Being shy and quiet can really hold you back from living a more fulfilling life.
That’s why today, we’re going to discuss how to put yourself out there.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to feel less self-conscious and have better conversation skills.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Study Charismatic People
Most individuals who struggle socially lack awareness and experience interacting with others.
They literally just don’t know any better.
But just like any other skill, you can learn how to be more socially confident.
You just need the right plan, enough practice, and expert guidance.
What better way to figure out how to put yourself out there than by studying charismatic people?
Make sure you observe them, pay attention to how they think and how they do things.
By doing so, you’ll learn how to be more likeable very quickly.
If at all possible, be around them as much as you can and aspire to emulate them.
Remember, you become the average of the people you spend the most time with.
That’s why you have to be mindful of the company you keep.
Eventually, you’ll adopt the beliefs and behaviors of those who you’re around with frequently.
2. Accept Valid Invitations
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone.
Every now and then, I think it’s a good idea to stay at home, watch a movie or read a good book.
But if you want to learn how to put yourself out there, you have to limit activities that isolate you for too long.
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
If you currently have no social life, you need to make an effort to go out and meet more people.
As intimidating as it could be, say “yes” and accept all valid invitations from others.
Keep an open mind and try things you normally wouldn’t.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Remember, everything you want is outside of your comfort zone.
Otherwise, you would already have it.
Also, you don’t need to be out for too long if you don’t want to.
Even if you can only stay for an hour at an event, that’s still better than nothing.
At the end of the day, figuring out how to build a social circle is still going to be a number’s game.
That’s why you’ll want to create as many opportunities as you can to socialize.
The more you go out, the faster you’ll find the right people to connect with.
3. Come Up With Stories To Share
If you want to know how to put yourself out there, you need to prepare ahead of time.
If you’re wondering how to avoid awkward silences during your conversations, come up with some stories that you can share.
Most people usually discuss the same things over and over again anyway.
That being said, think of interesting ways to talk about your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
I would also encourage you to stay up-to-date with trending topics and current events.
My advice for you is to really take the time to write these stories out.
By doing so, you’ll feel a lot more confident talking to anybody.
You’ll be less likely to freeze up because you know you have something valuable to share.
As a result, you’ll be able to figure out how to keep a conversation going much easier.
4. Pay Attention To Your Presentation
Remember, you never get a second chance to create a great first impression.
The truth is, we all make snap judgments about people right away based on what we see.
If you’re wondering how to put yourself out there, you need to pay attention to how you present yourself.
You can do this by improving your style and having a more open body language.
Check out this podcast episode with Peter Nguyen, Founder of The Essential Man, where he talks about how to build the perfect wardrobe.
To help you get started, research the gathering that you plan on attending.
Figure out what everybody will be wearing and then dress accordingly.
Whether it’s formal or casual, make sure your clothes are clean and well-fitting.
Remember to groom yourself properly as well.
Also, make sure you have an open body language when you interact with someone.
Whatever you do, avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Stand up straight, maintain proper eye contact, and have a genuine smile on your face.
When you look like someone worth getting to know, people will assume positive things about you.
They’ll take what you have to say more seriously which will help you build rapport with them much faster.
5. Overcome Approach Anxiety
In order to figure out how to put yourself out there, you have to be courageous.
Instead of waiting for people to interact with you, you have to get good at making the first move.
Having the ability to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation with them will open up a lot of doors for you.
If you don’t learn how to overcome approach anxiety, then you’ll always catch yourself sitting on the sidelines.
That being said, the next time you see someone you want to talk to, follow the three-second rule.
Don’t hesitate, keep your opener simple and introduce yourself right away.
Remember, the longer you wait, the more nervous you’ll feel.
You’ll get in your head and you’ll talk yourself out of taking action.
Your anxiety will build up and you’ll be mad at yourself for not doing anything again.
6. Put Your Attention On Others
Those who struggle socially have a bad habit of overthinking social interactions.
They worry too much about other people’s opinions.
If you want to know how to put yourself out there, you need to shift your focus.
The best way to do this is to follow your curiosity and put your attention on others.
Give whoever you’re with your full and undivided attention.
