Are you tired of spending a lot of time by yourself?
If so, then you need to figure out how to have a social life.
Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to meet like-minded friends and overcome my social awkwardness.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Educate Yourself
Having no social life is a common problem that I see with a lot of our clients in our social skills coaching program.
From my experience, those who struggle socially simply lack awareness and experience around this topic.
It’s not like they teach this stuff in school or at home, right?
As mentioned before, if you want to know how to build a social life, you need to figure out how to be more outgoing.
It’s a skill that can be developed like playing an instrument or learning a new sport.
For now, start the process of improving your social confidence by educating yourself.
You can read books about it, listen to podcasts, and watch videos around this topic.
And then, do what you can to implement the things that you’re learning on a regular basis.
The more action you take, the faster you’ll learn how to interact with people.
But if you want to get results much faster, consider working with a social skills coach.
There will be no more guesswork for you because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll also have someone give you feedback on how you’re doing and keep you accountable so you don’t procrastinate.
As a result, you’ll get results much faster and finally feel in control of this part of your life.
2. Set Your Social Goals
Remember, you become the average of the people you spend time with.
That’s why you have to know how to build a social circle intentionally.
You can’t help but adopt the mindsets and behaviors of those you’re around frequently.
But before you go out and put yourself out there, set your social goals first.
Take a moment to define what type of people you would like to connect with.
The best way to do this is to clarify your core values.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
By taking the time to identify what matters to you, you’ll be able to figure out how to build a social life a lot easier.
This is especially true if you’re a shy introvert.
Since you have limited energy to socialize, you have to be more strategic with your approach to making new connections
For example, let’s say you want to meet other individuals who are creative, fit, and ambitious.
Where do you think they hang out?
Based on my experience, you’d probably find them at personal development events, group fitness classes, and trendy coffee shops.
Remember, you can’t find the right people if you show up at the wrong places.
By setting your social goals first, you can be more effective with how you go about building your network.
3. Avoid Isolating Activities
Remember, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
That’s why I recommend you cut back on watching television and playing video games for now.
Whatever you do, avoid any activities that isolate you.
Not to mention, if you want to learn how to be interesting, you need to do more interesting things.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be socially confident and outgoing.
If you want to know how to get a social life, I recommend you take up a new hobby with a social component to it.
That way, you get to develop a new skill while meeting like-minded people.
For example, you can join a co-ed volleyball group.
You can also sign up for kickboxing.
Taking any partner-style dance class like salsa is a good option as well.
If you hate going to bars and clubs to socialize, you don’t have to.
You just need to find creative ways to meet people while doing something that you enjoy.
4. Touch Base With Old Friends
If you have no social life and you want to build one, start with the people you already know.
To help you get started, just think of individuals you used to hang out with like old friends, former co-workers, or previous classmates.
And then, just give them a call or hit them up on social media.
Check in to see how they’re doing and schedule a time to hang out.
As you can see, this whole process doesn’t have to be complicated.
You just need to plan for it and take the time to reach out to them.
Keeping in touch with people you already know will give you some quick wins since you have some sort of rapport with them.
All you have to do is rekindle that connection.
5. Meet Your Neighbors
If you think about it, you spend a good chunk of your time at home.
That’s where you sleep, relax and get ready for the day.
That being said, why not make an effort to get to know the people who live close to you?
Connecting with your neighbors is really simple.
All you have to do is knock on their door and introduce yourself.
If you want to go the extra mile, you can bring them treats as well.
I know making small talk for introverts isn’t their favorite thing to do.
But if you have no social life and you want to get one, this is something that you need to develop as well.
In order to build rapport with strangers, you have to be able to exchange polite pleasantries with them first.
Also, if you live in a condo like me, I suggest you strike up a conversation with whoever’s in the lobby or the person you share the elevator with.
You see these people regularly anyway so why not take the time to get to know them as well.
Even if nothing comes out of it, you still got learn how to improve your conversation skills, right?
6. Connect With People At Work
If you’re like everybody else, you probably have to go to work and earn a living to provide for yourself.
Since you’re there anyway, you might as well get to know your peers, right?
Check out this video if you want to know how to have a social life after college.
Being able to get along with your co-workers has a lot of benefits to it.
Not only will you enjoy your job better, but you’ll also increase the probability of getting promoted to a leadership position as well.
If you want to know how to be more likeable, always put the spotlight on others.
At the end of the day, we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we like people who like us.
On that note, be curious about others and have a genuine desire to get to know them.
Also, make an effort to explore as many common interests as you can.
By doing so, you increase the feelings of sameness with whoever you interact.
As a result, people will feel a lot closer to you.
7. Look For Volunteering Opportunities
If you want to meet people with similar interests, I recommend you volunteer for causes that you believe in.
To help you get started, review your social goals again and look up local organizations that support that.
For example, if you love dogs, go to a rescue shelter.
If religion is something that matters to you, help out your church.
If you have a particular skill that you’re good at, see if there’s a place where you can teach that for free.
