If you don’t know how to approach someone, you’re going to have a tough time figuring out how to have a social life.
You’ll always catch yourself sitting on the sidelines because you’re too afraid to take action.
This can cause you to feel helpless and you’ll miss out on a lot of opportunities to create quality connections.
Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to overcome approach anxiety and expand my network.
Once you figure this out you’ll be able to consistently put yourself out there instead of feeling left behind.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Recall Previous Successes
Remember, you get exactly what you think about the most.
That’s why you have to be mindful of what you focus on.
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially have a bad habit of beating themselves up mentally.
They replay past mistakes in their heads over and over again which lowers their self-esteem.
If you can relate to that and keep doing this, you’ll constantly feel nervous.
This can make you doubt yourself which will make you avoid people and social situations.
That being said, if you want to figure out how to approach someone, avoid doing this at all costs.
To succeed socially, make a conscious effort to think of all the times that you had good interactions with people.
It doesn’t even have to be anything big.
By doing so, you’ll feel more motivated and encouraged.
When you remind yourself of your previous social wins, you’ll realize that you’re not doing as bad as you might’ve assumed.
This will make you feel more capable and you’ll be a lot more likely to take risks.
If you keep doing this, you’ll learn how to put yourself out there eventually and you’ll be less afraid of getting rejected.
2. Stop Hesitating So Much
Most people who struggle socially are so worried about what others think.
As a result, they’ll pace back and forth in their heads trying to come up with the perfect things to say. “
And by the time they’ve thought of something clever, it’s usually too late.
They’ve missed out on the opportunity to make a connection and they’re mad at themselves again for not taking action.
From Shy To Social
Discover proven steps to approach and talk to anybody no matter how shy you are.
If you’re wondering how to approach someone, you need to stop hesitating so much.
One of the best ways to do this is to follow the three-second rule.
The next time you’re at a gathering and you see someone you want to talk to, count to three and start walking.
Keep your opener simple and introduce yourself right away.
The truth is, it doesn’t even matter what you say.
The fact that you took action is what makes all the difference.
The more you do this, the more abundant your social life is going to be.
If you want to know how to build a social circle very quickly, this is one of the best ways to do it.
3. Assume People Will Like You
Personally, I’ve helped numerous shy and introverted individuals in the past.
Because they were socially inept, they’ve experienced a lot of rejection and have been through many awkward experiences.
As a result, they started to act standoffish to protect themselves from getting hurt again.
Check out this podcast interview with Mark Sing, Host of The Unapologetic Man Podcast, talks about how to remove self-doubt.
If you can relate to this and you don’t look friendly, then you might be pushing people off unintentionally.
That being said, in order to build rapport with others, you have to challenge your assumptions.
Instead of always thinking others won’t like you, why not do the opposite?
Take the lead and be warm towards people right away.
To help you with this, just imagine how you’d treat an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while?
That’s exactly what you want to be focusing on when you meet people for the first time.
When you assume that you’ll get along well with others, then you’ll act in ways to make that happen.
4. Appear More Friendly
The reality is, we all make snap judgments about people right away.
Your style, body language, and overall demeanor are the first few things people see.
To prove my point, let me ask you a question.
Would you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, poorly dressed, and has a frown on their face?
Probably not, right?
If you want to learn how to approach someone, you need to pay attention to the way you present yourself.
To help you appear more friendly, make sure you have an open body language.
Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and keep your arms to your side.
Maintain proper eye contact and have a genuine smile on your face.
Also, make sure your clothes are clean, up-to-date, and well-fitting.
Remember to groom yourself properly as well.
By doing these things, you’ll look like someone worth getting to know.
People will assume positive things about you and they’ll be a lot more open to hearing what you have to say.
5. Have Things To Talk About
From what I’ve noticed, those who struggle socially don’t know how to keep a conversation going.
They don’t know how to avoid awkward silences during their interactions which makes them hesitant to take action.
If that sounds like you, then you need to prepare in advance.
Check out this video if you want to become more talkative and less quiet.
If you’re wondering how to be more talkative, take the time to come up with stories that you can share.
Doing so will help you feel less nervous when you interact with people.
If you think about it, the same topics tend to come up in conversation over and over again anyway.
