Ruminating all the time can be mentally exhausting.
And you’ll have a hard to come across as a charismatic person if you’re always stuck in your head.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to stop second-guessing yourself.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to trust myself more and feel more at ease in any situation.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Gather Relevant Information
It’s totally normal to be afraid of the unknown.
If you’re wondering how to stop second-guessing yourself, make sure you prepare in advance in order to mitigate your fears.
For example, let’s say you feel nervous attending a get-together.
If that’s the case, make sure you do your homework.
Gather as much information as you can about the event that you plan on going to.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be more outgoing and talkative.
For example, you can figure out what the dress code is going to be and try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
That way, you’ll be able to dress intentionally and come up with stories that you can share.
By doing these things, you’ll figure out how to be approachable and you’ll feel a lot more confident talking to anybody as well.
You’ll experience less anxiety because you know you’ve done everything that you can to prepare.
As a result, you’ll build rapport with others quickly and create more quality connections.
2. Put Things Into Perspective
It’s easy to make a big deal out of small things when you can’t see the big picture.
For example, let’s say you’re at a party and you tried cracking a joke.
Unfortunately, nobody really got it and there was an awkward silence for a bit.
For some people, they internalize that experience so much.
To avoid embarrassing themselves in the future, they just remain quiet and isolate themselves.
Whenever you feel like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?”
I find that whenever I ask myself that question, it quickly snaps me out of overthinking.
The reality is, nobody is thinking about you as much as you might as assume.
Everyone is so concerned about themselves anyway, they don’t have time to worry about you.
Even if you do something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you at the end of the day.
By putting things into perspective, you’ll be less likely to beat yourself up mentally and you won’t be afraid to make mistakes.
3. Remind Yourself Of Your Previous Wins
Remember, you get exactly what you think about the most.
That’s why you have to be mindful of what you’re putting your attention to.
Those who struggle socially have a bad habit of thinking about their past failures repeatedly.
They do it so often that it cripples them from taking action.
If that sounds like you, avoid doing this at all costs.
If you want to figure out how to stop second-guessing yourself, you need to shift your focus.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Make an effort to remind yourself of your previous wins and accomplishments as often as you can.
It’s your mind anyway, you can fill it with anything that you want.
You might as well choose thoughts that make you feel good and support your goals.
When you do this, you’ll change how you feel almost immediately.
You’ll realize that things are not as bad as you make them out to be.
Again, whatever you focus on expands.
The more you think about your previous wins and accomplishments, the more confident you’re going to feel.
4. Confront Your Fears
As a former shy guy, I was socially inept earlier in my life.
In fact, my anxiety was so bad back in high school that I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall.
I spent a lot of time alone because I had no idea how to be more outgoing.
Check out this podcast interview with John Sonmez, Founder of Bulldog Mindset, where he talks about how to develop mental toughness.
Frustrated with my situation, I made a decision to do something about it.
One of the things that I did to help me overcome my shyness was to get a job as a server in a restaurant.
I had no choice but to figure out how to interact with people because my tips were dependent on how likeable I was.
With enough time, repetition, and reflection, this experience helped me become socially adept.
If you want to learn how to stop second-guessing yourself, you need to confront your fears.
The best way to do this is to expose yourself to situations that you’re afraid of.
When you’re starting out, you need to lower the bar so you can build positive momentum.
Just pick the easiest and simplest thing that you can do and get started there.
This will help you gather the necessary reference experience which will help you change your belief.
You’ll prove to yourself that you’re capable of going for what you want if you set your mind to it.
The more fears you overcome, the more empowered you’re going to feel.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Most people who have poor self-image speak to themselves in a very demeaning way.
If that sounds like you, let me ask you a question.
If you talk to others the way you talk to yourself right now, would you still have friends?
If you’re wondering how to stop second-guessing yourself, practice self-compassion.
Be more encouraging and talk to yourself the same way you would to someone you care about.
Whenever you mess something up, remind yourself that you did the best you could at that moment.
If you knew better, you would’ve done things differently right?
