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By Myke Macapinlac

How To Make New Friends In Your 20s As An Introvert

If you want to feel happier and more fulfilled, you need to know how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert.

I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to build a social circle from scratch as an adult.

What You'll Learn In This Post

  • Is It Hard To Make Friends In Your 20s?
  • How To Make Friends In Your 20s As An Introvert
    • 1. Make Socializing A Priority
    • 2. Join Social Groups
    • 3. Be The First One To Reach Out
    • 4. Get Out Of The House
    • 5. Meet People On Social Media
    • 6. Stop Ruminating All The Time
    • 7. Connect With Your Coworkers
    • 8. Go To The Same Places Repeatedly
    • 9. Always Be Reliable
    • 10. See The Best In Others
  • Conclusion

Is It Hard To Make Friends In Your 20s?

Making friends in your 20s can be challenging if you’re shy, socially awkward, or introverted.

On top of that, your current connections are most likely starting to relocate for school or work and are also now getting into more long-term relationships as well.

They now have less time which makes keeping in touch with them difficult.

And if you don’t stay on top of things, the next thing you know, you don’t have a lot of people to spend time with.

How To Make Friends In Your 20s As An Introvert

1. Make Socializing A Priority

Back when you were in school, you tend to run into similar people repeatedly.

That’s why it was so easy to build a relationship with them.

Unfortunately, figuring out how to make friends after college isn’t as straightforward.

You now have more responsibilities and you’re pressured to do well in your career.

Not to mention, your current connections have either moved to a different area, settled down, or are now too busy.

If you’re wondering how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, you have to prioritize it.

Being busy is not an excuse.

Check out this video if you want to become more outgoing as an introvert.

YouTube Video

The thing is, you can say you want to meet more people.

But if all you do is go to work, go home and binge on Netflix, then something needs to change.

Remember, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.

How you spend it is up to you.

For now, cut back on any activities that don’t really contribute to your social goals.

Keep in mind that building any type of relationship takes time.

That’s why you need to open up your schedule and create space to connect with others.

Remember, your social life isn’t going to magically sort itself out so make sure you put some effort into it.

2. Join Social Groups

If you want to learn how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, where you go to meet people makes a huge difference.

This is especially true if you’re a shy introvert.

Since you have limited energy to socialize, you have to be strategic with how you put yourself out there.

If not, then you’ll burn out and you won’t have anything to show for your efforts.

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My advice is for you to join groups that relate to things that you’re into.

If you’re not sure where to start, take a moment to review your hobbies and other interests.

You can also ask yourself what’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn.

And then, do your research online based on that.

See what types of classes, events, and groups are available that are close to you.

From my experience, the best way to meet like-minded friends is to do more things that you enjoy and connect with others along the way.

Doing so will ensure that you build a quality social circle filled with individuals that you’re excited to spend time with.

3. Be The First One To Reach Out

Those who struggle socially make the mistake of always waiting for others to reach out to them.

But if you want to have more meaningful relationships, you have to take the initiative.

I know doing this feels uncomfortable because you risk the chance of getting turned down.

That’s why you have to learn how to not take things personally.

Here’s me catching up with a good friend.

That being said, schedule time regularly to text people and give them a call.

You can touch base with them on social media and invite them out when you organize any get-togethers.

When you do this consistently, you’ll have a reliable way of nurturing people in your network.

As a result, you’ll have deeper connections with those around you and you’ll feel a lot more fulfilled.

4. Get Out Of The House

As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.

Due to the nature of their jobs, they spend a lot of time in isolation.

Because they’re paid based on their technical expertise, they’re not really required to be social.

That’s why they just sit in front of the computer all day and stay in their apartments.

If this sounds like you, I want to remind you that building a social circle is still going to be a number’s game.

Nothing is going to happen if you don’t leave your house.

I know it sounds obvious but the more you go out, the more people you’ll potentially meet.

For example, if you work remotely, I highly recommend you go to a coffee shop or join a coworking space.

That way, you give yourself the opportunity to interact with people and be productive at the same time.

You can also sign up for a group fitness class instead of working out by yourself.

That way, you can still socialize with others while getting some exercise.

Again, if you’re wondering how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, you have to put yourself out there often.

The more you do, the faster you’ll build your network.

5. Meet People On Social Media

Personally, I’ve met a lot of awesome people online.

Most of those connections have turned into amazing in-person relationships as well.

If you want to know how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, you’ll want to leverage social media.

This will help you create quality connections not just locally but in other cities as well.

Check out this podcast interview with Pablo Rosario, Relationship Coach, where he talks about how to make friends on social media.

