From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially don’t know what to do when there is a lull in conversation.
That’s why today, we’re going to talk about how to break awkward silence.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to always have something to talk about in any situation.
What You'll Learn In This Post
What Is A Lull In Conversation?
A lull in conversation is when you have a quiet moment when both people aren’t saying anything.
Is It Normal To Have A Lull In Conversation?
It’s totally normal to have a lull in conversation depending on what’s being discussed.
Personally, I need some time to gather my thoughts or I just forgot what I was going to say.
However, this becomes an issue when it happens so frequently that it makes whoever you interact with feel uncomfortable.
What To Do When There Is A Lull In Conversation
1. Stop Trying To Impress Others
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of recovering people pleasers in the past.
Because they don’t feel good enough on their own, they seek validation from others.
That’s why they put so much pressure on themselves to impress others.
And because they don’t feel relaxed, they freeze up and they can’t come up with anything to say during the interaction.
Check out this podcast interview with John Sonmez, Founder of Bulldog Mindset, where he talks about how to develop mental toughness.
If you can relate to this, then you know that trying way too hard has the opposite effect.
Instead of people liking you, you end up acting more awkward and giving off a weird vibe.
If you’re wondering what to do when there is a lull in conversation, stop trying to impress others.
Just focus on expressing yourself, trust that what you have to say is good enough, and that the right people will want to hear you out.
To make this work, you have to learn how to like yourself.
Practice self-compassion and make a conscious effort to think more about your positive traits.
The more you do this, the more you’ll value your opinion.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to not be quiet and become more outspoken when you’re around people.
2. Think Of What You Want To Say
It doesn’t matter if you’re going to a networking event, a house party, or on a first date.
Similar topics will tend to come up for the most part.
Use that knowledge to your advantage and come up with things to share in advice.
Take the time to think of interesting ways to discuss your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, and your interests.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
By preparing in advance, you’ll be able to respond confidently the next time these topics get brought up.
You won’t get caught off guard because you know how to talk about different areas of your life in a captivating way.
I would also recommend you familiarize yourself with current events.
Find some reputable news websites and bookmark them.
Also, check out their social media accounts before you head out.
That way, you can stay up-to-date with trending topics.
Remember, preparation breeds confidence.
That’s why you really need to take the time to come up with things to discuss with others in advance.
By doing so, you’ll feel more at ease in any situation because you know you have something valuable to share.
3. Volunteer Information
A common mistake that I see a lot of shy introverts commit is giving one-word answers when people ask them questions.
If you’re wondering how to avoid awkward silences during your interactions, avoid doing this at all costs.
Whoever you’re talking to will find it difficult to keep engaging with you because you’re not giving them a whole lot to work with.
Check out this video if you want to become more talkative and less quiet.
For example, let’s say you’re a data scientist and someone’s wondering what you do for work.
Make an effort to elaborate more on your response and feel free to volunteer information about yourself.
Talk about what got you into your career and what you like about it.
Leave out necessary facts and use simple words to make yourself more relatable to others.
By doing so, you’ll come across as someone more interesting and people will want to keep interacting with you.
4. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Asking closed-ended questions will make your interactions sound like an interview.
Because they only require one word to get an answer, you’ll be forced to ask another question to get more information.
In order for your interactions to feel more effortless, try asking more open-ended questions instead.
Since they require more of an explanation, you encourage the person you’re chatting with to share more.
For example, instead of asking “Do you like your job?” You can ask “What do you like most about your job?”
Do you see the difference?
The better you are at doing this, the easier it’ll be for you to maintain a conversation with anybody.
You’ll figure out how to avoid awkward silences and be able to have more enjoyable interactions with others.
5. Get Good At Telling Stories
Keep in mind that every action has an equal reaction.
If you’ve ever told a story that didn’t get the response you were hoping for then you need to make adjustments.
You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
That’s why you have to take the time to learn how to tell good stories.
The next time you share something, make sure you structure it well.
You’ll want to give some background information first and create contrast if it applies.