Do you see how that works?
Not only is giving back a rewarding feeling but you’ll also connect with other like-minded individuals a lot faster.
8. Ask For Introductions
As someone who’s moved and traveled a lot, I had to figure out how to make friends in a new city over and over again.
If you have no social life, one of the best ways to get one is to get introductions from people you already know.
Now, you don’t need to relocate in order to implement this.
All you have to do is reach out to your network and ask them if they know other people that they think you should connect with.
Doing this is a great way to expand your social circle very rapidly.
Since a mutual connection brought both of you together, you’ll have an instant rapport with whoever you get introduced to.
Remember, people can’t read your mind.
If you’re wondering how to get a social life, now’s not the time to be shy.
You have to be more assertive and take responsibility for yourself.
The more you ask for what you want, the more likely you are to get it.
9. Keep An Open Mind
At the end of the day, building an awesome social circle is still going to be a number’s game.
That’s why you’ll want to create as many opportunities as you can to socialize and meet new people.
Like I said earlier, nothing happens when you don’t leave your house.
Fight the urge to do what’s comfortable and be willing to take more risks.
As intimidating as it could be, say “yes” and accept all valid invitations from others.
For example, attend a party even if you don’t know a lot of people there.
Go for a drink with a new acquaintance so you can get to know each other better.
You can also join your friends when they go out on the weekend.
Again, keep an open mind and try things you normally wouldn’t.
And you know what?
Sometimes you’ll like it and sometimes you learn.
Either way, you’ll always walk away with a new experience and an interesting story to share in your future conversations.
10. Make Friends Online
These days, almost everyone is using social media.
That’s why it’s not so weird to meet people on the internet now.
Personally, I’ve made great connections online that have translated into meaningful in-person relationships.
If you have no social life and you want to build one, feel free to leverage the internet as well.
Check out this podcast interview with Pablo Rosario, Relationship Coach, where he talks about how to make friends on social media.
Doing this is not that complicated.
You just have to implement the same ideas as if you were to connect with people in real life.
To help you get started, figure out what kind of people you want to meet first.
And then, do some research on where you can find them online.
For example, you could join Facebook groups, look up Instagram pages or just reach out to them on LinkedIn.
In any case, make sure you have a social media profile that’s an accurate representation of yourself.
Have a good headshot, write an interesting description in your bio, and have an eye-catching banner.
Make sure you post content that also showcases your personality as well.
Show up at the right places and engage with other people’s content.
Once you have enough rapport, see if they’d be open to hopping on a video call with you.
Eventually, you can invite them out to hang out offline and meet in person.
11. Host More Events
If you’re wondering how to build a social life, one of the best ways to do it is to host your own events.
Doing so elevates your status among your peers because you’re the one taking the initiative to plan something together.
For example, you can host a barbecue at your place.
You can organize a picnic at the park.
Or you can just invite people out to go for drinks at a restaurant.
As you can see, doing this doesn’t have to be elaborate or complicated.
Throwing your own parties is also how you get invited to other people’s events as well.
Those who attend your get-togethers will want to return the favor and ask you out when they organize something themselves.
If you keep this up, you’ll expand your network rapidly because you’re now tapping into other people’s connections.
12. Maintain Your Friendships
The older you get, the easier it is to get caught up with responsibilities that life throws at you.
Next thing you know, weeks, months, and sometimes even years go by and all you’ve done is just go to work, go home and watch Netflix.
If you have no social life and you want to know how to get one, you have to be able to maintain your friendships.
Make a conscious effort to keep in touch with people that you know and continuously add value to their lives.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
For example, I use social media to stay up-to-date with important life events with those in my network.
When I see a Facebook notification that it’s their birthday or watch an Instagram story of them celebrating something, I make sure to give them a call.
If I know someone who’s struggling with a topic that I’m familiar with, I share free advice or lend them one of my books.
As mentioned before, I also do my best to host social events so I can keep in touch with multiple people at once.
I know this sounds like a lot of work but there’s really no way around it.
Keep in mind that everything worthwhile takes time.
If you want lifelong friendships, then you need to be willing to put in the effort to nurture your connections.
13. Don’t Assume Anything
It’s easy to feel discouraged when you don’t hear back from your friends and acquaintances right away.
In fact, the fear of rejection holds a lot of individuals back from reaching out to others and putting themselves out there.
But if you want to learn how to get a social life, you have to figure out how to not take things personally.
To give you an example, I had a friend who didn’t reply to my messages for a while.
He never responded to my texts or returned any of my phone calls.
To be honest with you, it pissed me off at first.
Later on, I found out that he had a loved one pass away and was going through a grieving period.
The point that I’m trying to make is you just have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
So instead of making negative assumptions, I suggest you try to see the best in others.
Personally, I’ve had friends for decades now.
And from my experience, great relationships take patience, compromise, and persistence.
That’s why you should put all your focus and energy on what you can do and the rest, you just have to let it go.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to have a social life, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to avoid isolating activities or touch base with old friends?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.