Do you have a hard time engaging lots of people when you’re in a social gathering?
If so, then you need to know how to get better at socializing.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Dress To Impress
The thing is, you can be the smartest and most interesting person out there.
But if you don’t look like it, then people may not take you seriously.
Whether you like it or not, your looks really do matter.
Check out this podcast interview with Barron Cuadro, Founder of Effortless Gent, where he talks about how to build a lean wardrobe.
What you wear and how you groom yourself are the first few things that people see.
Think about it.
How would you treat someone who’s wearing a baggy hoodie compared to someone in a well-tailored suit?
Very differently, right?
As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression.
If you want to know how to get better at socializing, you have to pay attention to how you present yourself.
To help you get started, figure out what kind of event you’re going to attend.
Once you’ve identified the dress code, put together your outfit accordingly.
In any case, make sure your clothes are clean, well-fitting, and have neutral colors.
You can also add a statement piece like an accessory to spark conversations with others.
When you look like someone worth getting to know, people will assume positive things about you.
They’ll be more inclined to interact with you and listen to what you have to say.
2. Prepare Your Stories
From what I’ve noticed, most people who struggle socially go to an event without a game plan.
Because they don’t know what to talk about with others, they end up having awkward silences during their interactions.
If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, take the time to figure out what you want to say.
Again, make sure you research the gathering that you plan on attending.
Try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If you think about it, similar topics tend to come up in conversation over and over again anyway.
That being said, prepare some stories regarding your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
Once you have them written out, review them as much as you can.
I would also encourage you to stay up-to-date with trending topics and current events.
By taking the time to come up with things to say, you’ll feel a lot more at ease in large groups.
You’ll be able to confidently talk to anybody because you know you have something valuable to share.
As a result, you’ll be able to connect with more people and you’ll have a blast at any get-together that you attend.
3. Pretend You’re Someone Charismatic
Your mind and body are interconnected.
When you change one, the other follows.
By acting as if you’re already confident, you’ll improve how you feel almost instantly.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be outgoing and likeable.
To help you implement this, ask yourself what a socially confident individual would do?
Close your eyes and pretend that you’re that person as well.
If you want to figure out how to get better at socializing, adopt the body language of someone who’s charismatic.
Make sure you stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and keep your chin up.
Remember to smile, keep your arms to your side and maintain proper eye contact.
When you look confident and charismatic, people will treat you as if you are.
4. Raise Your Self-Esteem
Most people who struggle socially don’t feel like they’re good enough.
That’s why they don’t value their opinion.
If you want to know how to get better at socializing, you need to raise your self-esteem.
Think about it.
How can you expect others to like you if you don’t know how to like yourself?
Stop beating yourself up mentally and think of your positive traits more often.
In fact, this is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.
If you’re not used to doing this, make sure you start small by complimenting yourself on things that are easy for you to appreciate.
By doing this consistently, you’ll start to see yourself as a high-value person and you won’t be as intimidated by others.
As a result, you’ll be less quiet in groups and actually say what’s on your mind.
5. Read The Crowd
If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, you have to be empathetic.
Make sure you read the crowd and put yourself in other people’s situations.
When in doubt, take the time to observe the group that you’re a part of and the situation you’re in.
Pay close attention to what everybody else is talking about.
This is where making small talk comes into play.
By having casual conversations with others first, you’ll be able to gather information and learn about them.
It’ll give you a good idea which topics to bring up that add value to the group conversation.
The more you know your audience, the easier it’ll be for you to contribute to what’s being discussed.
6. Be Interested In Others
Most people who struggle socially tend to ruminate a lot.
They’re stuck in their heads imagining what others might be thinking about them.
If you want to figure out how to get better at socializing, you need to shift your focus.
The best way to do this is to put your attention on others.
Give whoever is speaking in the group your full and undivided attention.
Be present, actively listen and encourage them to share more.
Doing this will make you look like you’re a part of the group conversation even if you’re not saying much.
By being interested in others, they’ll be interested in you as well.
And when it’s your time to talk, people will pay attention to you and will want to hear you out.
7. Stop Overthinking All The Time
The fear of rejection holds most people back from putting themselves out there.
They’re so worried about being judged by others.
That’s why they remain quiet and just keep to themselves.
Check out this video if you want to know how to stop being shy and overcome social anxiety.
If that sounds like you, I want to remind you that nobody is paying attention to you as you might think.
That’s why it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake or do something silly.
I can assure you that most people would’ve forgotten about you at the end of the day.
If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, stop overthinking all the time.
By doing so, you’ll feel more relaxed at any event be able to show your true personality even in large groups.
8. Tell Good Stories
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Due to the nature of their jobs, they sit in front of the computer all day.
They’re paid based on their technical expertise and they’re not really required to be social.
That’s why they lack the knowledge and experience when it comes to interacting with people.
Most of them struggle socially because they just don’t know any better.
If you can relate to that and you want to get better at socializing, you have to be able to communicate effectively.
That’s why you have to figure out how to tell good stories.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
That being said, the next time you share something, make sure you structure it well.
Set things up properly by giving some background information and creating some contrasts.
Use descriptive words and leave out unnecessary facts.
You’ll want to emphasize how things make you feel instead.
And then release the tension when you conclude your story.
Use your hands to accentuate your points and vary your tonality as well.
When you do these things, you’ll come across as a captivating storyteller.
You’ll be able to hold people’s attention in the group much better.
If communicating in this manner doesn’t come naturally to you, just keep at it.
Remember, nothing great ever happens overnight.
That’s why you need to be patient and keep practicing.
If you’re willing to, try recording yourself while telling a story.
That way, you can observe your body language and hear how you sound.
This will give you the necessary feedback to help you improve your delivery.
9. Have A Sense Of Humor
If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, stop being so serious all the time.
You need to adopt a more playful attitude and develop your sense of humor.
When you know how to make people laugh, you can lighten up the mood in any situation.
You’ll become a source of positive emotions and you’ll raise your status in any group.
Remember, being quick-witted comes down to your ability to think of different ways of seeing normal things.
To help you get started, what you’ll want to do is to observe the things around you.
And then ask yourself what else it reminds you of.
Try to make correlations with subjects that are seemingly unrelated.
Use your imagination more and get creative.
When you do this exercise over and over again, you’ll train your brain to be spontaneous.
This will help you think quickly on your feet which will help you banter better with others.
That being said, make sure you don’t overdo this.
Avoid being that person who’s always trying to make jokes.
You’ll come across as someone trying way too hard and things can backfire on you.
10. Keep An Open Mind
If you want to figure out how to get better at socializing, you have to manage your expectations.
Every now and then, you’ll be around people where you don’t have as many things in common.
If that’s the case, try to keep an open mind.
Just know that it’s normal to be more talkative in some groups and be quieter in others.
The best thing you can do in those situations is to follow your curiosity.
See if you can learn something new.
That way, you’ll still enjoy yourself and be able to make the most out of the experience.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to dress to impress or work on preparing your stories?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.