By doing so, you’ll be a lot more likely to take risks instead of always playing it safe.
6. Own Whatever You’re Into
Most individuals who struggle with anxiety worry too much about what people think of them.
That’s why they stifle their personality.
As a result, they just keep to themselves to avoid being criticized by others.
If you want to know to learn to stop second-guessing yourself, you need to own whatever it is that you’re into.
It doesn’t matter who you are and what you do.
There’s no way you’ll be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.
Remember, the world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
Keep in mind that nobody likes people who are fake so stop pretending to be someone you’re not.
Embrace your quirks and accept who you are.
You never have to compromise your values just to be accepted by others.
Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself.
And then find others who will like you for who you are.
The more authentic you are, the faster you’ll find the right relationships for you.
7. Disassociate From Your Thoughts
It’s hard to think clearly when your mind is all over the place.
If you’re wondering how to stop second-guessing yourself, you need to train your brain to slow down.
Remember, you are not your thoughts.
That’s why you have to be able to separate yourself from whatever it is that you’re thinking about.
If you haven’t already, I highly encourage you to adopt a meditation practice.
Spend a few minutes each day to close your eyes and just focus on your breathing.
Empty your mind and whenever a thought comes up, just observe it without any judgment.
Imagine how you would pay attention to the vehicles on a busy road.
That’s exactly how you want to treat whatever you’re thinking about.
Just watch them come and go without feeling the need to chase any of them.
By meditating regularly, you’ll become a less reactive person.
You’ll be able to control the way you think instead of just letting your mind run on autopilot.
This will help you make better decisions which will lead to a more favorable outcome.
8. Identify What Matters To You
If you’re not aware of what your values are then you’ll be easily persuaded by others.
If you want to learn how to stop second-guessing yourself, begin to clarify the things that matter to you.
To help you with this, just take some time to reflect.
Think of which events and circumstances in the past made you feel good and which ones made you feel bad.
Once you’re aware of the things that you really value, use that knowledge to guide every decision that you make.
To give you an example from my own life, my health is really important to me.
That’s why I weigh my food at home and ask for modifications whenever I eat out at a restaurant.
As a result, some people make fun of me and tease me about it.
But because I know that taking care of my body is a priority for me, their remarks don’t bother me one bit.
If you want to figure out how to be assertive without being rude, you need to know what you like and don’t like.
The more aware you are of things that matter to you, the less you’ll care about the opinions of others.
9. Review Your Journal
Remember, you can’t improve what you don’t measure.
If you want to figure out how to stop second-guessing yourself, I suggest you keep a journal.
It’s much easier to analyze your situation more objectively when you can see your thoughts on paper.
You’ll be able to take a look at whatever is making you feel anxious more strategically.
That’s why journaling is very therapeutic.
When you free up your mind, you’ll be able to think better.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
Personally, I’ve been journaling daily for many years now and it’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done.
I actually love re-reading my old notes because it makes me realize how far I’ve come.
To help you get started, I suggest you write down your wins and lessons every time you come home from a social gathering.
By taking the time to reflect, you’ll see what you’re doing well and what you still need to work on.
You’ll be able to explore potential solutions to your problem and create a specific game plan to improve your situation.
That way, you can consistently make progress which makes succeeding socially inevitable.
10. Develop Self-Awareness
We all have things that we’re naturally good at.
It’s easy to feel inadequate when you measure yourself against everybody else.
If you want to know how to stop second-guessing yourself, you need to develop self-awareness.
Check out this video if you want to know how to stop being shy and introverted.
Nobody is perfect and we all have our shortcomings.
But you get to decide where you put your attention to.
If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you take an online personality test.
Doing so will help you understand yourself better.
You can also ask people you know, like, and trust for some feedback.
Get them to tell you what they think your strengths and weaknesses are.
By having this kind of information, you’ll be able to get to know yourself better.
The more you know who you are, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own skin.
As a result, you’ll be able to manage your expectations better and you won’t compare yourself unfavorably to others.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to stop second-guessing yourself, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to take the time to gather relevant information or make an effort to put things into perspective?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.