By taking the time to learn how to relate to people, you’ll be able to build rapport with them very quickly.

Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to connect with anybody in different social situations.

1. Get Good At Making Small Talk

Most people who struggle socially find it difficult to make small talk with others.

This is especially true for introverts.

Since they have limited energy to socialize, they want to skip small talk altogether and jump into more personal topics right away.

Unfortunately, that’s just not how things work.

If you think about it, it’s weird to ask a person you don’t know well yet such a big question, right?

Check out this video if you want to know how to avoid awkward silences.

If you want to know how to relate to people, it’s best to take things slow in the beginning.

You’ll want to focus on exchanging polite pleasantries first.

By doing so, you’ll be able to gather information and learn more about the person you’re chatting with.

That way, you can determine which direction you want the conversation to go.

This will help you bring up topics that both of you are interested in.

2. Look For Things In Common

If you’re wondering how to relate to people, explore mutual interests as much as you can.

The next time you talk to someone, try to point out things that both of you have in common.

For example, let’s say you and the person you’re chatting with work in the same industry.

Then, by all means, keep talking about that.

On the other hand, if an unfamiliar topic comes up, then try to relate emotionally.

For example, let’s say you’re talking to someone who’s into a hobby that you don’t know much about.

In that situation, you can ask them what got them into it, what they like about it, and how it makes them feel.

And then, think of an experience that made you feel the exact same way in the past.

The better you are at doing this, the faster you’ll figure out how to keep a conversation going with anybody.

3. Do Novel Activities

As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life.

Doing the same things over and over again can get you stuck in a rut.

You can only talk about the same topics until it gets repetitive.

If you want to know how to relate to people, you have to break your routine.

My advice to you is to keep an open mind and say yes to things you normally wouldn’t.

For example, you can take up a new hobby.

You can also listen to a different genre of music.

If it’s within your budget, I recommend you go on a trip as well.

Personally, I’ve lived in multiple countries, seen a variety of cultures, and learned to speak different languages.

Traveling exposes you to a wide range of experiences that will expand your perspective.

As a result, you’ll become more accepting of others because you understand where they’re coming from.

I know it sounds obvious but if you want to know how to be interesting to talk to, you need to make time to do interesting things.

Not only will this make your life more exciting but you’ll become a high-value person as well.

4. Avoid Being Argumentative

Getting into an argument is a quick way to end any interaction.

Even if you win the debate, you still lose because you fighting with someone doesn’t accomplish anything.

Not only is it emotionally draining but it could potentially damage your reputation in the long run.

The last thing you want is to burn bridges and ruin your relationships with others.

If you want to figure out how to relate to people, try to keep an open mind.

Don’t be so opinionated all the time.

Not everybody will share your views and opinions, and that’s totally okay.

And just because you don’t agree on something doesn’t make someone wrong.

You don’t even need to agree with them.

You just need to see where people are coming from and respect your differences.

You’ll want to pivot the conversation quickly away from sensitive topics and focus on your commonalities instead.

I know for me, I’d rather be liked by others than be right all the time.

5. Use Simple Words

As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.

They’re paid based on their technical expertise and they’re not really required to be social.

A conversation mistake that I see a lot of them commit is using jargons when they talk about something.

They throw around a lot of technical terms that only their co-workers would comprehend.

If this sounds like you, avoid doing this at all costs.

Whatever you share will just go over people’s heads and you’ll make them feel excluded.

To fix this issue, always use simple words.

Make an effort to explain complicated ideas in a way that’s easy to understand.

You can do this by relating whatever you’re talking about to something that they’re familiar with.

Leave out necessary facts and talk about how things make you feel instead.

When you tell your story in a way that’s easy to comprehend, people will be inclined to continue engaging with you.

6. Stay Relevant

If you’re wondering how to relate to people, you need to expand your knowledge base.

When you know a little bit about a lot of things, you’ll always have something interesting to talk about.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to pay attention to trending topics, popular shows, and current events.

That way, you’ll be in the know which makes it easier for you to interact with others.

Check out this video if you want to know how to not be boring to talk to.

Before you head out to any social gathering, visit some reputable websites and check out their social media accounts.

And then, take the time to prepare what you want to say by coming up with some stories that you can share with others.

The more you do this, the less nervous you’ll feel in any social situation.

You’ll experience less approach anxiety and be able to make small talk much easier.

When you know you have something valuable to say, you’ll figure out how to express yourself verbally much easier.

You’ll be able to participate in any group conversation and be less quiet around people.

7. Ask More Open-Ended Questions

If your interactions in the past ever felt like an interview, you might’ve been asking too many closed-ended questions.

These are questions that only require one word to answer.

If you want to have more effortless conversations, try asking open-ended questions instead.

Doing so encourages the person you’re chatting with to share more details about themselves.

For example, instead of asking “Do you like your job?” ask “What do you like most about your job?”

Do you see the difference?

The first question can be answered with a “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.

You’ll prompt whoever you’re interacting with to share more details about themselves.

This could trigger other topics that both of you can potentially discuss.

The more information you have to work with, the easier it’ll be for you to maintain a conversation with anybody.

8. Work On Your Listening Skills

Remember, there’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.

If you want to know how to relate to people, you have to work on your listening skills as well.

Once you’ve taken the time to prepare your stories and come up with things to share, you just have to let things go after that.

The next time you talk to someone, be present.

Get out of your head, put your phone away and really try to see where they’re coming from.

By doing so, you’ll be able to think of follow-up questions to ask and related stories to share much easier.

This will help you improve your connection with everyone you interact with.

When you’re genuinely curious about others, you’ll build rapport with them very quickly.

You’ll make them feel special and you’ll stand out in a good way.

Not to mention, knowing what to say becomes much easier when you actually remember what the other person was saying.

9. Stop Trying To Be Perfect

We’ve all experienced hardships and made mistakes in the past.

If you want to know how to relate to people, be courageous and don’t be afraid to show some vulnerability.

Embrace your imperfections and feel free to share some of the hardships that you’ve been through.

Personally, I know what it’s like to be overweight, be in credit card debt, and feel unsure of where my life is going.

Whenever I bring any of those up in conversation, the person that I’m talking to feels more connected to me.

It’s a tough situation that most people have been through in one way or another.

That being said, you have to find the balance between being vulnerable and sharing too much information.

This is not the time to air out your dirty laundry and dump your emotional baggage on others.

At the end of the day, you have to protect your reputation and keep some things private.

My advice is to open up incrementally by sharing a small secret about yourself.

Typically, these are things that you used to struggle with but have now dealt with.

Gauge the other person’s feedback and see how they react.

By being vulnerable first, you create a safe space for them to open up as well if they choose to do so.

If you want to know how to bond with others, this is one of the best ways to do it.

10. Don’t Rush Things

Whether it’s in your personal, romantic, or professional life, building any type of relationship takes time.

If you want to figure out how to relate to people, you need to be patient.

Keep in mind that everything worthwhile takes time so don’t rush things.

While some people tend to be an open book, others need more time to reveal themselves.

Check out this podcast interview with Joe Ducard, Dating Coach, where he talks about how to make meaningful friendships.

My advice for you is to put all your effort only on what you can control and let go of everything else.

In this case, take the initiative and be the first one to reach out to others.

Follow through on your plans, be on time, and always keep your promises.

Be positive, honest, and light-hearted during your get-togethers.

As mentioned before, be the first one to open up and let others warm up to you at their own pace.

After a while, mutual trust will develop organically which leads to a greater sense of connection.

As a result, people will feel more comfortable opening up to you and having deeper conversations.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to relate to people, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.