Meeting people while you’re still in school is relatively easy.
Since you see the same individuals in different classes and activities, you naturally build a relationship with them.
But how do you do that after you’ve graduated and you’re out in the real world?
Today, we’re going to talk about how to make friends after college.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Leverage Your Existing Network
Learning how to meet like-minded friends is challenging enough as it is.
If you’re wondering how to have a social life after college, why not start with people you already know?
To get some quick wins, try asking for introductions from your existing network.
All you have to do is to reach out to your current connections.
Tell them what kind of people you’re looking to meet.
And then, ask them if they know anyone who fits that criteria.
Speaking from experience, I know this strategy works well.
In fact, when I moved from Calgary to live in Vancouver, I already had people who I could hang out with before I even got there.
Besides efficiency, there’s another benefit to getting introduced by a mutual connection.
Whoever you’re about to meet will already have a good impression of you already.
You’ll also have something to talk about right away which can ease the discomfort of interacting with a total stranger.
2. Like Yourself First
You’ll have a tough time connecting with others if you don’t feel good about who you are.
If you want to figure out how to make friends after college, you have to learn how to like yourself first.
Think about it.
How can you expect anybody to be drawn to you if you have low self-worth?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Remember, how you treat yourself will determine how others treat you as well.
That’s why you have to make an effort to think of what’s good about you.
In fact, focusing on your positive traits is one of the best confidence-building exercises you can ever do.
When you do this consistently, you’ll realize that you’re actually a pretty awesome person.
You’ll start to see yourself as someone worth getting to know.
As a result, you’ll be less intimidated by others and you’ll learn how to relax around people in any situation.
3. Avoid Isolating Activities
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
If you’re wondering how to make friends after college, avoid isolating yourself for too long.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and place to stay at home, watch Netflix and do nothing.
Personally, I like having my downtime.
But, if you currently have no social life, then make an effort to go out and interact with people more often.
Check out this podcast interview with Cam Adair, Founder of Game Quitters, where he talks about how to quit playing video games.
Remember, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.
How you spend it is up to you.
For now, I recommend you cut back on activities that don’t really support your social goals.
Remember, everything you want is outside of your comfort zone.
Otherwise, you would already have it.
To succeed socially, you have to keep an open mind and figure out how to put yourself out there.
You never know what types of adventures you can get into when you get out of the house.
4. Join A Social Group
At the end of the day, where you go to meet people makes a huge difference.
If you want to learn how to make friends after college, join groups that relate to things that you’re into.
Remember, mutual interest is the foundation of every great relationship.
Imagine how easy it is to strike up a conversation with someone who enjoys the same things as you?
For example, if you’re into fitness, sign up for a co-ed sports team.
If you like dancing, you can take partner-style classes like salsa.
You can also volunteer your time for causes that you believe in.
Do you see how that works?
If you’re not sure where to start, take a moment to review your hobbies and other interests.
If you don’t have any, then I highly recommend you get some.
Just ask yourself what’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn.
Look online to see what types of classes, events, and groups are available that are close to you.
I know it sounds obvious but in order to become an interesting person, you need to do more interesting things.
By doing so, you’ll become more fun to talk to and less boring to be around.
5. Have Things To Talk About
Running out of things to say is a common issue that I see a lot of shy introverts struggle with.
And because of that, they avoid people because they tend to have awkward silences during their interactions.
Either that or they just keep to themselves which makes them feel excluded in any group conversation.
If this sounds like you, then make sure you prepare ahead of time.
I mean, think about it.
If you tend to be quiet and reserved, why would you go to a gathering and not have anything to discuss with others?
If you want to figure out how to be more talkative, come up with stories to share.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be more talkative and avoid awkward silences.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to research the event you plan on attending.
And then, try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
I also recommend you stay up to date with trending topics, popular shows, and current events.
By doing these things, you’ll become more outspoken when you’re around people.
As a result, you’ll feel more noticed and included in any get togethers.
6. Go To The Same Places Regularly
If you want to know how to make friends after college, I recommend you pick a few spots that you like.
Become a regular and integrate yourself into those communities.
Personally, I tend to go to the same fitness centers, coffee shops, and restaurants.
If you do this over time, you’ll start to get to know the staff and other customers as well.
Since you run into each other so often, it’s only natural that you start a conversation with them, right?
The key to making this work is to not overthink things.
To break the ice with someone you want to meet, just mention that you see them all the time.
And then introduce yourself.
In fact, this is how I’ve met most of my close friends.
Again, if you want to create an active social life, connect with people that you see repeatedly during your daily routine.
Doing so is such an easy way to expand your network without having to put in more time and effort.
7. Make Friends Online
Technology has dramatically changed the way we interact with each other.
If you want to learn how to make friends after college, use this resource to your advantage.
If you do it correctly, you’ll be able to meet like-minded people much faster both locally and in other places as well.
To implement this, ask yourself what kind of individuals you would like to meet.
And then, pick a social media platform where most of them hang out.
Optimize your profile and communicate your personality through the types of content that you post.
And then, make an effort to reach out to people you want to connect with and engage with them.
Personally, I’ve met so many incredible people from social media.
Again, you just have to be intentional with how you use it.
That way, you don’t waste your time online without anything to show for.
8. Connect With Your Coworkers
If you have a full-time job, then you spend the majority of your waking hours at work.
That’s a big chunk of your life.
If you’re wondering how to make friends after college, you have to be able to get along well with the people you work with.
Not that long ago, I was talking to a software engineer who didn’t put any effort connecting with his peers.
He told me that doing so definitely capped his career potential in that company.
The worst part was he also didn’t have anybody to share his wins with because nobody liked him.
That being said, if you want to win people over very quickly, try to look for things in common.
Remember, we tend to be fond of those who are similar to us.
That’s why you want to increase the feelings of sameness whenever you interact with someone.
You can do this by asking open-ended questions, listening well, and sharing related stories.
The better you are at doing this, the more quality connections you’re going to make.
Not only will this will help you get promoted faster, you’ll also have a more enjoyable experience at work.
9. Host Your Own Events
A common struggle that I hear from shy introverts is that they don’t know how to turn strangers into friends.
As a result, they have lots of shallow interactions and very few meaningful relationships.
It frustrates them because they don’t feel as connected with others as they would like to.
If you can relate to that, you have to get good at taking the initiative.
Be the first one to reach out to people that you’ve met.
I know doing this feels uncomfortable because nobody likes getting turned down.
But, in order to create an active social life, you have to learn how to not take things personally.
Keep in mind that at any party, the host always has the highest social value.
That’s why you want to become the organizer within your group.
Doing this is a great way to keep in touch with your connections since you’re seeing lots of people all at once.
This is also how you get invited to other events.
Naturally, those who come to your get-togethers will want you to join them whenever they do something.
If you want to learn how to have a social life after college, this is one of the best ways to do it.
10. Don’t Be Discouraged
Remember, you’re supposed to be bad at something that you have no knowledge and experience in.
If you don’t know how to make friends after college, you have to manage your expectations.
If not, then you’ll be easily discouraged.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be outgoing as an introvert.
When you feel defeated, you’ll be less motivated to take action.
And if you don’t persevere, then nothing is going to change.
Your social life will not improve and you’ll be in the exact same situation a year from now.
To prevent this from happening to you, you have to be patient with yourself.
Anticipate that things will take time and that you’re going to make mistakes.
My advice is to just focus on the process instead of the outcome.
If you keep showing up and doing the work, it’s inevitable that you’ll learn how to build a social circle.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to make friends after college, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
Need More Help?
If you want to become outgoing as a techie introvert, our program might be a fit for you.