Would you like to have more people to hang out with because you’re tired of being lonely?
Today, we’re going to talk about how to build a social circle and create more fulfilling connections in your life.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to be less self-conscious and make new friends.
What You'll Learn In This Post
What Does Too Much Loneliness Do?
Too much loneliness isn’t good for your overall health and well-being.
You see, as human beings, we’re meant to be around each other.
If you isolate yourself for an extended period of time, you’ll start to feel anxious and depressed.
This can have a negative impact on the way you see yourself which can cause you to not want to go out and do anything.
And now, you’re stuck in a vicious circle which can be challenging to get out of.
Why Am I So Tired Of Being Alone?
If you’re wondering why you feel tired of being alone, I can relate to you
Speaking from experience, life can get pretty hectic sometimes.
Work piles up, I have deadlines to meet and things just get really chaotic.
During those periods, I just feel so sluggish because I haven’t had a lot of time to interact with people.
That’s when I realized how important it is to prioritize socializing with others and maintaining connections.
What To Do When You Are Tired Of Being Lonely
1. Stop Isolating Yourself
From what I’ve noticed, there’s a common mistake that I see a lot of people commit that prevents them from figuring out how to have a social life.
Before I tell you what that is, I want to remind you that learning how to meet like-minded friends is always going to be a numbers game.
The more people you interact with, the higher chance you have of creating quality connections.
That’s why you have to know how to put yourself out there more and give yourself as many opportunities as you can to socialize.
If right now you’re feeling lonely and don’t have any friends, let me ask you a question.
And I want you to be honest with yourself.
How many new people did you actually interact with recently?
Seriously.
If you said “zero” then that’s the issue right there.
How can you build rapport with others when you don’t have anybody to actually connect with?
The mistake that I see a lot of people commit that keeps them lonely is that they isolate themselves for too long.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
This is especially true for those who can work from anywhere.
I know it sounds obvious but nothing will happen if you don’t leave your house.
That’s why you have to make an effort to go out more.
Doing this doesn’t have to be complicated.
If you are someone who can do your job remotely, here’s what I recommend.
Make a list of all the things that you need to do on a daily basis.
And then, figure out which ones don’t really require a lot of effort or concentration.
At that point, get out of the house and do some work at either in a coffee shop or a coworking space.
That way, you can still get things done and be able to interact with people if you want to.
As someone who’s been working remotely for over a decade now, I can tell you firsthand how effective this is.
In fact, this is how I’ve met the majority of my closest friends.
By getting out of the house, you open up the possibility of potentially connecting with someone.
Imagine the compounding effect if you do this even a few times a week.
A year from now, you’ll figure out how to start a conversation and make friends without having to put too much effort into it.
2. Reset Your Brain
Sitting in front of the computer and thinking in a logical way for too long can have unexpected consequences.
In fact, this might be why you’re having difficulties building rapport with those around you.
For me to explain to you what I mean, let me share with you a quick story.
When I was in my early 20s, I worked as a structural designer for an engineering company.
I spent my entire day evaluating data, looking at problems, and trying to come up with designs for our clients.
That was a typical work day for me and I didn’t really think much of it.
And then, I started to notice something.
Whenever some of my coworkers would want to go for happy hour and hang out after work, I would feel really anxious.
I would be so in my head overthinking everything.
That’s why I had such a hard time interacting with them.
And because I was afraid of saying something that may sound stupid, I just kept my opinions to myself.
Check out this podcast interview with Anita Kozlowski, Founder of Live With Power Training Institute, where she talks about how to overcome mental barriers in communication.
As a result, I became known as the quiet one in the group and unfortunately, that became my reputation.
I obviously didn’t want that label for myself so I looked more into this issue.
And that’s when I realized something.
The reason why I was struggling socially back then was that I didn’t know how to shift my way of thinking.
This is especially the case after doing technical work all day.
If you can relate to this, my advice for you is to get in the habit of meditating more regularly.
All you have to do is to pick a quiet spot at your place.
Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and just focus on your breathing for a few minutes.
Watch your thoughts come and go without feeling the need to identify with any of them.
Another thing that you’ll want to do is to start journaling.
Write down whatever you’re thinking about on paper so you can free up your mind.
I would also encourage you to do a word association exercise.
Basically, you’ll want to look at an object and think outside of the box.
Ask yourself what else it reminds you of.
When you do these things, you’ll get out of your head much faster.
You’ll change your mindset from thinking logically to thinking more creatively.
This will help you manage your anxiety when you interact with people and you’ll be able to think more quickly on your feet.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to express yourself verbally and build rapport with others much easier.
