The fear of being criticized holds most people back from putting themselves out there socially.
But if you keep playing it safe, then you’ll miss out on a lot of opportunities in your personal, romantic, and professional life.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to not take things personally.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to not be so sensitive all the time.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Manage Your Emotions
It’s hard to think rationally when you feel tense.
Being emotionally charged will definitely cloud your judgment.
This might cause you to say or do things that you’ll regret later on.
The last thing you want is to damage your reputation and hurt your relationships with others.
Check out this video if you want to know how to stop overanalyzing social interactions.
If you want to know how to not take things personally, you have to be able to control the way you feel.
By doing so, you’ll become less reactive especially during stressful moments.
If you haven’t already, I highly encourage you to adopt a mindfulness practice.
Meditating and journaling regularly will allow you to control the way you think so you can disassociate from your thoughts.
That way, you can just observe them and not identify with them so closely.
You’ll be able to reframe your limiting beliefs and choose more empowering thoughts instead.
If you do this long enough, you’ll train yourself to always remain cool, calm, and collected.
As a result, you’ll be able to interact with people better and create more meaningful relationships with them.
2. Distract Yourself
If you want to figure out how to not take things personally, you need to just give your brain a break.
Take some time off from whatever it is that you’re thinking about.
The best way to do this is to remove yourself from your current situation and do something different.
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Personally, I like to hit the gym or go for a long walk.
Time and time again, I’m always in a much better headspace after getting some physical activity.
Whatever it is for you, I recommend you do something fun that you can immerse yourself in.
By distracting yourself from whatever it is that you’re ruminating about, you’ll be able to think more objectively.
When you’re clear-minded, you’ll be able to analyze your situation much better.
3. Get Another Perspective
It’s easy to feel upset when you think someone is out to get you.
If you’re wondering how to not take things personally, you need to be able to get another perspective.
Remember, you don’t know what you don’t know unless someone shows you how.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and ask for help.
Seek wisdom from those who have the knowledge and experience regarding your situation.
That way, you’ll gain some much-needed insight to help you understand your situation better.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have someone tell you exactly what you need to do.
You’ll have someone keep you accountable as well to make sure you keep taking the right action.
As a result, you’ll make fewer mistakes which will help you succeed socially much faster.
You’ll get this part of your life handled and you never have to worry about it ever again.
4. Find Things To Be Thankful For
Remember, you get exactly what you think about the most.
That’s why you have to be mindful of what you’re putting your attention to.
If you want to learn how to not take things personally, make a conscious effort to find things to be thankful for.
It doesn’t even have to be anything big.
Just do your best to put your attention on something that’s easy for you to appreciate.
When you do this, you’ll change how you feel almost immediately.
You’ll realize that things are not as bad as you make them out to be.
Again, whatever you focus on expands.
The more you think about what’s going well in your life, the more positive experiences you’re going to have.
5. Evaluate Who’s Criticizing You
Most individuals who feel a great deal of anxiety are so concerned about the opinions of others.
To avoid being judged, they just remain quiet and keep to themselves.
If you’re wondering how to not take things personally, you have to evaluate who’s criticizing you.
Do they have something that you want?
Are they someone you like and respect?
Do they have your best intention in mind?
If the answer is yes, then listen to their feedback and take it into consideration.
They probably noticed some room for improvement and they brought it up to you to help you become a better person.
That’s why you need to keep an open mind and avoid being defensive.
On the other hand, if the answer is no, then stop caring what they think.
Whoever is judging you is projecting how they feel which has nothing to do with you.
The way I see it unless they’re adding value to your life then their opinion of you shouldn’t matter.
By keeping this perspective in mind, you’ll feel less offended by what others say or do.
6. Communicate Your Needs
How many times have you been in situations where you wanted to speak up but you didn’t?
If you don’t stand up for yourself, you’ll often feel neglected and unappreciated during your interactions.
That’s why you need to learn how to express yourself verbally and communicate your needs to others.
