Are you tired of isolating yourself and feeling lonely all the time?
If so, then you need to learn how to improve your social health.
I’m about to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to build rapport with anybody no matter how nervous I feel.
What You'll Learn In This Post
What Makes Good Social Health?
You have good social health when you’re socially adept.
You’re able to interact with people effectively and you know how to bond with others.
That means you’ve figured out how to have a social life and you’re around individuals you’re excited to spend time with.
How Can I Improve My Social Fitness?
1. Get Out Of Your Head
As someone who used to be socially anxious, I had a bad habit of ruminating all the time.
I was overly concerned about what people thought of me.
That’s why I was always in my head.
Even though I was physically present during my interactions, mentally, I was somewhere else.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be charming if you have social anxiety.
As a result, I had a lot of trouble interacting with others.
And if you think about it, it’s hard to keep talking to someone who appears to be distracted all the time, right?
If you can relate to that and you want to know how to improve your social health, you need to shift your focus.
Take the attention away from yourself and put it on others instead.
Keep in mind that we’re all different and we all have things that we’re naturally good at.
That’s why I’m encouraging you to view yourself as a student.
Follow your curiosity and see what you can learn from others.
The next time you talk to someone, ask yourself what’s so interesting about them.
Actively listen by leaning forward and nodding in agreement to acknowledge what they’re sharing.
Doing so will help you become more present and lessen your social anxiety as well.
You’ll also make anybody you interact with feel more important.
Just think about it.
Imagine how good it feels when the person you’re talking to is truly listening to you?
It’s pretty amazing, right?
Again, if you’re wondering how to be memorable to others, be present and practice being a good listener.
By doing so, people will leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
2. Go To The Right Places
At the end of the day, we all have places, venues, and events that make us feel more comfortable compared to others.
That’s why where you go to socialize makes a huge difference.
If you want to figure out how to improve your social health, you have to be more intentional with the way you put yourself out there.
If not, then you’ll experience a lot of rejection which can be discouraging.
And if you always feel defeated, you’ll be less likely to want to go out and interact with people, right?
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If you can relate to that, I know exactly where you’re coming from.
As someone who used to be shy, I got a lot of bad information while I was trying to learn how to be more socially confident.
A lot of the material that I read back then said that I had to go to bars and clubs to interact with people.
And even though I hated going to those places, I forced myself to do it anyway.
Time and time again, I ended up just getting drunk because I felt so overwhelmed and nervous.
If you’ve done that before, just know that you don’t have to go to those places if you don’t want to.
Instead, what you’ll want to do is to leverage your strengths.
You can do this by adding a social component to your passions, hobbies, and interests.
For example, instead of reading a book at home, go to a trendy coffee shop.
Join a fitness class instead of working out by yourself.
If you want to meet other creative individuals, sign up for photography or writing classes.
Do you see how that works?
Remember, mutual interest is the foundation of every great relationship.
Isn’t it so much easier to talk to someone who likes the same things as you?
My advice to you is to focus on meeting people whose values align with yours.
That way, you’ll easily figure out how to build a social circle since you’re doing something that you enjoy.
3. Learn To Make Small Talk
From what I’ve noticed, most people, especially introverts, hate making small talk.
They find it draining and just want to get into deep conversations right away.
And you know what, I totally get it.
Unfortunately, that’s just not how things work.
Whether you like it or not, you have to be able to have casual conversations with someone that you just met.
In order to build rapport with others, it’s good to exchange polite pleasantries first.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be talkative and have things to talk about.
Just think about it.
It’s weird to ask someone you don’t know well yet such a personal question too early, right?
You have to get them to warm up to you and ease them into the conversation.
If you don’t know how to do this, then you’ll have lots of awkward silences when you interact with people.
This can make whoever you’re talking to feel uncomfortable which can make them not want to continue engaging with you.
And this is why learning how to make small talk for introverts is so important.
The better you are at doing this, the more meaningful interactions you’re going to have.
One of the best ways to come up with things to discuss with others is to be more observant.
Get out of your head and just look around you.
Use your environment or the situation that you’re in to help you come up with interesting things to talk about.