3. Make Yourself Relatable
If you want to create more quality connections with others, you need to be able to hold a conversation with them.
And if you can’t do that, here’s what can happen.
You’ll have lots of lulls during your interactions.
That can feel pretty uncomfortable both for you and whoever you’re talking to.
In fact, you might feel insecure and start to worry about what the other person might be thinking.
The next thing you know, you end your conversation sooner than you would like to.
If this keeps happening, you might start to feel hesitant putting yourself out there.
How do I know this?
Time and time again, this is one of the biggest issues that I’ve seen with clients that I’ve had in the past.
Most of them are single males in their late 20s and work as software engineers.
In fact, a common mistake that I see a lot of them commit during their interactions is using a lot of jargons when they speak.
They’ll throw around a lot of complicated terminologies that only their coworkers would comprehend.
I mean, look.
If you’re in a meeting with your peers and you’re trying to get stuff done, then definitely communicate in that manner.
But, if you speak to others who are not from the same industry as you, then you’re going to confuse the heck out of them.
You’re going to make them feel excluded from the conversation and they’re going to tune you out mentally.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
If you want to create more quality connections with others, you need to be able to convey your ideas more effectively.
And the best way that I know to do that is to get good at telling stories.
That being said, the next time you share something, try to structure it properly.
Make sure it has a beginning, middle, and end.
Also, emphasize how things make you feel instead of talking about facts and data.
If you communicate in this manner, you’ll become more relatable to others.
This will ensure that whatever you talk about sounds a lot more interesting as well.
You’ll come across as an engaging speaker and you’ll be able to hold people’s attention much better.
As a result, anybody you interact with will feel more at ease and they’ll enjoy your company more.
4. Reach Out Regularly
Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
If so, you’re probably making this mistake.
Before I share that with you, I want you to realize something.
The older we get, the harder it is to create quality connections with those around us.
If you think about it, back when you were in school, you tend to run into the same people repeatedly, right?
That’s why it was so easy to build rapport with them.
Unfortunately, things aren’t like that once you’ve graduated and you’re out in the real world.
You now have more responsibilities which don’t give you a lot of free time to do anything else.
That’s why you have to pay close attention to this part of your life.
If not, the next thing you know, you’ll be all by yourself.
You’ll still be single and without any close connections.
You’ll spend week nights and weekends alone not by choice but because you have nobody to make plans with.
That being said, if you want to have more fulfilling relationships in your life, you have to get good at nurturing your connections.
Check out this video if you want to learn how to have a social life when you work from home.
For starters, make sure you reach out to people that you’ve just met.
Also, remember to follow up with your existing connections as well.
All you have to do is send someone a text, hit them up on social media, or give them a call.
Schedule time to catch up either over the phone, via video chat, or ideally, in person.
Also, take the initiative to plan get-togethers and invite people out.
By doing these things, you’ll come across as a leader because you’re the one taking the initiative.
But more than anything, you’re just going to feel a lot happier because you have more meaningful relationships around you.
5. Let People In
If you want to have more fulfilling connections in your life, there’s something that you need to understand.
In order for people to trust you, they have to like you.
And for them to like you, they have to know you.
And if you want them to know you, you have to be willing to open up.
Look, making small talk is great.
It’s good to be able to have casual conversations with others.
That way, you make them feel at ease and comfortable around you.
But, you won’t be able to bond with others if you never get past the initial chit-chat.
That’s why you have to be courageous and be willing to open up.
To illustrate my point, let me tell you a quick story.
One day, as I was leaving my apartment, my neighbor came out at the same time.
We nodded at each other and we stepped into the elevator together.
At first, we just exchanged some polite pleasantries and went our separate ways.
But, when we ran into each other again, I took the initiative to open up.
I mentioned something small but personal that I was working on.
And then, I noticed something.
What I shared caught his attention and he actually mentioned something similar as well.
At that point, we felt compelled to exchange contact information and schedule time to hang out.
When we met up, we chatted for hours and time flew by so quickly.
When we both got home, we messaged each other saying how much fun we had, and agreed to meet up again.
And that never would’ve happened if we just kept talking about things that didn’t really matter to us.
You see, the point that I’m trying to make is this.
If you’re wondering how to bond with others, you have to let them in.
I know that’s scary but that’s the risk you’re gonna have to take.
That being said, I can tell you from experience that it’s totally worth it.
By taking the lead and opening up, you’ll encourage others to do the same.
As a result, you’ll form deeper connections with those around you and you’ll build a closer friendship with them.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering why you’re tired of being lonely and what to do about it, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to stop isolating yourself or reach out to people more regularly?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.