You’ll have a tough time building rapport with anybody if you’re always so uptight.
That’s why you need to learn how to loosen up in social situations.
Today, I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to relax around people.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Avoid Making Assumptions
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially tend to make everything about them.
They get offended easily and automatically assume the worst-case scenario.
If you’re wondering how to loosen up, you need to be able to analyze your thoughts better.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming if you have social anxiety.
Remember, you can’t control what happens to you.
But you can always change the meaning that you give to your circumstances.
Keep in mind that there are always two sides to every story.
A lot of people don’t talk about this but good timing plays a huge role in building rapport with others.
I know for me, I’m generally a very outgoing person.
But, if I’m feeling off that day, then I’m not in a very social mood.
That’s why you have to learn how to not take things personally.
The reality is, you just have no clue what’s going on in people’s lives.
How others react or respond usually has nothing to do with you.
That’s why you should make an effort to tell yourself more empowering stories.
It’s your mind anyway, you can believe anything that you want.
You might as well choose thoughts that make you feel good and support your goals.
If you want to know how to be more easy going, this is one of the best ways to do it.
2. Get Out Of Your Head
It’s easy to clam up if you assume that everyone is criticizing you.
In fact, this is a common problem that I see a lot with our clients in our social skills coaching program.
They’re always worried about what people might be thinking about them.
That’s why they stifle their personality to avoid looking bad and making any mistakes.
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If you want to know how to loosen up, you have to be able to take the focus away from yourself.
One of the best ways to do this is to follow your curiosity.
Get out of your head and put your attention on others instead.
Remember, every person that you interact with has knowledge and life experiences that are unique to them.
My advice is to view yourself as a student and see what you can learn from others.
The next time you talk to someone, be present and give them your undivided attention.
Imagine how good it feels when you know someone is truly listening to you?
It’s pretty awesome, right?
If you want to come across as an interesting person, you have to be interested in others first.
By doing so, you’ll make anybody you talk to feel special.
They’ll leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
3. Have A Sense Of Humor
Growing up in a traditional Asian family, having a sense of humor didn’t come naturally to me.
In fact, the majority of conversations that I had with my parents revolved around academic and career success.
That’s why I was so serious all the time.
If you can relate to that, you have to take the time to learn to be funny.
When you know how to make people laugh, you become a source of positive emotions.
You’ll be able to lighten up the mood in any situation and people will feel good when they’re around you.
If you’re wondering how to loosen up, you have to be able to tease others in a playful way.
Remember, this is not about putting people down to make yourself feel good.
It’s about being able to have witty comebacks but with positive intentions.
To help you with this, just imagine of how you would make fun of your close friends.
Use that same mindset during your interactions with anybody.
When you know how to banter well, you’ll raise your status in any group.
4. Embrace Your Quirks
Remember, the world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
If you want to figure out how to loosen up, you need to embrace your quirks.
Stop pretending to be someone that you’re not just to fit in.
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The truth is, it doesn’t matter who you are and what you do.
There’s no way you’ll be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.
Some will like you, some won’t and that’s totally okay.
Ironically, the less you care, the more charismatic you’ll appear to be.
If you’re wondering how to meet like-minded friends, you should focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
And then, find others who will like you for who you are.
By being authentic and speaking your truth, you’ll find the right relationships for you much faster.
5. Get Enough Sleep
I don’t know about you but I find it hard to be in a good mood if I’m sleep-deprived.
My mind is more susceptible to negative thoughts and I’m also very irritable.
If you want to know how to loosen up, make sure you’re always well-rested.
Try to get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep on a consistent basis.
To help you do this, I recommend you limit your caffeine intake later on during the day.
Get off your computer a few hours before your bedtime as well.
Instead, do something relaxing like reading a book or listening to music.
Also, you’ll want to train yourself to go to bed and wake up at the same time every single day.
By doing so, you’ll always be mentally sharp.
This will help you make better decisions which leads to more favorable outcomes.
6. Always Be Light-Hearted
Getting into an argument is the quickest way that I know to end any interaction.
If you want to figure out how to loosen up, avoid being so opinionated all the time.
Remember, everyone is entitled to their own unique perspectives.
That’s why you should never impose your ideas on others.
The thing is, you don’t even need to agree with them.
You just have to put yourself in their situation and see things from their point of view.
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When you make an effort to see where others are coming from, you’ll make them feel more seen, heard, and understood.
As a result, they’ll be a lot more open to hearing what you have to say which leads to a more productive conversation.
If you want to succeed socially, always be light-hearted, respect your differences and focus on finding commonalities instead.
By doing so, you’ll come across as more charismatic in any interaction.
I know for me, I’d rather be liked than be right all the time.
7. Have A Mindfulness Practice
At the end of the day, whatever you feel, others feel as well.
If you want people to be comfortable around you, you need to get good at managing your emotions.
If you can’t control how you feel, you might say or do things that you’ll regret later on.
The last thing you want is to damage your reputation and hurt your relationships with others.
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By meditating and journaling regularly, you’ll train your mind to disassociate from your thoughts.
That way, you can just observe them and not identify with them so closely.
This will help you reframe your limiting beliefs and choose more empowering thoughts instead.
If you do this long enough, you’ll train yourself to always remain cool, calm, and collected.
This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments.
By being able to manage your emotions, you’ll be able to interact with people better and connect with them faster.
8. Prepare As Much As You Can
If the thought of going to a social gathering terrifies you, then you need to mitigate the fear of the unknown.
If you want to learn how to loosen up, make sure you prepare ahead of time.
By doing so, you’ll feel less anxious and you’ll prevent yourself from canceling on events that you want to go to last minute.
To help you get started, do a bit of research on a particular get-together that you’re planning on going to.
Try to anticipate what topics might come up in conversation.
And then write out some stories that you can potentially share.
I would also encourage you to familiarize yourself with current events.
Find some reputable news websites and bookmark them.
Check out their social media accounts as well before you head out.
That way, you can stay up-to-date with trending topics.
When you do these things, you’ll feel more confident talking to anybody.
You’ll experience less approach anxiety and be able to participate in any group conversation.
9. Give Your Brain A Break
It’s hard to think rationally when your mind is all over the place.
If you want to know how to loosen up, you need to distract yourself.
Give your brain a break and take some time off from whatever it is that you’re thinking about.
I know for me, whenever I’m overthinking something, I like to hit the gym or go for a long walk.
Time and time again, I’m always in a much better headspace after getting some physical activity.
Whatever it is for you, I recommend you do something fun that you can immerse yourself in.
By removing yourself from your current situation and doing something else, you’ll be able to think more objectively.
This will help you analyze your situation better which will improve the way you feel.
10. Validate Yourself
Most individuals who are easily offended tend to have low self-esteem.
That’s why they seek approval from others because they don’t give it to themselves.
If you can relate to that, let me ask you a question.
How can you expect people to like you if you don’t feel good about who you are?
If you want to learn how to loosen up, you need to figure out how to like yourself more.
One of the best confidence-building exercises that I know is to focus on your positive traits.
Start making a list of what’s good about you and all the things you’ve accomplished so far.
By doing so, you’ll feel more self-assured.
You’ll appreciate yourself more and you’ll care less about what others think.
This will help you feel more at ease in any social situation which will allow you to show your true personality more.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to loosen up, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to get out of your head or develop a sense of humor?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.