Would you like to know how to build a social circle but you feel too self-conscious?
If so, then you need to learn how to make friends with social anxiety.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I want to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Like Yourself First
If you want to know how to make friends with social anxiety, you have to feel good about who you are.
Practice self-compassion and don’t beat yourself up mentally.
Avoid reminding yourself of your past mistakes and stop focusing on your perceived flaws.
Think about it.
How can you expect others to be drawn to you if you have low self-worth?
Check out this video if you want to know 5 psychological tricks to make people like you instantly.
Remember, how you treat yourself will determine how others treat you as well.
That’s why you have to make an effort to think of what’s good about you.
In fact, focusing on your positive traits is one of the best confidence-building exercises you can ever do.
When you do this consistently, you’ll learn how to like yourself.
You’ll start to realize that you have a lot to offer in any relationship.
You’ll see yourself as someone worth getting to know and you won’t be as intimidated by other people.
2. Have A Mindfulness Practice
Most individuals who struggle socially have a bad habit of overthinking social interactions.
They’re always in their heads and they identify with their thoughts too closely.
If that sounds like you, I recommend you develop a mindfulness practice.
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To help you get started, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing for a few minutes each day.
You can use a meditation app or just set a timer on your phone.
By doing this consistently, you’ll train your mind to slow down.
That way, you can analyze your thoughts better and get rid of self-defeating beliefs.
As a result, you’ll figure out how to relax around people and feel less anxious in any situation.
3. Make Socializing A Priority
Personally, I’ve worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers in the past.
Because they’re paid based on their technical expertise, they don’t really get to socialize much.
If this sounds like you, it’s easy to get caught up with your work.
The next thing you know it’s been a while since you’ve gone out and met new people.
If you want to learn how to make friends with social anxiety, you have to make connecting with others a priority.
Stop making excuses and start taking responsibility for yourself.
Keep in mind that there’s more to life than just going to work and buying stuff.
Once your basic needs are met, making money for the sake of it isn’t going to make you any happier.
If you want to experience greater joy and fulfillment, you also need to know how to bond and build deeper friendships with others.
4. Educate Yourself
From what I’ve seen, most people who struggle socially lack awareness and experience around this topic.
They literally just don’t know any better.
It’s not like they teach this stuff in school or at home, right?
But just like any skill, you can figure out how to be more socially confident as well.
It’s no different than playing a sport or learning an instrument.
With enough time and the right effort, you too can become more outgoing.
To help you get started, you have to educate yourself on how to interact with people.
You can read books about it, listen to podcasts and watch videos around this topic.
And then, try to implement what you’ve learned as much as you can.
The more action you take, the faster you’ll figure out how to improve your conversation skills.
5. Meet People Strategically
Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a time and place to stay at home and just be with yourself.
But if you’re wondering how to how to make friends with social anxiety, avoid activities that isolate you for too long.
If you want to know how to be more outgoing as an introvert, plan ahead of time.
The best way to do this is to add a social component to your passions, hobbies, and interests.
Choose events and activities that you enjoy and that also have the types of individuals that you want to meet.
For example, if you like dancing, take salsa lessons.
If you want to meet more artistic individuals, sign up for a painting class.
If you want to connect with active people, join a fitness boot camp.
Do you see how that works?
If you don’t want to go to bars and clubs, you don’t have to.
Since you have limited energy to socialize, you have to be more intentional with how you connect with others.
6. Challenge Your Assumptions
Most people who struggle socially tend to imagine how bad things will go.
They have this exaggerated idea of what failure looks like that it cripples them from taking action.
In fact, I remember working with a client before who literally thought that people were going to spit at him if he tried talking to them.
As crazy as it sounded, he believed that to be true.
That’s why he never went out and just kept to himself.
Check out this podcast episode with Anita Kozlowski, Founder of Live With Power Training Institute, where she talks about how to overcome mental barriers in communication.
If you don’t challenge your assumptions, you’re going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to connect with people.
As a result, you’re going to live a life full of regrets.
If you want to know how to make friends with social anxiety, you have to get good at questioning your limiting beliefs.
Evaluate your disempowering thoughts and ask yourself if they’re true or not?
Don’t just believe everything that your mind tells you right away.