Check out this podcast interview with Doug Noll, Author of De-Escalate, where he talks about how to deal with confrontation when you have anxiety.
Doing this can be challenging especially if you don’t know how to be assertive without being rude.
If you feel uncomfortable having difficult conversations, consider preparing ahead of time.
I recommend you write everything down and get all your thoughts on paper.
And then practice what you want to say.
If you’re willing to, try recording yourself as well.
That way, you can observe your body language and hear how you sound.
This will help you make adjustments accordingly to get your point across better.
The more you do this, the more respect you’ll gain from others.
You’ll also feel lighter because you’re not carrying so much resentment all the time.
7. Validate Yourself
Most individuals who are easily offended tend to have low self-esteem.
That’s why they seek approval from others because they don’t give it to themselves.
If you can relate to that, let me ask you a question.
How can you expect people to like you if you don’t feel good about who you are?
If you want to learn how to not take things personally, you need to figure out how to like yourself more.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming as an introvert.
One of the best confidence-building exercises that I know is to focus on your positive traits.
Start making a list of what’s good about you and all the things you’ve accomplished so far.
By doing so, you’ll realize that you’re a high-value person and that you have a lot to offer in any interaction.
This will help you raise your self-esteem and you’ll begin to appreciate yourself more.
As a result, you’ll feel less intimidated by others and you’ll figure out how to be more outspoken.
8. Be Empathetic
If you’re wondering how to not take things personally, you need to shift your focus.
Get out of your head and put yourself in other people’s situations.
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To give you an example from my own life, I had a friend who didn’t reply to my messages and phone calls for a while.
At first, it upset me because I thought I did something wrong and that he was ignoring me.
Later on, I learned that he had a loved one pass away and was going through a grieving period.
When I realized that, I almost felt bad for making things about me.
That’s why whatever you do, avoid making any assumptions.
As mentioned before, you need to control the way you feel so that you become less reactive.
Remember, there are always two sides to every story.
Make an effort to be empathetic and always try to see where people are coming from.
As uncomfortable as it may seem, ask the person involved to get some clarification.
By doing so, you’ll prevent any misunderstanding which will help you bond with others much better.
9. Get Rid Of Toxic Relationships
Remember, your needs are totally valid.
But you can’t ask people to give you what you want if they’re not able or willing to.
If you want to know how to not take things personally, you have to consistently evaluate your relationships.
Keep in mind that your environment shapes who you are.
That’s why you need to be more intentional with who you spend time with.
Like I said earlier, take responsibility for yourself and communicate your needs to others.
Once you’ve done that and the situation still hasn’t changed then you need to cut your losses and move on.
If you don’t get rid of toxic people in your life, they will continuously drag you down and make things difficult for you.
At the end of the day, there are billions of people in the world.
You never want to put yourself in circumstances where you have to compromise what you value.
That’s why it’s important that you learn how to be more outgoing.
By doing so, you’ll be able to put yourself out there and figure out how to meet like-minded friends much faster.
You’ll know how to build a social circle intentionally and surround yourself with supportive individuals.
10. Create A Vision For Your Life
From what I’ve noticed, those who make a big deal out of the littlest things don’t have a whole lot going for them.
If you want to figure out how to not take things personally, I encourage you to really take the time to reflect.
Keep in mind that the size of your problem is directly proportional to how meaningful your life is.
It’s easy to make a mountain out of a molehill when you don’t have anything to work towards.
If you haven’t already, take the time to create a vision for your life.
Having something worthwhile to pursue will give you a greater sense of meaning and fulfillment.
To help you get started, ask yourself what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and money wasn’t an issue?
Remember, your mind can only contain one thought at any given moment.
By having clearly defined goals that you’re excited about, you’ll be too preoccupied to sweat the small stuff.
You’ll care less about what others think because you know what’s really important to you.
Once you have your goals written out, I encourage you to review them regularly.
By doing so, you’ll be jumping out of bed every morning because you have something exciting to wake up to.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to not take things personally, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on getting another perspective or on communicating your needs?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.