If you tend to have awkward silences when you interact with people, then you need to know how to never run out of things to say.
Today, I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to keep a conversation going with anybody.
If you implement my advice, you’ll feel a lot more confident in any social situation.
What You'll Learn In This Post
Why Do You Always Run Out Of Things To Say?
If you’re wondering why you always run out of things to say, it’s because you have low self-esteem.
Let me explain.
I’m not proud to admit it but I really struggled to interact with people when I was a lot younger.
This issue became even more apparent when my family and I immigrated to Canada from the Philippines.
Back then, I barely spoke English.
I also felt inadequate compared to other white people.
That’s why I did everything that I could to avoid social situations.
That way, I don’t make a fool of myself.
But, after doing that for a while, I felt really lonely and depressed.
That’s when I made a decision to take control of this part of my life.
One of the things that I did to figure out how to be more outgoing was to observe those who are socially savvy.
From what I’ve noticed, what makes them charismatic is the way they talk about themselves.
They just say what’s on their mind and they’re not overly concerned about how they’re coming across.
Check out this podcast interview with Dave Bowen, Founder of Irreverent Gent, where he talks about how to boost self-confidence.
That’s why you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to appear perfect.
Ironically, trying way too hard has the opposite effect.
Instead of people liking you, you end up coming across as more awkward.
That being said, the next time you talk to someone, remove whatever expectations that you have.
Just relax, let loose, and be open to any outcome.
Instead of trying to impress others, just focus on expressing yourself.
By keeping this perspective in mind, you’ll figure out how to be less self-conscious in any social situation.
You’ll feel a lot more at ease being around people and you’ll be able to show your true personality more.
How Do You Talk Endlessly About Anything?
If you’ve ever wondered how you talk endlessly about anything, you have to be able to relate to others.
You see, as a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of introverted engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
A common struggle that they all have is that they can’t maintain their conversation with those around them.
They experience a lot of awkward lulls during their interactions which makes them avoid social situations.
And from what I’ve noticed, it’s because they keep making the same mistake.
Most of them tend to think in a very logical way whenever they’re talking to someone.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
For example, let’s say they’re chatting with their coworkers.
If that’s the case, it’s easy for them to keep the conversation going because they have their career as something in common.
The problem happens when they have to talk to someone who does something completely different than them.
To illustrate my point, let’s say you’re a software engineer and you’re chatting with someone who’s into photography.
If you don’t know anything about that topic, what’s the best way to keep the conversation going?
All you have to do is to ask the other person their motivation for why they do what they do.
You can ask them how they got into it and how that hobby makes them feel.
From then on, try to think of a specific experience that you’ve had in the past that made you feel the same way as well.
Does that make sense?
Again, if you want to know how to never run out of things to say, you have to get good at relating to others emotionally.
Not to mention, when you know how to do this, you’ll be able to build rapport with a wider range of people.
As a result, you’ll have a more enjoyable time at any event or gathering that you go to.
How Do You Always Come Up With Things To Say?
1. Do Some Preparation
Recently, I went to a networking event so I can meet new people.
I remember seeing this one guy there and I couldn’t help but feel really bad for him.
He sat at a corner by himself and he just scrolled through his phone.
Earlier on, I did notice him make attempts to talk to other attendees.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t get past the initial chit chat that’s why his interactions didn’t last that long.
I saw him get uncomfortable which made the person that he was speaking with feel uneasy as well.
After this happened a few times, that’s when he gave up and started to use social media to distract himself.
If you can relate to that and you’re wondering how to never run out of things to say, you need to prepare ahead of time.
Do a bit of research by looking up the get-together that you plan on attending.
And then brainstorm some topics that might come up during your interactions.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be talkative and have things to talk about.
For example, if you’re going to a house party, go on Instagram and try to learn more about the organizers.
If you’re heading to a conference, search for the speakers on LinkedIn and read what they’ve posted recently.
If you’re going to a topic-specific meetup group, get familiar with the insider language that they use.
Do you see how that works?
Look, I get it, doing this sounds like extra work.
But, trust me when I say that this is really going to help you out.