Entertain the possibility that there might be a different way of seeing your situation.
Challenge your assumptions and start to take small risks.
By doing so, you’ll prove to yourself that nothing really bad happens when you go out.
If you do this consistently, you’ll figure out how to be social as an introvert.
7. Be Genuinely Interested In Others
People who don’t feel comfortable in social situations think that all eyes are on them.
They feel too self-conscious because they’re overly concerned about what others think.
As a result, they stifle their personality and try way too hard to fit in.
But if you want to figure out how to make friends with social anxiety, you have to be able to take the focus off yourself.
Get out of your head and be interested in others instead.
The truth is we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we like people who like us.
The next time you interact with someone, give them your full and undivided attention.
Be curious about them, actively listen and ask more open-ended questions.
By doing this you’ll make anybody you talk to feel more seen, heard, and understood.
8. Come Up With Things To talk About
If you want to know how to avoid awkward silences, then take the time to come up with things to say.
Doing so will help you become more confident talking to people.
The same topics tend to come up in conversation over and over again anyway.
That being said, I encourage you to think of interesting ways to discuss different areas of your life.
Check out this video if you want to know how to be talkative and confident.
Prepare some stories regarding your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
You can also try to stay up to date with current events.
The more stories you put together, the easier it’ll be for you to figure out how to never run out of things to say.
You’ll feel a lot more comfortable interacting with others when you know what to talk about and how to respond.
You’ll experience less approach anxiety and you’ll be able to participate in any group conversation much better.
9. Look More Approachable
Remember, nobody can read your mind.
In order to make friends with social anxiety, you have to know how to be approachable.
If you rub people the wrong way, then you’re already swimming against the current.
As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression.
We all make snap judgments of people right away based on what we see.
Think about it.
Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have their arms crossed, and has a frown on their face?
Probably not, right?
That’s why you have to pay attention to how you’re coming across.
Or else you might be pushing people away unintentionally.
In order to appear more friendly, remember to have a more open body language.
Stand up straight, keep your chin up and avoid crossing your arms and legs.
Maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.
By doing so, you’ll come across as more inviting to others.
When you look approachable, more people are going to be inclined to interact with you.
10. Nurture Your Connections
Most individuals who struggle socially make the mistake of being too passive.
They’re stuck at home on a Friday night waiting for people to reach out to them to do something.
If you’re wondering how to make friends with social anxiety, avoid doing this at all costs.
Take the initiative and be the first one to make plans with others.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
Give people a call, hit them up on social media, and invite them out when you host an event.
Speaking from experience, my friends always tell me that they appreciate it when they hear from me out of the blue.
I know this sounds like a lot of work but there’s really no way around it.
If you want to have lifelong relationships, you have to get good at nurturing your connections
11. Take The Time To Reflect
Not seeing progress can be really discouraging.
It’s easy to give up when you feel like you’re not getting the results that you want.
That’s why I’m encouraging you to start documenting your journey.
If you want to implement this for yourself, take a moment to evaluate how you did as soon as you get home from any social gathering.
Ask yourself what you thought went well, what you learned, and what you could’ve done differently?
They say insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.
By taking the time to reflect, you can be more strategic with how you go about things.
That way, you’ll be able to assess your situation more objectively.
You’ll see where you’ve made progress and what you need to work on for next time.
Also, remember to be your own cheerleader and give yourself a pat on the back.
Celebrate your wins no matter how small you think they are.
That way, you maintain your motivation, especially during tough moments.
12. Ask For Help
Becoming more socially adept is like baking a cake.
You need to have the right ingredients and follow the recipe in the recommended order.
Or else, then you won’t get the outcome that you want, right?
If you’ve been working hard at your social skills and you’re still not where you want to be, then ask for help.
Consider working with a social skills coach.
By doing so, you’ll get a proven plan to follow that works well for your personality and unique situation.
You’ll also have someone give you feedback and keep you accountable.
That way you don’t procrastinate and you take the right action consistently.
There will be no more guesswork and you’ll make progress very quickly.
As a result, you’ll finally feel in control of this part of your life.
You never have to miss out on opportunities to create meaningful relationships.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to make friends with social anxiety, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to make socializing a priority or on nurturing your connections?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.