Learning how to make friends in a new city as an introvert can be challenging.

But, it’s definitely doable.

Personally, I’ve traveled all over Canada, the US, and Asia.

As a result, I’ve had to figure out how to build a social circle from scratch over and over again.

Today, I want to share with you exactly how I did it so make sure you stick around until the very end.

How To Make Friends In A New City When You’re Shy

1. Clarify Your Social Goals

As an introvert, you have limited energy to socialize.

That’s why you have to be more intentional with your approach to figuring out how to meet like-minded friends.

The best way to learn how to put yourself out there is to identify what kind of people you want to connect with first.

And then, make sure your actions are in alignment with your social goals.

That way, you can be more purposeful with your efforts.

To give you an example from my own life, I wanted to connect with other creative, fit, and ambitious individuals.

That’s why whenever I move to a new city, I look for trendy coffee shops, personal development events, and group fitness classes.

Not only do I like going to those venues myself, I also know that my kind of people all spend time there.

Again, if you’re wondering how to make friends in a new city as an introvert, take the time to clarify what’s important to you.

By doing so, you’ll be able to figure out the right places and events to find your people much faster.

2. Leverage Your Existing Network

If you get along well with your friends from your hometown, they might know some people that you’ll like in your current location.

That’s why asking for introductions from your network is one of the best things that you can do as an introvert.

All you have to do is to reach out to your existing social circle.

And then, ask them if they know anyone worth meeting up with where you’re currently at.

You can post about it on social media or just message people privately.

When I left Calgary to live in Vancouver for a few years, this is actually one of the strategies that I implemented.

So, as soon as I arrived on the West Coast, I already had people who I could hang out with.

The nice thing about getting introduced by a mutual connection is that the person you’re about to meet will have a good impression of you already.

They’re most likely going to go out of their way to make you feel welcome and show you around.

I’ve also applied this same strategy when I spent a few months in Austin and Toronto.

Time and time again, I’m always impressed by how effective it is.

3. Meet People At Work

As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with over 100 introverts in the past.

Most of them want to learn how to make friends in a new city because they have to relocate for their careers.

And if you think about it, you probably spend at least a third of your day at work, right?

So why not make the most out of it and connect with your peers?

That being said if you want to come across as a likeable person right away, be curious about others.

Ask them open-ended questions, listen to them, and share related stories.

Remember, we tend to be fond of people who are similar to us.

That’s why you’ll want to increase the feelings of sameness when you interact with others.

You can do this by exploring as many mutual interests as possible.

Once you have good enough rapport, you can tap into their network as well.

Ask them if they can introduce you to other people that they think you might get along with.

4. Look For Local Events

From my experience, most cities typically have websites and social media accounts dedicated to promoting what’s happening locally.

All you have to do is to spend a bit of time doing research online.

For example, when I moved from Calgary to Vancouver, the first thing that I did was go on Google.

I typed something like “Things to do in Vancouver.”

For you, you can try variations of that search term for your city and sift through the results.

You’ll usually find websites that are updated regularly by local bloggers.

These are people who write about current events and activities happening in the city.

Once you find those websites, make sure you bookmark them.

Try to find their social media accounts as well.

That way, you can access the information that you need quickly when you’re looking for activities to do.

Visit them regularly to find things that interest you.

For now, I recommend going to websites like Meetup, Eventbrite, and Facebook. 

From my experience, those are all good places to start.

5. Give More Than You Take

Imagine what would happen to your bank account if you withdraw more than you deposit.

You’ll be in the red in no time, right?

The same ideas apply to relationships.

Don’t be the type of person who only reaches out to others when you need something.

I know people like that and it gets pretty annoying after a while.

Instead, make an effort to always be adding value to your friends’ lives.

To help you get started, just ask them if there’s something that they’re working on.

And then, find a way to help them out.

And it doesn’t have to be anything big.

It could be as simple as recommending a book.

If you know someone who can assist them, feel free to make that introduction.

If they ask, you can give them advice on something that you happen to be good at.

When you do this consistently, you’ll build lasting friendships with others.

You’ll also have people who’ll help you out in your time of need.

How To Socialize As An Introvert

1. Go To The Same Places Regularly

Moving to a new city means you have to re-establish your old routines.

You have to find out where to buy groceries, have a meal, and work out as well.

That’s why for the first few weeks, I recommend you just walk around your new area.

Take some time to explore what’s close by and evaluate all your options.

Once you’ve picked a few spots that you like, integrate yourself into those places.

You can do this by getting to know the people you interact with on a daily basis.

Tell them that you’re still finding your way around and you’re looking for recommendations.

From my experience, most people have been really accommodating and caring.

They went took the time to make suggestions about different things that I could potentially do.

