If you have nothing else going on for you other than your job, then something needs to change.
Remember, as human beings, we’re meant to be around each other.
That’s why you need to figure out how to make friends outside of work.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Improve Your Social Skills
Growing up in a traditional Asian family, I was led to believe that if I went to school, got good grades, and got a good job, then I’ll be successful.
Later on, I learned that advice is only half true.
To live a happier and more fulfilling life, having technical skills just isn’t enough.
You need to be able to build rapport with others as well.
Check out this video if you want to know how to develop social skills as an introvert.
If you’re struggling socially and you never learned how to make friends outside of work, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.
That being said, it is your responsibility to get this part of your life handled.
At the end of the day, becoming more socially adept is just like any other skill.
It’s no different than playing a new sport or learning an instrument.
To help you get started, you can read books listen to podcasts, and watch videos on how to be more outgoing.
And then, do what you can to implement the things that you’re learning on a regular basis.
But if you want to get results much faster, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
You need to learn from someone who used to be where you’re at and has the results that you want right now.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll also receive valuable feedback and get accountability as well.
With the right information, enough practice, and expert guidance, anybody can become socially savvy.
2. Avoid Isolating Activities
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with watching television and playing video games.
They can be a good way to decompress, especially after a long day from work.
But if you want to know how to have a social life, you have to limit activities that isolate you for too long.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
At the end of the day, learning how to build a social circle is still going to be a number’s game.
The more you go out, the more people you’ll potentially meet.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to add a social component to things that you already do.
That way, you can integrate meeting new people into your day-to-day life.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, join a book club.
You can also sign up for a group fitness class or find a hiking meetup group.
That way, you can meet like-minded people while getting some exercise.
As you can see, with a little bit of creativity, you can expand your network very quickly with not a whole lot of effort.
3. Use Social Media Intentionally
If you’re wondering how to make friends outside of work, you’ll definitely want to leverage the internet.
Personally, I’ve met a lot of incredible people on social media.
Most of those connections have turned into deep and meaningful in-person relationships as well.
To help you with this, you need to go over your social goals first.
Take the time to identify the type of people that you would like to meet.
And then, you need to figure out where you’ll find them online.
From my experience, I’ve met some amazing people from Facebook, LinkedIn, and even Instagram.
Whichever platform you use, just remember that making friends online is exactly the same as doing it in person.
For starters, make sure your profile gives off a great impression of you.
You can show your personality through the types of posts, images, and videos that you share.
And then, proactively reach out to people you want to connect with and interact with them.
Once you’ve exchanged a few messages, see if they’d be open to jumping on a video call.
4. Make The First Move
Most people who struggle socially tend to be too passive.
They’re waiting for others to start a conversation with them which usually doesn’t happen.
If you want to learn how to make friends outside of work, you have to get good at making the first move.
Your ability to start a conversation with someone you don’t know will help you create a more active social life.
That’s why you can’t keep playing it safe.
In order to get more of what you want, you have to step outside of your comfort zone.
You have to develop your courage and conquer your fear of talking to strangers.
To help you manage your approach anxiety, follow the three-second rule.
The next time you see someone you want to talk to, count to three and make a move immediately.
Keep your opener simple and introduce yourself right away.
The more you do this, the more abundant your social life is going to be.
5. Learn New Things
I know it sounds obvious but in order to become a more interesting person, you need to do more interesting things.
If you want to figure out how to make friends outside of work, you need to take up new hobbies.
Check out this podcast interview with Mani Vaya, Founder of 2000 Books, where he talks about the importance of educating yourself.
As mentioned before, ideally, you’ll partake in something with a built-in social component to it.
That way, you get to learn a new skill and connect with individuals with the same interests as you.
If you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself what’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn.
Look online to see what types of classes, events, and groups are available.
Once you find ones that you like, sign up immediately.
Put it on your calendar, clear up your schedule, and commit to going.
6. Present Yourself Well
If you want to know how to make friends outside of work, you need to take your appearance seriously.
As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to create a great first impression.
That’s why you have to pay attention to how you’re coming across.
To help you get started, put some effort into the way you dress.
Make sure you wear clothes that are clean and well-fitting.
Remember to groom yourself properly as well.
Also, make sure you have an open body language the next time you interact with someone.
Whatever you do, avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Stand up straight, maintain proper eye contact, and have a genuine smile on your face.
By learning how to be more approachable, people will assume positive things about you.
They’ll take what you have to say more seriously which will help you build rapport with them much faster.
7. Work From A Cafe Or Coworking Space
For over 10 years, I’ve been running my entire operation just from my laptop.
Speaking from experience, you can still create an active social life even if you work remotely.
To help you with this, you need to identify which tasks you can do that don’t require you to be at home.
Once you have that list, get out of the house and do your work at a coffee shop or a co-working space.
Another thing that you can do is to meet up with other friends who also do their jobs remotely.
That way, you can maintain your connections and be productive at the same time.
Like I said earlier, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
So avoid isolating yourself as much as you can.
If you’re willing to put in the effort, you can still create quality connections even if you work remotely.
All it takes is a little bit of planning.
8. Be Interested In Others
Most individuals who struggle socially tend to ruminate a lot.
They’re so in their heads that they’re actually not present during their interactions.
If you want to deepen your relationship with others, make sure you practice being a good listener.
Give the person you’re with your full and undivided attention.
Get out of your head, be present, and really try to understand what they’re sharing with you.
When you do, you’ll improve your connection with whoever you talk to.
You’ll make them feel more seen, heard, and understood.
You’ll become memorable to them and you’ll stand out in a good way.
Not to mention, you’ll be able to come up with the right things to say much easier when you’re in the moment.
9. Volunteer For Causes You Believe In
If you’re wondering how to make friends outside of work, volunteering is another good way to do it.
From my experience, you’ll meet some of the nicest and most generous people out there when you do this.
To help you get started, review your social goals again.
And then choose an organization, that aligns with them.
To give you an example from my own life, I love anything that has to do with business, spirituality, and personal development.
That’s why I volunteer my time to help out local causes, movements, and events around those topics.
Also, if you have a particular skill that you’re good at, see if there’s a place where you can teach that.
Doing so will help you expand your network much faster while making a difference in other people’s lives.
That’s why volunteering is such a great way to meet like-minded people while giving back to your community.
I highly recommend you give it a shot and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
10. Don’t Take Anything Personally
The fear of rejection holds most people back from putting themselves out there.
First of all, you have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
The next time someone does turn you down, remind yourself that it’s not about you.
If you think about it, they barely know who you are.
Check out this video if you want to know how to stop overthinking social interactions.
Maybe they were having a bad day when you tried talking to them.
I know for myself, I’m not in a social mood if I’m not feeling all that great.
That’s why you should always be empathetic.
Put yourself in other people’s situations and see where they’re coming from.
The more risks you’re willing to take, the faster you’ll succeed socially.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to make friends outside of work, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
Need More Help?
If you want to become outgoing as a techie introvert, our program might be a fit for you.