If you want to create more options in your dating life, you need to learn how to talk to women.
That’s why today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to put myself out there and attract a quality partner in my life.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Stop Beating Yourself Up
A mistake that I see a lot of guys commit in dating is putting women on a pedestal.
Because they don’t think they’re good enough, they seek external validation instead of giving it to themselves.
If this sounds like you, I can definitely relate because I’ve done the exact same thing in the past.
If you want to figure out how to talk to women, you have to see yourself as on the same level as them.
Think about it.
How can you expect anyone to be drawn to you if you have low self-worth?
In order for women to like you, you have to learn how to like yourself first.
The best way that I know to raise your self-esteem is to change your mindset.
For example, instead of always ruminating about your previous mistakes, think of what’s good about you.
You can also make a list of your previous accomplishments and what’s going well in your life.
By doing these things, you’ll start to realize that you actually have a lot to bring in any relationship.
When you feel good about who you are, you’ll act more confident around women and they’ll definitely take notice.
2. Improve Your Appearance
If you’re wondering how to talk to women, you have to pay attention to your appearance as well.
The thing is, you don’t need to be blessed with good looks to succeed in dating.
Keep in mind that at 5’5″, I used to weigh 200 lbs and I had a 36-inch waist.
If you’re not genetically gifted like me, there are still a lot of things that you can do to make yourself more appealing to women.
For example, you can take care of your physical health by working out and eating mostly whole foods.
You can change your wardrobe by wearing clothes that are well-fitted and up-to-date.
You can also groom yourself better by showering, shaving your face, and brushing your teeth regularly.
I know it sounds like a lot of work but there’s really no way around it.
Whether you like it or not, your appearance really does matter so make sure you put some effort into it.
When you look like someone worth getting to know, women will be a lot more inclined to engage with you.
3. Come Up With Things To Talk About
Running out of things to say is a common issue that I hear from a lot of our clients in our social skills coaching program.
If you want to know how to talk to women, come up with stories to share in advance.
The same topics tend to come up in conversation over and over again anyway.
That being said, I recommend you think of interesting ways to discuss your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
I know it’s tedious but really take the time to write these stories out.
By doing so, it’ll be a lot easier for you to figure out how to keep a conversation going with anybody.
As a result, you’ll prevent awkward silences during your interactions as well.
Again, the more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be in any social situation.
4. Show Up At The Right Venues
If you’re a shy or introverted guy, you have to be more intentional with how you meet women.
If you’re still learning out how to talk to women, make things easier for you by going to the right venues.
To help you get started, take the time to clarify what type of women you would like to date.
And then, ask yourself where are the best places to find them?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
For example, let’s say you want to attract someone who’s creative and ambitious.
If that’s the case, then you might want to sign up for a painting class or a personal development seminar.
Once you’re there, starting conversations with anybody will feel effortless.
The environment you’re in automatically gives you things in common to discuss.
Do you see how that works?
Given your goals, hanging out at bars and clubs on the weekend may not be the most effective use of your time.
Remember, you can’t meet the right person if you show up at the wrong places.
By being more strategic with where you go, you can increase the probability of finding someone who’s compatible with you.
5. Make A Move Right Away
If you want to figure out how to talk to women, stop hesitating so much.
As soon as you see someone you’re interested in, follow the three-second rule and take action immediately.
If not, then you’ll come up with excuses in your head and you’ll end up not doing anything.
To make this whole process more simple for you, I recommend you come up with a handful of default ice breakers that you can use.
For example, you can say “Hey, I just noticed you and I wanted to say hello!” and then introduce yourself.
That’s actually one of my favorite ways to start a conversation with anyone because it works in almost any social situation.
If it feels right for you, then go ahead and use it as well.
Again, I can’t stress this enough.
The longer you wait to make a move, the more approach anxiety you’ll feel.
To prevent yourself from overthinking, rememberer to take action right away.
6. Remove Any Pressure On Yourself
From what I’ve noticed, most guys who don’t do well with women tend to be too serious.
They’re such in a rush to be in a relationship that they come across desperate.
That’s why they find it hard to be themselves when they’re around someone that they find attractive.
Remember, dating shouldn’t feel like a chore.
My advice is to just focus on the process, have fun and enjoy yourself.
I know it sounds silly to even say but the woman that you like is just a regular person too.
The key here is to have a high intention of attracting her but have low attachment to the outcome.
At the end of the day, you’re just communicating with another human being so don’t make a big deal out of it.
From my experience, interacting with women becomes much easier when you remove any pressure on yourself to make anything happen.
7. Talk About Positive Topics
There’s nothing attractive about someone who’s negative.
If you want to learn how to talk to women, keep the conversation light and fun.
Whatever you do, avoid complaining or talking about your personal problems.
Also, stay away from sensitive topics like religion, politics, and race.
If you actually want to get a date, then don’t treat your interactions with women like a therapy session with a psychologist.
That’s why it’s important that you learn how to be funny.
When you know how to make people laugh, you can lighten up the mood in any situation.
You become a source of positive emotions and women will feel good when they’re around you.
8. Have Your Own Perspective
Another mistake that I see a lot of guys commit in dating is filtering themselves too much.
They have a scarcity mindset around women because they don’t go out a lot and don’t meet enough people in general.
That’s why whenever they’re around someone they’re into, they alter their personality and become way too agreeable.