Some of them even introduced me to people that they think I should connect with.

Again, that’s why it’s so important to be vulnerable and ask for help from others.

2. Accept Valid Invitations

As an introvert, you like to recharge by spending time alone.

But if you want to figure out how to make friends in a new city, you need to limit activities that isolate you for too long.

As intimidating as it could be, say “yes” and accept all valid invitations.

Keep an open mind and be courageous.

Even if you only go out for a couple of hours, that’s totally okay. 

At the end of the day, learning how to meet like-minded friends is still going to be a number’s game.

That’s why you need to learn how to put yourself out there and create more opportunities to interact with people.

3. Use Social Media Strategically

At this point, you’ve gone out a few times and have probably met a few people that you get along with.

So what do you do next?

My suggestion is to leverage social media to follow up with new acquaintances.

Check out this podcast interview with Pablo Rosario, Relationship Coach, where he talks about how to make friends on social media.

For me, I like to connect with them on platforms that I often use so it’s easy to keep in touch with them.

Personally, I’m pretty active on Facebook and Instagram. 

I post updates and pictures regularly to keep people up-to-date about whatever I’m doing.

I also engage with their content to stay top of mind.

For example, let’s say I see that a significant life event just happened.

It could be a birthday, a promotion, or an engagement.

Instead of just liking or commenting on their posts, I would pick up the phone and give them a call.

And if I’m available, I would even visit them in person to connect with them. 

If you’re an introvert and you want to learn how to bond with others, make an effort to keep in touch with people.

Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, use it intentionally to enhance your interactions with your friends offline.

4. Volunteer For Causes You Believe In

I can’t think of a better way to learn how to make friends in a new city than by volunteering.

From my experience, you’ll meet some of the kindest people out there when you do this.

Think about it, they could’ve been doing anything else.

But they chose to spend their free time helping others.

In my opinion, those are the types of individuals that you’ll want in your life.

To help you get started, go back to your social goals.

And then choose a cause that aligns with that.

For example, if you love dogs, go to a rescue shelter.

If religion is something that matters to you, help out your church.

If you have a particular skill that you’re good at, see if there’s a place where you can teach that.

At this point, do some research online and look for volunteering opportunities.

Once you find the ones that you like, put them on your calendar and commit to showing up.

5. Host Small Gatherings

Keep in mind that at any party, the host always has the highest social value.

Once you’ve met some like-minded people, organize a small gathering.

That way, you can bring everyone that you’ve met together.

Believe it or not, doing this is actually not that complicated.

For me, I like to invite people out for dinner or to go for happy hour.

Whatever it is, just take the initiative and plan something out.

On a side note, throwing events is also a great way to get invited to other parties as well.

People will want you to come to their events to reciprocate your kind gesture.

Again, now you’re tapping into other people’s social circles.

If you keep this up, you’re going to grow your network in a very short amount of time.

How Do Introverts Talk To New People?

I know making small talk for introverts isn’t their favorite thing to do.

But, if you want to figure out how to make friends in a new city, this is also something you need to get good at.

If you think about it, every single relationship started because someone said something to someone, right?

That’s why you have to be able to have casual conversations with people that you come across on a regular basis. 

To help you get started, all you have to do is to pay attention to what’s happening around you.

Use your environment to help you come up with small talk topics that you can discuss.

You can either make a comment, ask a question or give someone a compliment.

The key here is to get out of your head and follow your curiosity.

Avoid filtering yourself and just say the first thing that comes to mind.

Personally, I’ve met lots of great people implementing this advice.

You just have to decide to make the first move and start conversations with strangers.

The more risks you’re willing to take, the faster you’ll figure out how to have a social life.

Why Is It Hard For Introverts To Make Friends?

It’s hard for introverts to make friends because they don’t have a lot of experience putting themselves out there.

And the truth is, it’s easy to feel discouraged when you don’t see results right away.

If that sounds like you, you have to manage your expectations.

Check out this video if you want to have a social life and not feel so lonely.

Remember, you don’t fully know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Speaking from experience, I’ve reached out to people before and I didn’t hear from them for a long time.

And then, later on, I found out that they were dealing with some issues, they were out of town or they were busy at work.

Whatever the case may be, you have to learn how to not take things personally.

Also, building any type of relationship, whether it’s personal, romantic, or professional, doesn’t happen overnight.

That’s why you have to be patient with yourself.

You’ll create more meaningful connections eventually if you keep at it and don’t quit.

To help you maintain your motivation, remember to connect with the emotions behind your goals.

Focus on what you want and why you want it.

Doing this will make sure you stay on track so that you keep going even when things get tough.

Conclusion

If you’re wondering how to make friends in a new city as an introverts, I just shared with you my best tips.

Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.