For example, if you’re at a party, you can ask someone how they know the host.
If you’re at a coffee shop and someone’s reading a book, you can ask them how they like it so far.
If you’re at a conference, you can ask the other person what they’re hoping to learn from the speakers.
Do you see how that works?
By being able to exchange polite pleasantries, you’ll be able to gather relevant information.
This will help you learn more about the person you’re chatting with.
As a result, you’ll be able to lead the interaction more intentionally into topics that both of you will be into.
Again, if you want to know how to improve your social health, you have to get good at making small talk.
It’s a stepping stone to having deeper conversations so make sure you take the time to get good at it.
4. Ask Better Questions
Remember, the quality of your questions will determine how effortless your interactions feel.
Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of asking too many closed-ended questions back to back.
This can make your conversations seem like an interview and can feel pretty intrusive.
In fact, this is a common issue that I see a lot with our clients in our social skills coaching program.
Most of them have careers in tech and work in isolation.
They’re paid to think analytically and don’t have a lot of opportunities to talk to others.
They struggle socially simply because they lack awareness and experience doing so.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
In order to connect with people if you have social anxiety, make it a point to ask more open ended questions instead.
By doing so, you’ll encourage the person you’re speaking with to share more.
For example, instead of asking someone “Do you like your job?” You can ask, “What do you like most about your job?”
Do you see the difference?
The first question can be answered with a “yes” or “no” while the second one requires more of an explanation.
Keep in mind that people love talking about themselves anyway so go ahead and let them.
The more they talk, the less you have to and the more information you have to work with.
That could trigger other topics that both of you can potentially discuss.
As a result, you’ll have lots of options for where you want the conversation to go.
You’ll have an easier time maintaining your interactions which will help you build deeper connections with others.
5. Express Yourself Better
As someone who used to be socially anxious, I found it very difficult to interact with people.
In fact, I remember being so shy back in high school that I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall.
I was so afraid of getting rejected that’s why I just kept to myself.
As a result, I struggled to make friends let alone get dates.
I spent a lot of Friday and Saturday nights alone because I didn’t have anybody to hang out with.
I knew that if I didn’t do anything differently, my situation wasn’t going to improve.
The last thing that I wanted was to look back at my life when I was older and end up with a lot of regrets.
Sick and tired of always feeling left out, I made a decision to look more into this issue.
That’s when I realized that social skills are just that, skills.
It’s no different than learning an instrument or playing a new sport.
With the right information and enough practice, anybody can learn how to get better at socializing.
You too can figure out how to improve your social health if you’re willing to work on your communication skills.
Check out this podcast interview with Max Beaumont, Founder of Potato Chip Communications, where he talks about the importance of soft skills.
To help you get started, you have to learn how to express yourself verbally by telling good stories.
The next time you share something, make sure you structure it properly.
That way, your stories actually make sense and don’t just come off like a random thought.
What you’ll want to do is to set things up first.
Give some background information and create some contrast if it applies.
Avoid using too many facts and talk more about how things make you feel instead.
By doing so, you make your stories more relatable and captivating.
Lastly, release the tension you’ve built up when you talk about the resolution and make your point.
To help you hold people’s attention better, make sure you work on your delivery.
Remember, your hands convey trust so do your best to keep them out of your pocket.
Instead, use them to illustrate your ideas and accentuate important parts of whatever you’re sharing.
To make your stories more dynamic, avoid talking in a monotonous voice too.
If not, then you’ll bore people to death whenever you speak.
In this case, try to vary your tonality when you tell your stories.
Speak slower when you’re talking about something serious.
Be more animated whenever you share something that excites you.
Look, if you’re not used to doing any of this, just realize that this will take time.
You need to be patient with yourself because you’re not going to get things right immediately.
If you’re willing to, pretend you’re talking to someone and try recording yourself sharing your story.
That way, you’ll be able to observe your body language and hear how you sound.
This will help you make the necessary adjustments before you go out and interact with others.
By doing so, you’ll be able to convey your ideas more effectively and build rapport with whoever you talk to much faster.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to improve your social health, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to avoid isolating activities or touch base with old friends?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.