Check out this podcast interview with Mark Sing, Host of The Unapologetic Man podcast, where he talks about how to communicate more assertively.
Be more outspoken and have your own opinions on things.
Now I’m not saying you should be argumentative.
But you shouldn’t be afraid to contradict what the other person is saying if you truly have a good reason for it.
This shows any woman that you talk to that you’re confident in yourself and you’re not a pushover.
9. Elaborate On Your Responses
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Most of them make the mistake of giving short answers and being so brief when they share something.
That’s why it’s hard for people to maintain a conversation with them.
If you want to know how to talk to women, you have to elaborate on your responses more.
I know it may feel self-indulgent but you have to get used to volunteering information about yourself.
For example, let’s say someone asks you what you do for fun.
Instead of just giving a brief response, make an effort to go deeper.
Discuss what got you into it, what you like about it, and how things make you feel.
If you’re not used to talking in this way, this will definitely take practice.
To help you improve much faster, try recording yourself telling your stories.
That way, you can hear how you sound in conversation and be able to make adjustments accordingly.
10. Ask Unconventional Questions
Doing a bit of small talk early in your interactions is totally normal.
At the end of the day, you have to be able to exchange polite pleasantries to build rapport with someone you just met.
But if you’re wondering how to talk to women, you can’t get stuck there.
Or else, you’re doomed to have boring conversations with someone that you like.
Instead of just talking about the weather or the situation you’re in, try asking unconventional questions as well.
For example, you can ask what’s a hidden talent that they have or a skill that they wish they could develop.
You can also inquire if money wasn’t an issue, what would they do, and why?
Remember, most women don’t usually hear these types of questions so it gets them really thinking.
You’ll prompt them to open up to you which will help you get to know them on a much deeper level.
11. Work On Your Delivery
A big part of learning how to talk to women is your non-verbal communication.
Remember, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it matters too.
That’s why you have to work on your delivery as well.
In order to project confidence and friendliness, adopt a more open body language.
Stand or sit up straight, make eye contact, and smile.
Avoid crossing your arms or legs and use your hands to accentuate what you’re saying.
Also, if you tend to be soft-spoken, remind yourself to speak louder.
It may feel like you’re yelling but if you’ve been quiet your whole life, this will seem like the right volume.
Keep in mind that you won’t be able to hold anyone’s attention if nobody can hear you.
Improving your body language and tonality will not happen overnight so be patient with yourself.
Just make an effort to slowly implement the things we just discussed the next time you interact with someone.
If you practice consistently, this will become a natural part of how you communicate.
12. Tease Playfully
If you want to know how to talk to women, you have to get good at flirting.
You can’t be afraid of rocking the boat when you interact with women.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be witty and flirty.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying you should be rude or obnoxious.
This is not about making fun of others so you can feel better about yourself.
Figuring out how to flirt with women comes down to being able to tease them but in a positive way.
If you’re not sure how to do this, just think of how you would banter with your friends.
You playfully nudge them and you’re not afraid to bust their chops every now and then, right?
It’s not offensive because it’s all in good fun.
To pull this off, it all comes down to your overall vibe and demeanor.
If you want to know how to escape the friend zone, you have to know how to tease women the right way.
13. Pursue Your Passions
It’s no surprise that women are attracted to men who are ambitious.
I hate to break it to you but if all you do is go to work, go home and play video games, then something needs to change.
You can’t just keep telling yourself “I want a girlfriend” and not have an exciting life to invite her into.
Remember, a woman wants to be part of your world, she doesn’t want to be your everything.
If you want to know how to not be boring, I suggest you create a bucket list.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
To help you get started, ask yourself if you know you can’t fail, what would you do?
Where would you live?
Who would you spend time with?
Whatever it is for you, start jotting some ideas down and actually make plans to do them.
Remember, passion is very contagious.
When you’re excited about something, others can’t help but feel the same way as well.
14. Get Comfortable With Rejection
Let me ask you a question.
Do you like every woman you interact with?
You don’t, right?
So what makes you think every woman will like you as well?
The truth is, success in romantic relationships is still going to be a number’s game.
Learning how to talk to women means you have to get comfortable with rejection.
The more risk you’re willing to take, the more abundant your dating life is going to be.
You have to figure out how to stop caring so much and value the opinion that you have about yourself more.
Also, you have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives when you talk to them.
When you get turned down, remind yourself that they’re rejecting your approach not you as a person.
Chances are, they barely know who you are that’s why you can’t take anything personally.
15. Put Your Reps In
I know making small talk for introverts isn’t their favorite thing to do.
But if you’re wondering how to talk to women, you need to build your social confidence.
The best way to do this is to just put your reps in.
Make a conscious effort to have regular interactions throughout your day.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be outgoing as an introvert.
For example, you can ask how the barista is doing when you get your coffee.
Have a casual conversation with the person you share the elevator with.
Feel free to chit-chat with the cashier the next time you buy your groceries.
By taking small and consistent actions, you’ll learn how to be more outgoing and improve your conversation skills.
You’ll prove to yourself that you know how to be social as an introvert and that you’re capable of having great conversations.
That belief will build more trust in yourself which will definitely help you the next time you’re chatting with someone you that you’re into.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to talk to women, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on coming up with things to talk about or on showing up at the right place?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.