If you want to have more effortless interactions with anybody, then you need to learn how to keep a conversation going.
Today, I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to never run out of things to say.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Do Your Research
It’s totally normal to be afraid of the unknown.
If you tend to be introverted and reserved, attending a social gathering can feel intimidating.
This is especially true if you’re going by yourself and you don’t know anyone there.
That being said, if you want to know how to keep a conversation going, you need to prepare in advance.
Do your research and find out more about the event that you plan on checking out.
And then, try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
For example, if you’re going to a conference, look up the speakers.
If you’re heading to a house party, try to learn more about the organizer.
The same ideas apply if you’re attending a networking function.
I would also encourage you to familiarize yourself with trending topics, popular shows and current events.
I know this sounds like a lot of work but really take the time to come up with potential topics that you can discuss with others.
By doing so, you’ll figure out how to not be quiet and feel more confident talking to anybody.
As a result, you’ll be able to participate in any group conversation much easier.
2. Get Good At Making Small Talk
Most people who struggle socially find it difficult to make small talk.
They want to skip it altogether and jump into more personal topics right away.
Unfortunately, that’s just not how things work.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If you imagine great interactions as a ladder, making small talk are the first few rungs.
You can’t really skip them because they’re necessary to get you to the next level.
And if you think about it, it’s weird to ask a person you don’t know well yet such a big question, right?
That’s why it’s best to take things slow in the beginning.
You’ll want to focus on exchanging polite pleasantries first.
This will help you gather information and learn more about the person you’re chatting with.
That way, you can determine which direction you want the conversation to go.
This will help you bring up topics that both of you are interested in which makes for a more enjoyable interaction.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Have you ever been in a situation where your conversation felt like an interview?
If so, you were probably asking a lot of closed-ended questions which can be answered with one word.
Instead, what you’ll want to do is to ask more open-ended questions.
For example, instead of asking “Do you like this event?” you can ask “What do you think about this event?”
Do you see the difference?
The first question can be answered with a “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.
If you want to figure out how to keep a conversation going, remember to ask more open-ended questions.
Doing so encourages the person you’re chatting with to share more details about themselves.
And if you think about it, the more they talk, the more information you have to work with, right?
That could trigger other topics that both of you can discuss.
If you want to know how to maintain a conversation, this is one of the best ways to do it.
4. Practice Active Listening
How nice does it feel when you know someone is giving you their undivided attention?
It’s pretty awesome, right?
If you want to learn how to keep a conversation going, you need to practice active listening as well.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be likeable as an introvert.
The next time you interact with someone, be present and really try to see where they’re coming from.
Lean forward to show interest and nod in agreement to validate what they’re sharing.
Whatever you do, avoid interrupting someone when they’re talking no matter how excited you are.
Take a moment to pause and wait a few seconds before you respond.
You don’t need to rush yourself to say something just to fill in the void.
By doing these things, you’ll make whoever you talk to feel important.
You’ll become memorable and you’ll stand out in a good way.
They’ll leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
5. Avoid Giving Short Responses
Those who struggle socially have a bad habit of giving one-word answers when people ask them questions.
If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going, avoid doing this at all costs.
Whoever you’re talking to will find it difficult to keep interacting with you because you’re not giving them a whole lot to work with.
For example, let’s say you’re a software engineer and someone’s wondering what you do for work.
Don’t just give them a short response.
Instead, make an effort to volunteer information about yourself.
Feel free to talk about what got you into your career and what you like about it.
If you’re not used to talking in this manner then it might feel self-indulgent at first.
To overcome this limiting belief, trust that what you have to say is important and that people will want to hear you out.
Otherwise, they wouldn’t be chatting with you to begin, right?
6. Explore Mutual Interests
Familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
That’s why we like people who are similar to us.
If you want to figure out how to keep a conversation going, make an effort to be more relatable.
You can do this by exploring mutual interests as much as you can.
The next time you talk to someone, try to point out things that both of you have in common.
For example, let’s say you and the person you’re chatting with work in the same industry.
Then, by all means, keep talking about that.
On the other hand, if an unfamiliar topic comes up, then try to relate emotionally.
You can do this by asking them about their motivation for doing what they do.
You can also ask how certain things make them feel.
From then on, you can bring up a story where you’ve experienced something similar in the past.
In order to make this work, you have to know your stories well and you have to be a good listener.
The better you are at relating to others, the more likeable you’ll come across.
7. Don’t Rush Yourself
Believe it or not, it’s totally normal to have quiet moments during your interactions.
If you want to know how to keep a conversation going, you have to be able to sit with the silence.
The next time you talk to someone, avoid being so quick to respond when they’re done speaking.
Like I said earlier, you don’t need to rush yourself to say something just to fill in the void.
Feel free to take a moment to pause and reflect.
Just let what the other person said sink in.
At that point, you can either say something thoughtful back or just ask a follow-up question.
People love talking about themselves anyway so go ahead and let them.
By being okay with having quiet moments, you’ll feel a lot more relaxed in any social situation.
8. Avoid Using Technical Terms
As a social skills coach, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Because they’re paid based on their technical expertise, they’re not really required to be social.
A conversation mistake that I see a lot of them commit is using jargons when they share something.
They throw around a lot of technical terms that only their co-workers would know about.
As a result, whoever they’re talking to gets confused which makes them feel excluded from the interaction.
Check out this video if you want to know how to express yourself better verbally.
To fix this issue, always use simple words.
Make an effort to explain complicated ideas in a way that’s easy to understand.
You can do this by connecting whatever you’re sharing to something that they’re familiar with.
When you tell your story in a way that’s easy to comprehend, people will be inclined to continue engaging with you.
As a result, you’ll be able to get to know them better and form a deeper connection.
9. Always Be Light-Hearted
Getting into an argument is a quick way to end any interaction.
If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going, always keep things light-hearted.
Whatever you do, stay away from sensitive topics like religion, politics, sex, and race.
A lot of people feel very strongly about those topics.
You might trigger them unnecessarily if you push the wrong buttons.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
Also, try to be more empathetic when you’re talking to someone who sees things differently than you.
Just because both of you have different perspectives on a particular topic doesn’t make them wrong.
The thing is, you don’t even need to agree with them.
You just have to put yourself in their situation and see things from their point of view.
The irony is, even if you win the debate, you’ll still lose because arguing with someone accomplishes nothing.
My advice is to just agree to disagree.
Instead, try to lead the interaction into topics that both of you are interested in.
I know for me, I’d rather be liked by others than be right all the time.
10. Have Interactions Regularly
Building any skill set takes time.
That’s why you have to manage your expectations and be patient with yourself.
If you want to learn how to keep a conversation going, you have to put your reps in.
My advice is for you to start small and practice in easier settings first.
That way, you get some quick wins and build momentum in the right direction.
Check out this podcast interview with Devon Ash, Founder of Ash Approach, where talks about how to get out there and make connections.
For example, you can make small talk with the barista the next time you get your coffee.
Feel free to chit-chat with the cashier at the grocery store.
You can strike up a conversation with the driver when you take an Uber.
By taking action consistently, you’ll gain a lot of positive reference experiences.
Over time, you’ll become more socially adept and figure out how to put yourself out there more.
And once you do, you never have to worry about missing out on opportunities to connect with people again.
The better your social skills are the more meaningful relationships you’re going to have in every area of your life.
That’s why learning how to get better at conversation is one of the best things you can ever do.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to learn to tell good stories or ask more open-ended questions?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.