If you’re tired of missing out on opportunities to connect with others then you need to become more socially adept.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to feel more comfortable interacting with anybody.
What You'll Learn In This Post
What Does It Mean To Be Socially Adept?
When you’re socially adept, that means you have the knowledge and skills to interact with people effectively in your personal, romantic, and professional life.
That means you know how to approach people, have casual conversations with them, you know how to keep a conversation going and you can build rapport with anybody very quickly.
As someone who used to be socially inept, I wanted so badly to become socially adept because from what I’ve seen, they’re usually popular and they just have an easier time in any social situation.
Just know that this is a skill that can be developed and if I can figure out how to be more outgoing, you can too.
How To Become More Socially Adept
1. Stop Taking Things Personally
Rejection hurts because it triggers the same part of our brain when we experience physical pain.
That’s why most of us try to avoid it at all costs.
But if you don’t figure out how to put yourself out there, imagine what kind of life you’re going to have?
I can assure you that it’ll be boring, lame, and uninspiring.
In order to become socially adept, you have to be empathetic.
Instead of always making things about you, put yourself in other people’s situations.
Try to consider where they’re coming from.
The thing is, you just have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
I know for me, I’m not in a very social mood if I’m not feeling all that great.
That being said, the next time someone turns you down, try not to make it about you.
They’re probably just having a bad day when you tried talking to them.
You can’t know for sure what they’re thinking about so avoid jumping into conclusions right away.
When you try to understand other people’s points of view, you’ll figure out how to not take things personally.
As a result, you’ll be a lot more likely to take risks instead of playing it safe.
2. Pay Attention To Your Emotions
Those who struggle socially tend to replay past mistakes in their heads over and over again.
As a result, they often assume the worst-case scenario and imagine how badly things will go.
It’s no wonder they feel nervous and anxious all the time.
Remember, you get more of what you think about the most.
If you want to know how to relax around people, you have to be aware of what you’re focusing on.
You have to separate yourself from your thoughts and be able to choose the ones that empower you.
That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to how you feel.
Remember, a negative emotion is a sign that you’re telling yourself a disempowering story.
Whenever you feel bad, pause, and take a moment to assess what you’re thinking about.
Question your limiting belief to see if it’s true or not.
And then reframe it to something more encouraging.
Doing this will definitely take a bit of practice so be patient with yourself.
After a while, you’ll be able to figure out how to get out of a funk and make yourself feel better.
3. Appear More Friendly
Remember, the majority of your communication is non-verbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
To prove my point, let me ask you a question.
Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have their arms crossed, and has a frown on their face?
Probably not, right?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
That’s why in order to become socially adept, you have to appear more friendly.
Make an effort to work on your non-verbal communication as well.
When you have a more open body language, you signal to others that you’re not a threat to them.
To help you get started, maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.
Remember to stand up straight and avoid crossing your arms or legs.
If you’re wondering how to be approachable, make a conscious effort to do these things.
4. Remind Yourself Of Your Positive Traits
Imagine how good it feels when someone compliments you.
You can give yourself those positive emotions over and over again if you want to.
You can do this by thinking of your positive traits more often.
In fact, this is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.
You see, those who struggle socially tend to do the opposite.
They beat themselves up mentally and have really negative self-talk.
Check out this interview with Justin Stenstrom, Founder of The Elite Man Podcast, where he talks about how to improve your mindset.
If you want to know how to become more socially adept, you have to focus on what you like about yourself more often.
If you do this long enough, you’ll realize that you’re a person of value and that you have a lot to offer in any relationship.
Knowing this will help you raise your self-worth and you’ll be less intimidated by others.
5. Stop Caring About What People Think
If you’re wondering how to develop your social confidence, you have to manage your expectations.
Believe it or not, nobody is paying as much attention to you as you might assume.
Think about it.
Unless it was recent or something really serious happened, you probably don’t remember things that others did, right?
Most people are preoccupied with their own thoughts and are too concerned about their perceived shortcomings.
They don’t have time to worry about you.
Like I said earlier, most people are not judging you as harshly as you may think.
That being said, you might as well do what you want to do and act more like yourself in social situations.
6. Build One Skill At A Time
If you want to figure out how to be socially adept, make sure you start small.
Focus on building one skill at a time and improve gradually.
That way, you’ll see some quick wins and gather positive reference experiences as well.
