Remember, you have to talk to people every single day.
When you know how to succeed socially, you’ll be able to thrive in your personal, romantic, and professional life.
Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to figure out how to attract people in my life.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Identify What Matters To You
You become the average of the people you’re around with all the time.
That’s why you have to know how to build a social circle intentionally.
Before you start putting yourself out there, you have to clarify what kind of people you would like to meet first.
That way, you can be more purposeful with your efforts.
To give you an example from my own life, I wanted to surround myself with other creative, fit, and ambitious individuals.
That’s why these days, I spend a lot of time at trendy coffee shops, personal development events, and group fitness classes.
I know that my kind of people are there and I also like going to those venues myself.
At the end of the day, figuring out how to succeed socially doesn’t have to be difficult.
By taking the time to clarify what’s important to you, you’ll figure out how to meet like-minded friends much faster.
2. Plan Ahead Of Time
Have you ever bailed on events that you wanted to attend last minute because you felt too anxious?
If you want to know how to succeed socially, then you need to do some preparation.
Mitigate your fears by researching the social gathering that you’re planning on going to.
Try to anticipate what most people might be talking about.
And then write out some stories that you can potentially share.
If you think about it, most people usually discuss similar topics over and over again anyway, right?
That being said, come up with some interesting ways to talk about your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
Once you have these stories written out, practice telling them as much as you can.
You can also familiarize yourself with trending topics and stay up-to-date with current events.
When you know you have something valuable to say, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable interacting with anybody.
3. Change Your Self-Dialogue
Remember, the relationship you have with yourself will dictate your relationship with other people.
If you talk to yourself in a very demeaning way, then you need to change your self-dialogue.
Be more encouraging and speak to yourself the same way you would to a good friend.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you could with what you know.
By doing this consistently, you’re a lot more likely to put yourself out there and take more risks.
You’ll care less about what others think and learn how to not take things personally.
4. Present Yourself Well
Whether you like it or not, your looks really do matter.
We make snap judgments of people right away based on what we see.
To prove my point, picture this scenario.
Imagine how you’d treat someone who’s smiling and well-dressed compared to someone who’s sad and frumpy.
Very differently, right?
Check out this podcast interview with George Laboda, Founder of Gents Lounge, where he talks about how to level up your looks and style.
Remember, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression.
To succeed socially, you have to take your appearance seriously.
If you’re wondering how to be approachable, pay attention to how you present yourself.
If you’re not sure where to start, just look at who’s already attracting the type of people that you want in your life.
Observe what they wear, how they groom themselves, and their body language as well.
Use them as inspiration and emulate them as much as you can.
5. Like Yourself First
Most people who struggle socially have a bad habit of beating themselves up mentally.
They often compare themselves to others and keep thinking about their perceived flaws.
That’s why they don’t feel good about themselves.
Now let me ask you this.
How can you expect other people to like you if you don’t know how to like yourself?
Remember, you get more of what you think about all the time so be mindful of what you focus on.
The quickest way that I know to improve your self-image is to make a list of your positive traits.
Make an effort to focus on them as much as you can.
By doing this, you train your brain to think more of your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
Keep in mind that nobody is perfect and that we all have flaws.
On the other hand, we also have things that we’re naturally good at.
And now, it’s up to you on which one you’re going to focus on.
If you want to succeed socially, consciously put your attention on what’s good about you.
Stop feeling bad about things that you can’t do anything about,
By being more aware of your positive traits, you’ll start to feel better about yourself.
6. Do More Interesting Things
I hate to break it to you but if all you do is just go to work, go home and play video games, then something needs to change.
You can only talk about the same things over and over again for so long.
Remember, a boring life leads to boring conversations.
If you want to figure out how to be interesting, you need to expose yourself to novel things.
Check out this video if you want to know how to have a social life when you have no friends.
To help you get started, ask yourself what’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn.
Make a list and pick the ones that have a built-in social component to it.
That way, you get to develop new skills while meeting like-minded individuals.
For example, you can join a co-ed volleyball group.
You can take up kickboxing.
You can also sign up for any partner-style dance classes like salsa.
Do you see how that works?
As you can see, this whole process doesn’t have to be complicated.
You just need to be very intentional with how you go about it.
In fact, doing more interesting things is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.
Not to mention, acquiring new skills will make you a high-value person as well.
