Developing your social life as an adult can be difficult.
But it can even be more challenging if you ruminate a lot and prefer to spend time by yourself.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to make friends as an introvert.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Plan Ahead Of Time
Remember, you become the average of the people you spend the most time with.
Eventually, their mindsets and behaviors will rub off on you.
That’s why you have to build your social circle intentionally.
To help you get started, you have to figure out the types of people you would like to meet first.
Once you’re clear about your social goals, start brainstorming.
Make a list of potential places where you’ll be able to find them.
And then, do some research online to see what’s happening around you.
If you’re not sure where to start, I recommend you look at Facebook events and find Meetup groups as well.
If you live in a major city, they typically have websites that promote what’s happening locally.
Once you find those, make sure you bookmark them and follow their social media accounts.
That way, you’ll be able to look for groups, events, and gatherings that interest you much easier.
If you don’t want to go to bars and clubs to socialize, you don’t have to.
You just need to plan ahead of time and be intentional with how you put yourself out there.
2. Accept Who You Are
Keeping a facade is very exhausting.
That’s why you shouldn’t pretend to be someone that you’re not.
If you want to know how to make friends as an introvert, you need to accept who you are.
Be courageous and let others see the real you.
Don’t be afraid to give them a glimpse of your inner world.
At the end of the day, you’re not going to be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.
The more authentic you are, the faster you’ll find the right relationships for you.
3. Keep In Touch With People
If you want to figure out how to make friends as an introvert, why not start with the people you already know?
Again, you’ll want to revisit your social goals.
And then, think of the individuals you’ve met in that past that you really clicked with.
See if you have their phone number or social media handle.
At this point, all you have to do is reach out to them.
Give them a call or send them a message to see how they’re doing.
If both of you live in the same city, see when they’re available to hang out.
Check out this video if you want to know how to have a social life when you have no friends.
Remember, building any type of relationship takes time.
That’s why keeping in touch with people you already know will give you some quick wins.
Since you already have some sort of rapport with them, all you have to do is to keep nurturing that friendship.
4. Ask For Introductions
Assuming you get along well with people in your network, chances are they might know other individuals that you’ll like as well.
If you’re wondering how to make friends as an introvert, tap into your current connections.
Let them know that you’re looking to meet more people with the same interests as you.
And then, ask them if they know anyone who they think you should connect with.
If they do, then ask for an introduction right away.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Meeting new people through your friends is a great way to figure out how to build a social circle.
Not only is it effective, it’s also very efficient as well.
Since a mutual connection brought both of you together, you’ll have some commonalities right away.
Remember, let go of your pride, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
There are people in your life who want to assist you but they can’t do that if you don’t tell them.
Nobody can read your mind so be assertive and communicate what you need to others.
5. Make The First Move
Making friends while you’re still in school is relatively easy.
You see the same people in different classes and extracurricular activities on a regular basis.
After a period of time, you naturally build a relationship with them.
But how do you do that when graduation is over and you’re out in the real world?
If that’s the case, you have to get good at talking to people you don’t know.
Check out this podcast interview with Nick Sparks, Founder of Sparks of Attraction, where he talks about how to approach anyone.
Unfortunately, those who suffer from social anxiety tend to imagine how bad things will go.
They exaggerate what failure looks like in their heads that it actually cripples them from even trying.
To prevent that from happening to you, lower the bar and make sure you start small.
You’ll want to gather as many positive reference experiences as you can.
That way, you can prove to yourself that nothing really bad ever happens when you interact with others.
For example, you can start just by asking strangers for time or direction.
Try making situational comments at coffee shops or at the grocery store.
And then, work on being able to hold a conversation for a few minutes.
Do you see how that works?
If you want to figure out how to be social as an introvert, take the smallest action that you feel comfortable doing.
Whatever you do, avoid overcomplicating things because that will prevent you from getting started and making progress.
6. Appear More Friendly
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being reserved and quiet.
But if you also look unfriendly, then you might be pushing people away unintentionally.
Think about it.
Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have their arms crossed, and has a frown on their face?
Probably not, right?
Remember, we all make snap judgments about people right away based on what we see.
If you want to learn how to make friends as an introvert, you have to know how to be approachable.
That being said, make sure you present yourself well by improving your style and working on your grooming.
Have an open body language by standing up straight, making eye contact, and smiling.
By taking your appearance more seriously, you’ll give off a great first impression.
When people like you right away, your interactions will go a lot smoother.
7. Meet People Strategically
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
If you want to know how to make friends as an introvert, you have to limit activities that isolate you for too long.
What I recommend you do is to look at your schedule.
And then figure out how to integrate meeting new people in your day-to-day life.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, go to a trendy coffee shop.
Join a fitness class instead of working out by yourself.
Have lunch with your co-workers instead of eating alone in your cubicle.
As you can see, learning how to make friends as an introvert doesn’t have to be complicated.
By thinking outside of the box, you can meet more people in a way that suits your personality.
8. Use Social Media
If you’re wondering how to make friends as an introvert, you’ll definitely want to use the internet.
Personally, I’ve met a lot of incredible people on social media.
Most of those connections have turned into deep and meaningful in-person relationships as well.
As mentioned before, go over your social goals to identify the type of people you want to meet.
And then, figure out where you’ll find them online.
Do they hang out in Facebook groups?
Which Instagram hashtags are they using?
Are they active on LinkedIn?
Whichever platform you use, make sure your profile is an accurate representation of you.
For starters, you need to have recent and quality photos.
Also, try to communicate your personality through the types of content that you put out there.
At this point, be proactive and start reaching out to others.
You can do this by commenting on something specific about their profile and their interests as well.
Once you’ve exchanged a few messages, see if they’d be open to hopping on a video call.
9. Take Up A New Hobby
I know it sounds obvious but in order to become a more interesting person, you need to do more interesting things.
If you want to know how to make friends as an introvert, take up a new hobby with a social component to it.
That way, you get to learn a new skill while meeting like-minded people at the same time.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
For example, you can join a co-ed volleyball group.
You can sign up for kickboxing.
You can take any partner-style dance classes like salsa.
Imagine how easy it is to strike up a conversation with someone who enjoys the same things as you?
If you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself what’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn.
Look online to see what types of classes, events, and groups are available.
Once you find ones that you like, sign up immediately and put in on your calendar.
10. Improve Your Social Skills
If you’re a shy introvert and you struggle to interact with people, you’re probably just unaware and inexperienced.
If you think about it, it’s not like they teach you this stuff in school or at home, right?
It’s no surprise that we get a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers to join our social skills coaching program.
Most of them have spent way too much time acquiring technical skills.
That’s why they never developed their communication skills.
Check out this video if you want to know how to develop social skills as an introvert.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for education to help you advance professionally.
But if you’re willing to invest time and money in your career, why wouldn’t you do the same to help you connect with others?
If you want to learn how to make friends as an introvert, you have to educate yourself on how to be more socially confident.
You can read books about it, listen to podcasts, and watch videos around this topic.
And then, do what you can to implement the things that you’re learning on a regular basis.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll also have someone give you feedback and keep you accountable as well.
Get this part of your life handled and hire someone who knows what they’re doing.
Remember, you talk to people every single day.
If you’re socially inept, you’re severely handicapping yourself from living your life to the fullest.
That’s why improving your social skills is one of the best things you can ever do.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to make friends as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to keep in touch with people or ask for introductions?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.