Do you tend to take everything so seriously?
If so, then you need to learn how to be more easy going.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to relax around people.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Question Your Assumptions
From what I’ve noticed, a lot of shy introverts tend to ruminate a lot.
They always predict that something bad will happen whenever they try to interact with people.
They exaggerate the worst-case scenario in their heads so much that it prevents them from taking action.
If that sounds like you and you keep doing that, you’ll consistently miss out on opportunities to connect with people.
As a result, you’ll feel lonely and you’ll end up with a lot of regrets.
Check out this podcast interview with Paul McGregor, Mental Health Speaker, where talks about how to improve your mental health.
If you’re wondering how to be more easy going, you have to get good at challenging your assumptions.
Instead of always assuming the worst-case scenario, why not do the opposite?
That could happen too, you know?
It’s your mind anyway, you can fill it with anything that you want.
You might as well choose more thoughts that empower you and support your social goals.
2. Be Interested In Others
As the saying goes, in order for others to be interested in you, you need to be interested in them first.
If you want to know how to be more easy going, you need to shift your focus.
Take the attention away from yourself and put it on others instead.
Think about it.
How nice does it feel when the person you’re talking to is giving you their undivided attention?
It feels pretty awesome, right?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
That being said, the next time you interact with someone, get out of your head and be present.
Actively listen by leaning forward to show interest and nodding in agreement to acknowledge whatever they’re sharing.
When you do these things, I can assure you that you’ll come across as someone charismatic.
You’ll make whoever you talk to feel important and they’ll leave the interaction looking forward to seeing you again.
3. Think Of What’s Good About You
As an immigrant, I used to not feel good about myself.
I consistently compared myself to other people because I looked different.
In fact, I used to wish that I was taller and had a different skin color.
As a result, I was easily intimidated by others because I felt inferior.
If you can relate to that, let me ask you a question.
How can you expect others to be drawn to you if you don’t feel good about who you are?
If you want to figure out how to be more easy going, you have to learn how to like yourself.
Check out this video if you want to become socially attractive if you have anxiety.
To help you get started, make a list of what’s good about you and all your previous accomplishments.
When you do this consistently, you’ll start to realize that you’re not doing as bad as you might’ve assumed.
If you do this long enough, you’ll appreciate who you are and feel more comfortable in your own skin.
You’ll feel more at ease in social situations which will allow you to show your true personality more.
4. Warm Up To Others Right Away
The fear of rejection holds most people back from putting themselves out there.
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially tend to act standoffish to protect themselves from getting hurt.
And because they don’t look friendly to others, not many people want to interact with them.
If you’re wondering how to be more easy going you have to figure out how to be more approachable.
Take the lead and be warm towards people right away.
When you assume that you’ll get along well with others, then you’ll act in ways to make that happen.
To help you with this, just imagine how you’d treat an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while?
That’s exactly what you want to think about when you interact with people.
When you make an effort to see the best in others, they’ll do the same to you as well.
5. Embrace Your Quirks
Most individuals who struggle with anxiety worry too much about what people think of them.
That’s why they stifle their personality.
As a result, they remain quiet and just keep to themselves to avoid being criticized by others.
If you want to learn how to be more easy going, you need to own whatever it is that you’re into.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who you are and what you do.
There’s no way you’ll be able to get along with everybody so don’t even try.
Remember, the world will be a boring place if we’re all trying to be like each other.
Keep in mind that nobody likes people who are fake so stop pretending to be someone you’re not.
Embrace your quirks and accept who you are.
You never have to compromise your values just to be accepted by others.
Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself.
And then find others who will like you for who you are.
The more authentic you are, the faster you’ll find the right relationships for you.
6. Be Empathetic
Those who struggle socially make everything about them.
If you want to know how to be more easy going, you have to be empathetic.
Put yourself in other people’s situations and try to consider where they’re coming from.
For example, I’m generally a very outgoing person.
But, I’m not in a very social mood if I’m not feeling all that great.
That’s why you have to learn how to not take things personally.
The reality is, you have no idea what’s really going on in people’s lives.
Maybe the person who turned you down is having a bad day and they just happened to take it out on you.
You can’t know for sure what they’re thinking about so avoid jumping to conclusions right away.
Not many people talk about this but good timing is a big component of building rapport with anybody.
By taking the time to see other people’s points of view, you’ll become a more understanding person.
You won’t be as sensitive and you’ll get less offended when things don’t go your way.
My advice for you is to just focus on what you can control.
The rest, you just have to let it go.
7. Put Things Into Perspective
If you want to know how to be more easy going, you need to be able to see the bigger picture.
For example, let’s say you’re at a party and you tried cracking a joke.
Unfortunately, nobody really got it and there was an awkward silence for a bit.
For some people, they internalize this experience so much that they start avoiding social situations and isolating themselves.
Check out this video if you want to stop overanalyzing social interactions.
On that note, whenever you feel like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?”
I find that whenever I ask myself that question, it quickly snaps me out of overthinking.
Believe it or not, nobody is paying as much attention to you as you might think.
Even if you do something silly or make a mistake, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you at the end of the day.
By putting things into perspective, you’ll be less likely to beat yourself up mentally.
8. Stop Being So Serious
Growing up in a traditional Asian family, academic success became my main priority.
That’s why I was so serious all the time.
But if you want to know how to be more easy going, you have to have a sense of humor.
If you’re not a naturally funny person, just know that this is a skill that you can develop.
To help you get started, get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect.
Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to.
And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said.
If you want some inspiration, start watching more comedy shows.
Make sure you pay attention to the material, timing, and delivery of the joke.
My advice is for you to really take the time to write these stories out in advance.
The more you do, the more confident you’ll feel bantering with anybody.
You’ll train your brain to think of something witty to say when you find yourself in the same situation in the future.
As a result, you’ll be less likely to freeze up since you wouldn’t be caught off guard.
9. Don’t Judge Others
At the end of the day, we’re all different.
We all have unique life experiences and we’re all entitled to our own opinions.
If you want to learn how to be more easy going, you have to keep an open mind.
At some point, you’re going to meet someone who sees things differently than you.
And just because both of you don’t agree on a particular topic doesn’t make them wrong.
That’s why you have to make an effort to see where other people are coming from.
Do your best to put yourself in their situation and see things from their point of view.
Who knows, you might even learn something new, right?
My advice is to just agree to disagree and respect your differences.
Instead, what you’ll want to do is to lead the conversation into topics that both of you are interested in.
If you’re wondering how to be more likeable, explore as many mutual interests as you can.
By doing so, you’ll be able to connect with others much faster.
10. Be Positive
Don’t you hate it when you’re around someone who complains all the time?
If so, then avoid being that person.
If you want to figure out how to be more easy going, you have to be able to manage your emotions.
Regardless of what’s happening, it’s important that you stay cool, calm, and collected.
From my experience, the best way to do this is to have a mindfulness practice.
Every morning, try to meditate for a few minutes.
Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and just observe your thoughts without any judgment.
I would also recommend you journal regularly as well.
Set aside some time to empty your mind and put your thoughts on paper.
By doing these things, you’ll be able to think more objectively.
You’ll be able to analyze whatever is in your head and reframe limiting beliefs into something that empowers you.
This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful situations.
When you can maintain a calm demeanor consistently, people will feel more comfortable in your presence.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to be more easy going, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
Need More Help?
If you want to become outgoing as a techie introvert, our program might be a fit for you.