7. Say Something Nice
Imagine how good it feels when someone compliments you.
It’s pretty awesome, right?
That’s why if you have something good to say, make sure you say it.
Who doesn’t like receiving a genuine compliment?
Doing this also shows that you’re confident in yourself as well.
It communicates to others that you’re secure in who you are and you don’t have anything to prove.
Also, if you want your compliment to appear more thoughtful, praise people’s efforts instead of their physical traits.
For example, attractive people usually hear nice things about their appearance all the time.
But when you highlight something that they had to work hard for, that means a lot more to them.
Lastly, remember to be good at receiving compliments yourself.
When someone says something nice to you, accept it gracefully by smiling and saying thank you.
8. Be Genuinely Interested In Others
The truth is we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we like people who like us.
So if you want others to be interested in you, you have to be interested in them first.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
In fact, this is one of the most important qualities that you need to develop if you’re wondering how to be more likeable.
So the next time you interact with someone, be curious about them and ask more open-ended questions.
Actively listen and make them feel understood.
Remind yourself that every single person you talk to has a story to tell.
If you show genuine interest in them, they will do the same to you.
Also, whenever possible, explore common interests early on in your interactions.
Familiarity builds comfort very quickly.
If you want to succeed socially, make an effort to highlight your similarities as much as you can.
9. Work On Your Delivery
Remember, it’ll be hard for anybody to hear you if you’re too soft-spoken and have low energy.
That’s why you need to work on your delivery.
That way, you’ll be able to hold people’s attention better.
Check out this video if you want to know how to express yourself louder and clearer.
The next time you talk to someone, try to increase the sound of your voice.
You can do this by talking from your stomach and not your chest.
Also, use your hands to accentuate what you’re saying.
By doing so, you’ll come across as a captivating storyteller.
If you’re willing to, I recommend you practice in front of the mirror.
Try recording yourself to get a better feel for your delivery.
That way, you can make the necessary adjustments before you go out and socialize with others.
10. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
The fear of rejection holds most people back from putting themselves out there.
That’s why you have to learn how to not take things personally.
First of all, you have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.
Maybe the person who turned you down is having a bad day when you tried talking to them.
Who knows?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The best thing you can do is to put all your energy into things that you can control.
The rest, you just have to let it go.
Again, rejection is not about you.
When it happens, just brush it off and move on.
11. Practice In Smaller Settings
If the idea of talking to a group of people intimidates you, then don’t start there.
Remember, social confidence is a muscle that can be developed.
You just need enough time and repetition.
If you don’t have a lot of experience socializing in general, then renegotiate your expectations.
You don’t have to figure out how to have a group conversation for now.
I recommend you get good at one-on-one interactions first.
Practice your social skills in smaller settings as much as you can.
That way, you can gather a lot of positive reference experiences.
Eventually, you’ll figure out how to be more socially confident and group conversations will be much easier for you.
12. Don’t Be Discouraged
Everything worthwhile takes time.
Don’t expect yourself to get things right immediately because you’re guaranteed to make mistakes.
If you want to know how to succeed socially, just focus on the process.
Be patient and let go of any attachment to the outcome.
Whenever you take action and make a move, give yourself a pat on the back.
Be your own cheerleader and celebrate your wins no matter how small they are.
You’ll learn how to improve your conversation skills eventually if you just keep at it.
To help you stay motivated, remember to connect with the emotions behind your goals.
Make a conscious effort to think of what you want and why you want it.
Doing this will help you stay on track.
That way, you keep going even when things get tough.
13. Evaluate Your Progress
You can’t improve what you don’t measure.
That’s why you need to take the time to evaluate your progress on a regular basis.
Ask yourself what’s going well, what you learned, and what you still need to work on?
By taking the time to reflect, you’ll be able to look at your situation more objectively.
You’ll see where you’re at and what you still need to do to reach your social goals.
But if you want to get results much faster, seek expert guidance.
By working with a social skills coach, you’ll get a proven plan to follow.
You’ll get specific feedback on how you’re doing.
You’ll also have someone keep you accountable so that you don’t procrastinate.
By learning how to be more socially confident, you’ll be able to make the most out of any gathering you attend.
That way, you don’t miss out on opportunities to connect with other people.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to succeed socially, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on changing your self-dialogue or on presenting yourself well?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.