That being said, prepare some stories regarding your work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to, events you’ve attended, and your interests.
Try to stay up to date with current events as well.
Visit a few reputable news websites so you’re aware of trending topics.
The more stories you put together, the easier it’ll be for you to figure out how to never run out of things to say.
You’ll feel more confident attending social events and you’ll have an easier time contributing to any group conversation.
6. Make Small Talk
Making small talk for introverts is such an important skill to develop.
At the end of the day, you have to be able to exchange polite pleasantries with people first in order for them to warm up to you.
Also, if you think about it, it’s weird to ask a person you don’t know well yet such a deep question, right?
That’s why it’s best to take things slow in the beginning.
Tired Of Feeling Lonely?
If you’re struggling socially and would like some help, let’s connect.
By making small talk, you’ll be able to learn more about the person you’re chatting with.
That way, you can determine which direction you want the conversation to go.
This will help you bring up topics that both of you are interested in which makes for a more enjoyable interaction.
The better you are at doing this, the faster you’ll be able to create deeper connections with anybody you talk to.
7. Be Interested In Others
The truth is, we’re all inherently selfish.
That’s why we tend to be fond of those who like us.
If you want to know how to be charming, take the focus away from yourself.
Get out of your head, follow your curiosity, and put your attention on others instead.
Remember, every person that you interact with has knowledge and life experiences that are unique to them.
My advice is to view yourself as a student and see what you can learn from others.
The next time you talk to someone, be present and give them your undivided attention.
Imagine how good it feels when you know someone is truly listening to you?
It’s pretty awesome, right?
If you want to come across as an interesting person, you have to be interested in others first.
By doing so, you’ll make anybody you talk to feel special.
They’ll leave the interaction with a positive impression of you and they’ll look forward to seeing you again.
8. Look For Things In Common
In order to create more quality connections, you have to know how to relate to people.
You can do this by exploring mutual interests as much as you can.
The next time you talk to someone, make an effort to point out things that both of you have in common.
For example, let’s say you and the person you’re chatting with work in the same industry.
Then, by all means, keep talking about that.
On the other hand, if an unfamiliar topic comes up, then try to relate emotionally.
You can do this by asking them about their motivation for doing what they do.
You can also ask how certain things make them feel.
From then on, you can bring up a story where you’ve experienced something similar in the past.
In order to make this work, you have to know your stories well and you have to be a good listener.
The better you are at relating to others, the more likeable you’ll come across.
9. Don’t Take Things Personally
The fear of rejection holds most people back from putting themselves out there.
But, if you want to figure out how to approach someone, you can’t make things about yourself.
The truth is, you have no idea what’s really going on in people’s lives.
Not many people talk about this but good timing plays a huge role in creating more quality connections.
I know getting rejected hurts but the next time someone turns you down, remind yourself that it’s not about you.
Maybe they were having a bad day when you tried talking to them.
Who knows?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That’s why you should always be empathetic.
Put yourself in other people’s situations and try to see where they’re coming from.
It’s your mind anyway, you can fill it with anything that you want.
You might as well choose thoughts that make you feel good and support your social goals.
By doing so, you’ll learn how to not take things personally and you’ll become more courageous.
10. Just Keep At It
If you never learned how to approach someone, you have to manage your expectations.
That way, you don’t feel discouraged.
Remember, nobody is good at anything when they’re just starting out.
You can’t possibly think that you’ll become socially savvy right away.
This is especially true if you’ve been isolated for so long and you don’t have a lot of experience interacting with people.
Check out this video if you want to become socially confident if you’re socially inept.
To keep yourself motivated, you have to practice self-compassion.
Anticipate that things will take time and that you’re going to make mistakes.
My advice is to just focus on the process instead of the outcome.
If you keep showing up and doing the work, it’s inevitable that you’ll learn how to be more outgoing.
But if you want to shortcut your learning, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
By working with a social skills coach, you’ll experience less frustration because you’ll have a proven plan to follow.
You’ll also have someone give you specific feedback and keep you accountable as well.
You’ll succeed socially much faster and you’ll finally get this part of your life handled.
You never have to worry about it ever again.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to approach someone, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to stop hesitating so much or work on appearing more friendly?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.