You’ll prove to yourself that you’re actually capable of having good interactions with others.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be outgoing if you have social anxiety.
Unfortunately, I’ve worked with clients in the past who got some bad advice online and got turned down repeatedly.
As a result, they became jaded and timid.
They just assumed that there’s something wrong with them and that they’re not meant to figure this whole thing out.
To prevent that from happening to you, focus on the easiest thing that you can do first.
For example, you can start just by asking strangers for time or direction.
Once you’re comfortable doing that, then try to make some small talk.
After that, you can figure out how to keep a conversation going and add some witty banter as well.
Do you see how that works?
To prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed, prioritize your learning and build on your social successes.
7. Be Interested In Others
The truth is, we all want to feel important.
That’s why we like people who like us.
If you’re wondering how to become more socially adept, follow your curiosity.
The best way to do this is to think of yourself as a student.
View every interaction eager to learn something new.
The next time you chat with someone, make sure you actively listen.
Be present and give them your undivided attention.
Lean forward to show interest and nod in agreement to encourage the other person to keep sharing.
Ask more open-ended questions and really try to understand where they’re coming from.
When you’re genuinely curious about others, you’ll make them feel seen, heard, and understood.
8. Find A Social Hobby
Becoming more socially adept doesn’t have to be complicated.
The best way to figure out how to put yourself out there is to add a social component to activities that you already like to do.
For example, you can volunteer for a cause that you believe in.
See if there’s a meetup group for a particular interest that you have.
You also can sign up for courses to learn a new skill and meet like-minded people at the same time.
Does that make sense?
The thing is, if you don’t enjoy going to bars and clubs to socialize, there are plenty of other options.
You just need to be creative and intentional with how you go about it.
If you’re wondering how to make friends as an introvert, this is one of the best ways to do it.
9. Be More Observant
Making small talk for introverts is such an important skill to develop.
At the end of the day, you need to know how to have casual conversations with others in order to build rapport with them.
If you’re not sure where to start, try to be more observant.
Get out of your head and use your environment to help you come up with topics that you can discuss.
What you share doesn’t have to be anything profound.
To make this work, you have to stop filtering yourself and just say the first thing that comes to mind.
10. Practice Telling Your Stories
Not knowing what to say is a common issue that I hear a lot from our clients in our social skills coaching program.
If you’re wondering how to be more talkative, preparation is key.
Make sure you take the time to come up with things that you can share with others.
If you think about it, most people usually talk about the same topics over and over again anyway.
That being said, think of interesting ways to discuss your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
Once you have a few stories written out, start incorporating them into your day-to-day interactions.
That way, you can gauge how people respond and be able to make adjustments accordingly.
For example, you can chat with your barista the next time you get your coffee.
Try to engage the cashier at the grocery store.
Talk to your driver the next time you take an Uber.
These small actions may not seem a lot but they do add up to something big eventually.
I know it’s obvious but the more you practice, the faster you’ll learn how to improve your conversation skills.
11. Elaborate On Your Responses
Most people who struggle socially have a bad habit of giving short responses when someone asks them a question.
This makes it difficult for anybody to keep talking to them because they don’t have a whole lot to work with.
If you’re wondering how to become socially adept, try to volunteer information about yourself as well.
Avoid giving one-word answers and elaborate on your responses.
Check out this video if you want to become more talkative with others.
For example, let’s say someone asks you what you do for fun.
If that’s the case, feel free to talk about your hobbies, what got you into it and how it makes you feel.
The more details you share, the easier it’ll be for others to maintain a conversation with you.
They’ll have more information available to them which could trigger other topics that both of you can discuss.
12. Get The Right Feedback
It’s hard to make improvements if you don’t know exactly what to work on.
That’s why you need to have someone show you your blind spots.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
For now, what I want you to do is to ask people that you trust for some honest feedback.
Get them to tell you what you’re doing well and what you could do better in social situations.
A word of caution here, you may not like some things that you’re going to hear.
For example, someone can tell you you’re too serious, you’re too quiet, or that you ramble a lot.
As hurtful as those things could be, try not to take it personally.
Clearly, there’s a reason why people are saying those things about you right?
Learn from it and use it to improve your interactions in the future.
By doing this, you’ll get a better understanding of yourself, how you show up for others, and what you can do differently.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to become socially adept, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to stop taking things personally or work on being more interested in others?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.