Use descriptive words to engage the senses by talking about what you saw, what you heard, what you smelled, what you tasted, and how it felt.
Obviously, you don’t need to use all of them, just whatever is relevant.
By using descriptive words, you make anything you share sound more interesting.
And then, release the tension you’ve built up when you conclude your story and make your point.
If you’re not used to talking in this manner, this will definitely require some preparation and practice.
Like I said earlier, I recommend you take the time to write out a few stories ahead of time.
If you’re willing to, I recommend you record yourself as well.
That way, you can observe your delivery and hear how you sound.
This will make the necessary adjustments before you go out and socialize with others.
6. Bring Up Earlier Topics
Those who struggle socially approach their interactions in a very linear manner.
If you want to know when there is a lull in conversation, feel free to bring up earlier topics.
If the person you’re chatting with said something that interests you, then talk about that again.
The key to making this work is to be present and to be a good listener.
View yourself as a student, follow your curiosity and be open to learning something new.
Also, you have to get good at asking follow-up questions.
You can say things like “Tell me more about that” or “What’s that like?”
People love talking about themselves anyway so go ahead and let them.
And if you think about it, the more they talk, the more information you have to work with, right?
That could trigger other topics that both of you can potentially discuss.
The better you are at maintaining a conversation, the more quality connections you’re going to make.
7. Be More Observant
As a former shy guy, I used to be jealous of those who can come up with things to talk about on the spot.
To me, it seems like they have an endless supply of interesting ideas that they can share with others.
The more I looked into it, I realized that they’re using their environment or the situation they’re in to jog their memory.
Check out this video if you want to become talkative and never run out of things to say.
If you want to know what to do when there is a lull in conversation, you need to train yourself to be more observant.
Get out of your head and notice what’s happening around you.
Use your imagination by thinking about what certain things remind you of.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to never run out of things to say ever again.
To make this work, you have to be playful, use your imagination and be creative.
Stop filtering yourself and just say the first thing that comes to mind.
If you’re wondering how to not be quiet, get used to thinking out loud when you’re around people.
The more you do this, the more you train yourself to think quickly on your feet.
8. Focus On The Other Person
Most people who struggle socially tend to ruminate a lot.
They’re stuck in their heads imagining what others might be thinking about them.
If you want to know how to be a social butterfly, you need to take the focus away from yourself and put it on others instead.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
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As mentioned before, give whoever you’re with your full and undivided attention.
Ask yourself what’s so interesting about the person you’re speaking with?
Have a genuine desire to get to know someone and keep the conversation going from that place.
People love talking about themselves anyway so go ahead and let them.
By showing genuine interest in others, you’ll come across as someone charismatic as well.
Whoever you talk to will feel more seen, heard, and understood.
They’ll leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
If you want to know how to be memorable in social situations, this is one of the best ways to do it.
9. Get Comfortable With The Silence
Like I said earlier, it’s totally normal to have quiet moments during your interactions.
If you want to know how to get better at conversations, you have to be able to sit with the silence.
The next time you talk to someone, avoid being so quick to respond when they’re done speaking.
You don’t need to rush yourself to say something just to fill in the void.
Feel free to take a moment to pause and reflect.
Just let what the other person said sink in and use this time to formulate your ideas.
By being okay with having quiet moments, you’ll feel a lot more at ease in any social situation.
You’ll be able to think better which will prevent you from saying something you don’t mean during your interactions.
10. End The Conversation
As the saying goes, every good thing must come to an end.
The same ideas apply to any conversation.
If you’re starting to feel like you’re just dragging things on, it’s best to conclude the interaction.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to ask the person you’re chatting with about their plans are for the rest of the day.
Once you’ve told them about what you’re up to as well, you can smoothly transition your way out of the conversation.
My advice is to always end things on a high note.
That way, you and the person you just chatted with will have positive feelings about each other.
As a result, both of you will look forward to the next time you hang out again.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering what to do when there is a lull in conversation, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to stop trying to impress others or on telling good stories?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.