Do you experience a great deal of discomfort whenever you’re in a social situation?
If so, then you need to figure out how to relax around people.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to learn how to be less self-conscious.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Manage Your Expectations
Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them.
They’re so afraid of making a mistake that they stifle their personality in order to fit in.
That’s why they don’t speak up and just keep to themselves when they’re around people.
If you’re wondering how to overcome social anxiety and shyness, you have to be able to manage your expectations.
Check out this podcast interview with Justin Stenstrom, Founder of Elite Man Magazine, where he talks about how to manage your social anxiety.
Believe it or not, nobody is paying as much attention to you as might think.
The reality is, most people are so concerned about themselves anyway.
They don’t have time to worry about you.
That’s why it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake or do something embarrassing in public.
I can almost guarantee you that most people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home.
By having this perspective, you’ll start to care less about what others think.
This will help you act more like yourself in any situation.
2. Figure Out What Scares You
It’s human nature to be afraid of the unknown.
If you want to learn how to relax around people, you have to figure out what scares you.
I recommend you take the time to identify events and circumstances that make you nervous.
For example, do you feel anxious when you talk to someone you’re attracted to?
How about approaching a group of people during a networking event?
Maybe going to a party where you don’t know anybody there?
Whatever is it, just put your thoughts on paper.
Being able to see what you’re thinking about will help you become more objective.
When you can analyze your disempowering thoughts better, they become less scary and intimidating.
You’ll free up your mind from your worries which will help you come up with potential solutions to your problems.
3. Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Most individuals who struggle to interact with people tend to focus on the worst-case scenario.
They exaggerate failure in their heads and often imagine how badly things will go.
They think about it so much that it cripples them from taking action.
Does this sound like you?
If so and you’re wondering how to relax around people, you have to get good at challenging your assumptions.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be talkative and overcome your shyness.
Don’t just believe what your mind tells you right away.
For example, let’s say you’re at a social event and you want to talk to someone you find interesting.
Instead of automatically assuming they’re not going to like you, why not test your beliefs?
What if they did like you and the conversation went well?
That could happen too, you know?
When you start questioning your disempowering thoughts, you’ll realize that nothing really bad ever happens when you put yourself out there.
4. Educate Yourself
If you’re like most of our clients in our social skills coaching program, you’ve probably spent way too much time acquiring technical skills.
And because of that, you may have neglected to improve your social skills in the process.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for education to help you advance professionally.
But if you’re willing to invest time and money in your career, why wouldn’t you do the same to help you build relationships with others?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Remember, you have to talk to people every single day.
If you’re socially inept, you’re severely handicapping yourself from creating more opportunities in every area of your life.
That’s why learning how to be more socially confident is one of the best skills you’ll ever learn.
To help you get started, I highly encourage you to fill in the knowledge gaps.
Start the process of educating yourself on how to be more outgoing.
You can read books about it, listen to podcasts or watch videos around this topic.
Also, if you want to avoid analysis paralysis, avoid consuming information that you can’t put into action right away.
In this case, if you’re still having trouble starting a conversation, you shouldn’t be reading about how to make people laugh.
You won’t be able to implement any of it.
Does that make sense?
By prioritizing your learning, you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to get better at conversation much easier.
5. Prepare As Much As You Can
If the thought of going to a social gathering terrifies you, then you need to mitigate the fear of the unknown.
By preparing ahead of time, you’ll feel less anxious and you’ll prevent yourself from canceling on events that you want to go to last minute.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be talkative and social.
To help you get started, do a bit of research on a particular get-together that you’re planning on going to.
Try to anticipate what topics might come up in conversation.
And then write out some stories that you can potentially share.
If you think about it, most people usually talk about their work, their upbringing, places they’ve been to, events they’ve attended, and their interests.
Am I right?
I would also encourage you to familiarize yourself with current events.
Find some reputable news websites and bookmark them.
Check out their social media accounts as well before you head out.
That way, you can stay up-to-date with trending topics.
By doing so, you’ll experience less approach anxiety and be able to contribute in any group conversation a lot easier.
You’ll figure out how to avoid awkward silences because you’ve taken the time to come up with things to say.
6. Think Of What’s Good About You
Let me ask you a question.
How can you expect others to like you if you don’t even like yourself?