By doing some research and coming up with things that you can talk about, you’ll have an easier time connecting with others.
You’ll also be able to think of topics to discuss very quickly which will make you appear more socially confident.
2. Become More Observant
The last time I had coffee with one of my really good friends, I saw that he was wearing a really cool jacket.
So, I asked him where he got it from.
He told me that he bought it from a vintage store while he was in Japan.
I mentioned to him that I’ve never been there before and I asked him about his experience.
And then, we talked about other countries that we’ve both been to as well.
This went on for hours and our whole conversation just felt so effortless.
And all of that happened simply because I made a comment about my friend’s jacket.
That being said if you want to figure out how to never run out of things to say, you need to shift your focus.
Stop thinking about yourself all the time.
Instead, make a conscious effort to get out of your head and be more present.
The key to making this work is to become more observant.
Pay close attention to what’s happening around you.
By doing so, you’ll be able to come up with topics to discuss on the spot which will make you more enjoyable to spend time with.
3. Do Novel Activities
Recently, I worked with a client who just moved to a new city for their career.
He got a job as a researcher and he happens to be from a totally different country as well.
The main issue that he was having was that he can’t seem to connect with the people that he works with.
He told me that they were talking about things that he has no knowledge or experience in.
As a result, he avoids hanging out with them after work which prevents him from building a deeper connection with them.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If this sounds like you, I want to remind you that variety is the spice of life.
You’ll have a difficult time relating to others if you do the same activities over and over again.
If you want to figure out how to never run out of things to say, try to keep an open mind.
Break your routine and schedule time to do novel things.
Doing this doesn’t have to be anything difficult or complicated.
For example, you can explore a part of your city that you haven’t been to yet.
You can take up a hobby that you’ve never tried before.
You can also attend a conference from a completely different industry.
Not only will doing any of these things make your life more exciting, you’ll also become a more interesting person.
When you do novel activities more often, you’ll have something to say about many different things.
As a result, you’ll become more fun to talk to and less boring to be around.
4. Keep Educating Yourself
If you want to know how to never run out of things to say, you need to feed your mind with valuable information all the time.
By doing so, you’ll always have something noteworthy to discuss with others.
Speaking from experience, I know this to be true.
Personally, I’m a big fan of audiobooks.
I listen to them while I’m buying groceries, during my commute, or when I’m cleaning my place.
It’s a great way for me to acquire useful knowledge and I get to make the most out of any downtime that I have.
So, whenever I happen to meet someone new or I’m catching up with an old friend, I have lots of interesting tidbits to share with them.
I can reference something that I learned from an audiobook during our conversation which adds a lot of value to our relationship.
So whether you like reading physical books, watching YouTube videos, or listening to podcasts, just make sure you’re always learning helpful things.
Doing so will teach you valuable skills which will make you more confident and increase your status as well.
5. Bring Up Previous Topics
One of the biggest things that I do to help our clients in our social skills coaching program is to role-play with them.
We’ll re-enact a certain social situation that they had issues with in the past.
Time and time again, the reason why most of them struggle socially is because they approach their interactions in a very linear way.
That’s why their conversations stall and don’t go anywhere.
If you want to learn how to never run out of things to say, you have to know how to pivot.
Feel free to go back to a topic that was mentioned before.
For example, let’s say you’re chatting with someone and they mentioned that they do Muay Thai.
You thought it was cool and you’re curious about it.
If that’s the case, feel free to bring that up again.
You can say something like “Hey not to sound random but you mentioned earlier that you do May Thai. How did you get into it?”
And then, be genuinely interested and keep asking follow-up questions.
You can say things like “Tell me more about that?” or “What’s that like?”
By doing so, you encourage the person you’re interacting with to share more.
And then, whenever you feel like you’re getting close to the end of that subject, go back to something that was mentioned earlier and repeat this process all over again.
The key here is to be a good listener and really pay attention to what the other person is saying.
When you’re genuinely curious about others, you’ll come across a lot more charismatic as well.
Conclusion
If you want to learn how to never run out of things to say, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on being more relatable or on bringing up previous topics?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.