To help you with this, take a moment to identify what types of people you would like to meet.

And then, pick a platform where most of them hang out.

In any case, make sure your profile is an accurate representation of you.

For starters, you need to have a recent and quality headshot.

Try to express your personality through the types of content that you share as well.

And then, proactively reach out to others and have a conversation with them.

Once you’ve built some rapport, you can either jump on a video call or schedule time to hang out in real life.

It’s really that simple and you don’t need to overcomplicate this whole process.

6. Stop Ruminating All The Time

The fear of being judged holds most people back from putting themselves out there.

They’re so worried about the opinions of others that’s why they just keep to themselves.

If that sounds like you, imagine what kind of life you’re going to have?

I can assure you that you’ll always feel left out and you’ll have lots of regrets.

Check out this video if you want to stop being shy and overcome social anxiety.

YouTube Video

If you want to figure out how to be less self-conscious, you have to manage your expectations.

The reality is, nobody is paying attention to you as you might assume.

To prove my point, let me ask you a question.

Do you remember the last time someone did or said something embarrassing in front of you?

Unless it was recent or something really bad happened, you probably don’t right?

If you’re wondering how to get better at socializing, stop overthinking all the time.

By doing so, you’ll figure out how to relax around people and act more like yourself in any situation.

7. Connect With Your Coworkers

Not that long ago, I was talking to a software engineer who was interested in signing up for our social skills coaching program.

He said that for the longest time, he just focused on his work and didn’t put any effort connecting with his peers.

Later on, he realized what a mistake that was.

He mentioned that he often got passed up on promotions because not many people liked him.

He was also excluded from the group and often felt like an outsider.

If you want to learn how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, you have to get along well with your coworkers.

To do this effectively, you have to figure out how to relate to people.

By doing so, you’ll have a more enjoyable time at work.

You also increase the chance of getting into a leadership position.

When you’re socially savvy, you’ll advance in your career much faster and make more money as well.

8. Go To The Same Places Repeatedly

If you want to know how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, I recommend you pick a few spots that you like.

Go there frequently and become a regular.

Since you’ll see the same people over and over again, building rapport with them becomes so easy.

All you have to do is to make the first move, mention that you see them often, and then introduce yourself.

Personally, I tend to go to the same fitness centers, coffee shops, and restaurants.

After a while, I started getting to know the people who work there and other customers as well.

In fact, this is how I’ve met most of my close friends.

This is also the exact same thing that I did when I was figuring out how to make friends in a new city.

Speaking from experience, becoming a regular at a few places is such an easy and efficient way to grow your network.

It doesn’t take any more time or effort from you because you’re just connecting with people that you see during your daily routine.

9. Always Be Reliable

Remember, trust develops quickly when people know what to expect from you.

If you’re wondering how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, make sure you keep your promises.

Don’t say one thing and do something else.

For example, let’s say someone invited you out to a party.

If you confirmed that you’re going, then make sure you show up.

Avoid being flaky and always follow through on your plans.

If you’re inconsistent, then people won’t know what to count on you for.

As a result, they’ll be less likely to reach out in the future.

They’re not going to invest any more time and effort getting to know you.

Again, in order to build closer friendships, say what you mean and mean what you say.

10. See The Best In Others

At the end of the day, you have no clue what’s really going on in people’s lives.

That’s why you should never make things about you.

If you want to figure out how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, avoid making negative assumptions.

For example, I had a friend who I didn’t hear from for a long time.

He never picked up my calls or replied to any of my text messages.

At first, I felt really annoyed.

But then, I found out that he had a loved one passed away.

He was going through a grieving period and just wanted some time to be with himself.

After learning about this, my perspective about the situation totally shifted.

That’s why you should always clarify whatever it is that you’re unsure about.

If you want lifelong relationships, make an effort to see the best in others.

By doing so, they’ll do the same to you as well.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to make new friends in your 20s as an introvert, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.

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Filed Under: Friendship

About Myke Macapinlac

Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant from the Philippines who moved to Canada at 17.

After graduating from school, he got a job as a structural designer for a prestigious engineering company.

Even though he was technically skilled, he was often overlooked because he had no idea how to interact with people.

Tired of always missing out, he started working on his social and communication skills back in 2004.

After many years of getting mentored by some of the best coaches and having thousands of conversations with strangers, he finally developed his social confidence.

In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted professionals get out of their heads, have things to say, and speak up in groups.

He also writes articles, makes YouTube videos, and records podcast episodes on the same topics.

These days, he's in a happy long-term relationship with a quality partner and has built an active social life filled with like-minded individuals.

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