let’s say you’re a software engineer and someone just asked you what you do for work.
Instead of giving a short response, make an effort to share details about yourself.
Go deeper, talk about what made you get into your career and what you like about it.
Leave out technical jargons and emphasize how things make you feel instead.
Again, if you want to become easier to talk to, remember to volunteer information about yourself.
That way, whoever you’re speaking with will have lots of opportunities to continue engaging with you.
6. Do Your Best To Relate
Remember, we like people who are similar to us.
Familiarity builds comfort very quickly so explore as many mutual interests as you can.
When the person you’re talking to shares something that they’re passionate about, do your best to relate.
You can either do it logically or emotionally.
In this case, if you know a lot about the topic that’s being discussed, mention your personal experiences as well.
For example, let’s say you and the person you’re chatting with are both into fitness.
Then, by all means, keep talking about that.
Feel free to explore that subject even more.
But what if that isn’t the case?
What if the person you’re talking to said something that you’re not familiar with?
Let’s say they’re into photography you know nothing about it.
In that situation, try to relate emotionally.
All you have to do is to find out their motivation for why they do what they do.
You can ask “What got you into that?”
That question will encourage the person you’re speaking with to open up more.
And then, share something you did in the past that made you feel the exact same way as well.
If you’re not used to communicating in this manner, it will definitely require some practice.
Remind yourself to be patient and to just keep at it.
Once you figure this out, you’ll have no trouble relating to anybody you talk to.
7. Follow Your Curiosity
At the end of the day, we all have an innate desire to feel important.
If you want to know how to get better at conversation, make sure you follow your curiosity.
The next time you’re chatting with someone, ask yourself what you can learn from this person.
You’ll want to view yourself as a student.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming as an introvert.
Connect with that sense of curiosity and keep the conversation going from that place.
By doing so, you’ll be able to think of follow-up questions to ask and related stories to share much easier.
When you’re genuinely curious about people, you’ll build rapport with them very quickly.
As a result, you’ll become more memorable to others and you’ll stand out in a good way.
How Can I Train Myself To Talk More?
If you lack awareness and experience interacting with others, you can train yourself to talk more by practicing in smaller settings first.
That way, you can figure out how to be more socially confident without feeling pressured to get things right immediately.
Check out this podcast interview with Justin Stenstrom, Founder of Elite Man Magazine, where he talks about how to manage your social anxiety.
For example, you can chit-chat with whoever you share the elevator with.
You can make small talk with the driver the next time you take an Uber.
You can strike up a conversation with the person sitting beside you during your commute.
When you practice your conversation skills in easier settings first, you won’t feel as pressured.
Not to mention, when things don’t go as expected, you’ll be less likely to make a big deal out of it.
The key here is to start where you’re at and focus on making incremental improvements.
Over time, this will help you gather lots of positive reference experiences.
As a result, you’ll feel more confident interacting with people during moments that really count.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to get better at conversation, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to think of what to say or do your best to relate?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.