Would you like to connect with more people but you feel uncomfortable in social situations?
If so, then you need to figure out how to make friends when you are socially awkward.
Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to feel less self-conscious and relaxed around people.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Recall Previous Success
Most individuals who struggle socially have a bad habit of remembering past failures.
They replay it in their heads repeatedly that’s why they don’t feel good about themselves.
Remember, your thoughts affect your emotions.
A negative feeling is a sign that you’re focusing on something that’s making you feel bad.
If you’re wondering how to make friends when you are socially awkward, stop beating yourself up mentally.
Check out this podcast interview with Jonny Dupre, Founder of Process Your Potential, where he talks about how to eliminate your limiting beliefs.
Make a conscious effort to control the way you think.
Whenever you make a mistake, do your best to learn from it.
Once you’ve done that, just brush it off and move on.
You don’t need to keep dwelling on it.
Ruminating too much is not productive and is not good for your mental health.
If you’re wondering how to be more socially confident, try to remember as many positive interactions that you’ve had in the past.
By doing so, you’ll realize that you’re not doing as bad as you might’ve assumed.
The more you do this, the more you’ll put yourself out there and take risks.
Over time, you’ll get rid of your self-doubt and learn how to be more outspoken around people.
2. Plan Ahead Of Time
It’s totally normal to fear the unknown.
That being said, if you want to know how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you need to plan ahead of time.
That way, you don’t bail on events that you want to attend last minute.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
You can mitigate your fears by researching the social gathering that you want to go to.
Try to anticipate what most people might be talking about and come up with some stories that you can share.
You can also familiarize yourself with trending topics and stay up-to-date with current events.
The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be talking to anybody.
You’ll be able to add value to any conversation which will make you feel more included.
As a result, you’ll be able to build rapport with others much faster and you’ll have a great time at any get-together.
3. Sit With The Feeling
Most people who struggle socially have a hard time controlling their emotions.
If you want to learn how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you have to have to get good at managing how you feel.
At the end of the day, it’ll be hard to come across as someone charismatic if you feel tense while you’re talking to someone.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming if you have social anxiety.
That being said, just know that emotions come and go.
This is where having a mindfulness practice comes into play.
Every morning, I recommend you start your day by having a quiet moment to be with yourself.
Also, get in the habit of writing down your thoughts on paper instead of keeping them in your head.
By doing so, you’ll prevent yourself from overthinking all the time.
When you meditate and journal regularly, you’ll be able to slow down your mind and relax your body.
You’ll begin to notice your thoughts without the need to act on any of them.
That way, you’ll be able to recognize whatever limiting beliefs that you have.
You’ll be able to reframe them and tell yourself more empowering stories instead.
It’s your mind anyway, you can fill it with anything that you want.
You might as well choose thoughts that make you feel good and that support your goals.
4. Tell Good Stories
Personally, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Most of them struggle socially because they just don’t know any better.
If that sounds like you and you’re wondering how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you have to be able to communicate effectively.
In order to do that, you have to know how to tell good stories.
That being said, the next time you share something, make sure you structure it well.
Set up your story properly by giving some background and creating contrast if it applies.
Make sure you use descriptive words in order to engage the senses.
Leave out unnecessary facts and emphasize how things make you feel instead.
And then, release the tension that you’ve built up when you make your point.
When you do these things, you’ll make whatever you share sound really interesting.
You’ll come across as a captivating storyteller and you’ll have more engaging interactions with whoever you talk to.
5. Ask More Open-Ended Questions
Have you ever been in a situation where your conversation felt like an interview?
You’re just asking one question after the other and the interaction just feels forced?
If so, then you were probably asking closed-ended questions which require one-word answers.
If you want to know how to make friends when you are socially awkward, avoid doing this at all costs.
Instead, make an effort to ask more open-ended questions.
For example, instead of asking “Do you like your job?” you can ask “What do you like the most about your job?”
Do you see the difference?
The first one can be answered with “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.
By doing so, you and the person you’re talking to will have more information to work with.
As a result, your interactions will feel more effortless.
You’ll learn how to keep a conversation going and prevent having any awkward silences.
6. Take The Attention Away From Yourself
People who don’t feel comfortable in social situations are always in their heads.
They’re constantly wondering what others might be thinking about them.
If you want to figure out how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you need to shift your focus.
Take the attention away from yourself and put it on others instead.
The best way to do this is to view yourself as a student and be interested in learning about others.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be likeable as an introvert.
Follow your curiosity and really try and get to know the person you’re talking to.
The truth is we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we like people who like us.
That being said, the next time you interact with someone, be there fully and give them your undivided attention.
Be present and really try to see where they’re coming from.
Actively listen and encourage them to share more.
By doing these things, you’ll make anybody you’ll talk to feel special.
You’ll stand out in a good way and people will look forward to seeing you again.
7. Work On Your Delivery
The majority of your communication is non-verbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
If you want to know how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you have to improve your delivery.
The next time you talk to someone, raise your energy slightly and try to speak a bit louder.
Use your hands to accentuate what you’re saying and vary your tonality as well.
Doing these things will definitely help you hold people’s attention better.
If you’re not used to speaking in this manner, you just have to keep at it.
Eventually, it’ll become a natural part of how you communicate.
8. Don’t Compromise Your Values
Most individuals who struggle socially tend to seek approval from others too much.
That’s why they stifle their personality and try way too hard to fit in.
Keep in mind that nobody likes people who are fake.
If you’re wondering how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you have to stay true to yourself.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
Remember, there are billions of people in the world.
You don’t need to compromise your values just to be accepted by others.
No matter how hard you try, there’s no way you’ll be able to get along with everybody.
Some people will like you, some won’t and that’s totally okay.
My advice for you is to just focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
The more authentic you are, the faster you’ll find the right relationships for you.
9. Make An Effort To Socialize
If you want to figure out how to make friends when you are socially awkward, you can’t keep playing it safe.
You need to step outside of your comfort zone and learn how to put yourself out there.
That’s why whatever you do, avoid any activities that isolate you for too long.
You need to fight the urge to do what’s comfortable.
Instead, you’ll want to create as many opportunities as you can to interact with people.
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
For now, I recommend you cut back on watching television and playing video games.
As intimidating as it could be, accept all valid invitations from others.
Always keep an open mind and try things you normally wouldn’t.
Face your social fears and do the things that scare you.
The more you do, the more courageous you’re going to become.
You’ll prove to yourself that you’re capable of going for things that you want if you set your mind to it.
As a result, you’ll improve your self-image and raise your self-esteem as well.
10. Keep A Journal
Seeing progress is very motivating.
If you want to know how to make friends when you are socially awkward, I suggest you keep a journal.
That way, you can keep track of how you’re doing socially.
You’ll also be able to see tangible results that you’ve achieved after a period of time.
Implementing this is actually very simple.
When you get come from any social gathering, take a moment to reflect.
Identify what you did well and what you’re going to do differently for next time.
That way, you can be more strategic with how you go about things.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll have someone give you feedback and keep you accountable as well.
Remember, you talk to people every single day.
The better your social skills are, the more doors will open up for you.
Not only will you make new friends, you’ll also attract a quality partner and advance in your career as well.
That’s why becoming socially adept is one of the best things you can ever do.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to make friends when you are socially awkward, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on recalling previous success or on telling good stories?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.