If you want to know how to relax around people, you have to think of what’s good about you.
In fact, focusing on your positive traits is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.
When you do this long enough, you’ll improve your self-image and raise your self-esteem.
You’ll realize that you actually have a lot to offer in any interaction.
As a result, you’ll see yourself as a high-value person and you won’t be as intimidated talking to others.
7. Make Gradual Improvements
If you want to figure out how to relax around people, you have to confront your fears.
The best way to do this is to gradually expose yourself to situations that you’re afraid of.
For example, let’s say you’re terrified of talking to strangers.
To help you overcome that fear, you can start just by making eye contact and smiling at people who walk past you.
Once you’re comfortable doing that, say hello and ask them how their day is going.
Later on, you can engage people in small talk and try to have longer conversations.
Do you see how that works?
When you’re starting out, you need to lower the bar so you can build positive momentum.
Just pick the easiest and simplest thing that you can do and get started there.
Keep doing that until you have a good handle on it.
And then, incrementally make things more challenging for you until you can finally do the thing that you’re afraid of.
By doing this consistently, you’ll build your courage and overcome the fear of rejection.
You’ll be less afraid to take risks which will make you feel more empowered.
8. Look More Approachable
Remember, nobody can read your mind.
If you look like you don’t want to be bothered, then people might get the wrong impression.
If you’re wondering how to overcome social anxiety and shyness, you have to appear more friendly.
Make sure you stand up straight, have your chin up and avoid crossing your arms and legs.
Maintain proper eye contact when you talk to someone and have a genuine smile on your face.
By knowing how to be approachable, more people are going to be inclined to interact with you.
9. Take The Attention Away From Yourself
People who don’t feel comfortable in social situations are always in their heads.
They’re constantly wondering what others might be thinking about them.
If you want to figure out how to overcome social anxiety and shyness, you have to be able to take the focus away from yourself.
The best way to do this is to view yourself as a student and be interested in learning about others.
Follow your curiosity and really try and get to know the person you’re talking to.
The truth is we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we like people who like us.
The next time you interact with someone, be there fully and give them your undivided attention.
Stop thinking about yourself, be present, and really try to see where they’re coming from.
Actively listen, ask open-ended questions and encourage them to share more.
By doing this, you’ll make anybody you’ll talk to feel special and that’s how you become more memorable.
10. Find Your Role Models
As the saying goes, success leaves clues and all you have to do is follow them.
If you want to know how to overcome social anxiety and shyness, you have to find your role models.
Make an effort to learn from those who are socially successful by studying them.
Pay attention to how they think, the way they act, and how they communicate with others.
And then, do your best to emulate them as much as you can.
Remember, you become the average of the people you spend the most time with.
If at all possible, try to be around charismatic individuals as much as you can.
That way, their mindsets, and behaviors will rub off on you which will help you become socially adept as well.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
That way, there will be no more guesswork because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll also have someone give you feedback and accountability as well.
You’ll see results a lot quicker and you’ll be able to finally get this part of your life handled.
11. Stop Beating Yourself Up Mentally
Personally, I’ve worked with a lot of shy introverts in the past.
From what I’ve noticed, they have a bad habit of replaying their mistakes in their heads over and over again.
That’s why they don’t feel good about themselves.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
If you’re wondering how to relax around people, stop beating yourself up mentally.
You don’t need to keep punishing yourself by ruminating about embarrassing things that happened to you.
Once you’ve learned your lessons, then forget about the past.
Instead, make a conscious effort to consistently remind yourself of your previous wins.
By doing so, you’ll feel more determined and motivated to keep taking action.
12. Keep A Journal
Remember, there’s nothing more encouraging than seeing progress.
If you want to know how to relax around people, I suggest you keep a journal.
That way, you can keep track of how you’re doing and see tangible results that you’ve achieved after a period of time.
Personally, I’ve been journaling daily for many years now and it’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done.
I actually love re-reading my old notes because it makes me realize how far I’ve come.
To help you get started, I suggest you write down your wins and lessons every time you come home from a social gathering.
By taking the time to reflect, you can be more strategic with how you go about things.
You’ll see what you’re doing well and what you still need to work on.
That way, you can consistently make progress which makes succeeding socially inevitable.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to relax around people, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on challenging your assumptions or on taking the focus away from yourself?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.