At the end of the day, we all have an innate desire to feel important.
That’s why we like those who pay attention to us.
The next time you interact with someone, ask yourself what’s so interesting about them?
View yourself as a student eager to learn something new.
Have a genuine desire to get to know others and keep the conversation going from that place.
People love talking about themselves anyway so go ahead and let them.
Be present, actively listen and encourage them to share more.
By doing so, you’ll make anybody you interact with feel important.
You’ll stand out in a good way.
They’ll leave the conversation with a positive impression of you and you’ll come across as someone memorable.
7. Work On Your Delivery
The majority of your communication is non-verbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
If you’re wondering how to put yourself out there, you need to work on your delivery.
By doing so, you’ll be able to hold people’s attention a lot easier.
Check out this video if you want to know how to express yourself louder and clearer.
That being said, make sure you raise your energy slightly the next time you talk to someone.
You also have to get comfortable speaking louder.
To project your voice, speak from your stomach and not from your chest.
Use your hands to accentuate what you’re saying and vary your tonality as well.
By doing these things, you’ll appear like a captivating storyteller.
If you’re not used to talking in this manner, just keep at it.
I recommend you practice in front of the mirror and try recording yourself as well.
That way, you can observe your body language and hear how you sound.
By doing this consistently, you’ll figure out how to get better at conversation.
8. Open Up More
Making small talk is such an important skill to develop.
You have to be able to have casual conversations with others especially if you just met them.
But if you want to know how to put yourself out there, make an effort to open up more and be vulnerable.
Don’t be afraid to tell people a little bit about what’s going on in your life.
That being said, you have to find the balance between opening up and sharing too much information.
This is not the time to air out your dirty laundry.
Whatever you do, avoid dumping your emotional baggage on others.
At the end of the day, you have to protect your reputation as well.
My advice is to open up incrementally by sharing a small secret about yourself.
Gauge the other person’s feedback and see if they reciprocate.
By being vulnerable first, you encourage the other person to do the same.
If you want to figure out how to bond and build deeper friendships, this is one of the best ways to do it.
9. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Rejection hurts because it triggers the same part of our brain when we experience physical pain.
That’s why most of us try to avoid it at all costs.
But if you don’t confront your fears and take risks, imagine what kind of life you’re going to have?
I can assure you that it’ll be boring, lame, and uninspiring.
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If you want to learn how to put yourself out there, you need to get comfortable with rejection.
That way, you can cope with it better when it does happen.
The thing is, you can’t really control people’s perceptions of you.
It doesn’t matter who you are and what you do.
You can’t please everybody.
That’s why you have to learn how to not take things personally.
You just have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
Maybe they were having a bad day when you tried talking to them.
Who knows?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, the person who turned you down barely knows who you are.
You’re a total stranger to them.
Remind yourself that they’re rejecting your approach, not you as a person.
That’s why you should only focus on what you can control.
The rest, you just have to let it go.
The better you are at handling rejection, the faster you’ll succeed socially.
10. Keep Yourself Motivated
Learning how to be more outgoing will not happen overnight.
If you’re struggling socially, it’s easy to feel discouraged if you don’t see any results right away.
That’s why you have to remind yourself that everything worthwhile takes time.
Check out this video if you want to know how to make friends if you have social anxiety.
If you’re wondering how to put yourself out there, you have to be patient with yourself.
Anticipate that you’re going to have to do things that make you a little bit uncomfortable.
That’s totally normal and to be expected.
It’s no different than working out if you haven’t been to the gym in a while.
Your body will be a bit sore at first.
But that feeling goes away if you keep training consistently.
If you’re wondering how to improve your conversation skills, the exact same ideas apply.
Instead of resisting discomfort, you should embrace it.
That’s a sign that you’re growing and making progress.
To keep yourself motivated, think of your social goals and pretend you’ve already achieved them.
When you connect with the emotions behind what you want, you’re a lot more likely to accomplish it.
Doing this will help you stay on track and keep you inspired.
By taking action consistently, it’s inevitable that you’ll develop your social confidence.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to put yourself out there, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to come up with stories to share or work on overcoming approach anxiety?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.